Pucker Up
by Moozy426
Summary: A story from Puck's perspective about Glee in general and his situation with Quinn. Puck/Quinn and Puck/Rachel will be heavily featured.
1. Chapter 1

**Pucker Up**

Puck looked around at the other members of Glee Club, and tried for the hundredth time to remember how he had gotten himself into this mess.

In one corner, Kurt was fixing his hair while offering Mercedes and Tina tips on how to apply make-up..."For a smoky eye ladies, you want to use a dark color and extend it past the lash line. Don't be afraid to be daring, but don't go too overboard or you'll end up looking like a fierce raccoon…"

Puck tried to shake that image out of his head. On the other side of the choir room, the football players were discussing the upcoming home-game. Finn was sitting in the back looking exhausted, and that weird girl, Rachel Berry, had her nose in some sheet music. She was attacking the paper with a pink highlighter, probably marking her multitude of solo parts Puck thought. Rachel was wearing a crisp, white shirt with a grey skirt that hit above the knee. Puck noted quickly that a blue slushie would contrast nicely with that blouse.

Scanning his eyes to the front of the room, Puck took note of where the Cheerios stood. Two of the three girls were giggling about something, while the third faked a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Quinn Fabray, she was the real reason why Puck was in this singing, dancing, and sometimes bedazzled (thanks to Kurt) hellhole. He wanted to be near her, but she wanted nothing to do with him.

Puck often wondered how his best buddy, Finn, could be so clueless about Quinn's situation. Puck wanted to recommend that Finn pay more attention in Biology class. Then he might know that you need some actual physical contact, (skin-to-skin, not bathing suit-to-bathing suit), to knock-up a girl. Even at this moment, Puck wanted to run over to Finn and shout in his best Maury Povich voice, "You are not the father," and then add a smug, "Because I am."

Puck resisted the urge because he didn't want to hurt Quinn any more than he already had.

"Good afternoon everyone," Mr. Schuester said as he entered the room and broke up Puck's line of thinking.

"As you know, we still have a lot of work to do if we want to be prepared for sectionals. Let's warm up our voices."

The glee members formed two sloppy lines in front of the piano and began to sing some scales.

After they were warmed up, Mr. Schu broke the class into three smaller groups with four members. All Puck heard was, "I want Rachel, Finn, Quinn, and Puck to form a group over there…"

Ugh, Puck groaned. He would rather be on the bottom of a pile-up on the football field then stuck in a group with the two solo-hogs and his icy-tempered baby mama.

Mr. Schu's instructions were simple, he wanted each group to pick a duet from a movie or musical and have two people sing the leads, while the other two sang back-up.

"You all get a half hour to practice. Your songs aren't going to be perfect, but I want you to really listen to each other. Find the best way to balance and blend your voices, while also trying to maximize your sound acoustically."

Puck took his time walking over to his group mates. Finn and Quinn were standing close to each other while Rachel was facing opposite them. Puck stood next to Rachel and kept his eyes glued to the floor. He knew this was going to be torture.

When no one spoke up, Rachel cleared her throat and said, "I think it would be spectacular if we picked a song from Les Miserables or Miss Saigon or West Side Story…you know one of the classics. I could be one of the leads of course, since I have pretty much every song memorized, my repertoire is very extensive…"

Puck saw Rachel's mouth continue to move, but he no longer comprehended the words. He just wondered how anyone had the capacity to speak so quickly.

"….and I think Finn's voice would be perfect for Tony, and I could play Maria" Rachel continued. In the very brief moment that she stopped talking to take in air, Puck jumped in. "We only have a little while to pick a song and rehearse. I think we should pick something that everyone knows."

Rachel seemed a bit shocked, "You guys don't know any of the songs from those musicals?" Her inquiry was met with blank stares. "Well, what movies or musical numbers helped form your youth?"

Finn rubbed some of the sleepiness from his eyes and said, "I liked to watch Disney movies. I have a lot of those songs memorized."

"Disney movies? You're kidding right?"

He wasn't kidding.

Half an hour later, their group was singing "A Whole New World" from _Aladdin_.

Rachel and Finn took the lead parts of course, while Quinn and Puck oohed and aahed in the background.

Puck noticed during their song that Rachel and Finn did not take their eyes off each other. Finn emphasized the word _Princess_ in the line, "Now tell me Princess" almost as if he actually viewed Rachel as royalty.

Puck was disgusted by their blatant display. Finn should not be looking at Rachel that way when he was going to be a father. Okay, Puck mentally conceded that Finn wasn't actually going to be a father, but he didn't know that slight detail yet.

When they were finished, Mr. Schu praised the genuine feeling that was conveyed during the lead parts. Puck thought that the only genuine feeling he could detect from Finn was a hardening in his pants when he looked at Rachel. Puck almost felt sorry for the guy, since he knew that his best bud wasn't getting any from the ice queen.

Almost.

As they were packing up to leave, Puck noticed that Quinn had one hand to her stomach and she was holding very still. Since Finn was talking to Mr. Schu about some trouble he was having with choreography (like his inability to control his two left feet), Puck figured it was safe to walk over.

He whispered, "You okay."

Quinn refused to meet his eyes, but answered back, "Yeah, I'm just a little nauseated."

"You're not gonna toss your cookies right here are you?"

Quinn's head snapped up. "How sensitive of you. No, I think it'll pass."

Puck wanted to help so he said, "When I had stomachaches as a kid, my mom would give me flat ginger ale and saltine crackers. It usually made the nausea go away."

"Yeah well, thanks to you, my problem isn't going to go away for another seven months. And then eighteen years after that."

Puck didn't know how to respond, and he didn't get a chance to. Finn walked over and said, "Quinn babe, you okay?"

She gestured to her stomach, "You know, just the usual."

Finn reached for her arm, "Come on. I'll buy you a soda to help settle your stomach."

Quinn linked her arm in his, "Thanks Finn, you're so sweet." Quinn glanced over her shoulder and warned Puck with her eyes to keep his mouth shut.

Puck silently watched them leave. Intellectually, he knew why Quinn preferred being with Finn. She had pretty much told him why herself. She thought Puck was an irresponsible loser who wasn't going anywhere in life. Hell, half of the time he agreed with her, but that didn't make her comments hurt any less.

He may not be scholarship material, but Puck thought he did okay for himself. He had his pool cleaning business, he always paid his bills on time, and he went to school most days. Plus, he had a lot of skills he could teach to a kid, like playing guitar or football: skills that he had to learn for himself because his dad wasn't around.

While Puck wasn't necessarily ready to be a father, he was afraid that one day his kid would find out about the lie and hate him for it. Puck didn't want his kid to hate him. The only way to prevent that from happening was to get Quinn to tell the truth. It had to come from her; Puck needed her to acknowledge him in that way.

With resolve, Puck walked to his car and stashed his bag in the backseat. He had to come up with a way to convince Quinn that Finn was not the knight in shining armor that she thought he was.

While starting the engine, Puck saw Rachel Berry walk out the school doors. She was singing some song to herself, oblivious to the rest of the world. So oblivious that she walked in front of several moving vehicles which beeped at her to get out of the way.

An idea was beginning to form in Puck's head. He suddenly knew of a way to tarnish Finn in Quinn's eyes. His plan might be difficult, but he was determined to get Quinn to see that a knight in shining armor could come in a variety of different packages. Why, said knight could even be sporting a mohawk. Now somewhat relieved, Puck brushed one hand through the bristley patch of hair down the middle of his head and drove out of the lot.


	2. Chapter 2

Puck lingered in the hallways of William McKinley High School. He had spent the previous night thinking of the best way to implement his new plan of action, operation "Prevent your best friend from claiming your unborn child as his own without looking like a pansy ass bitch." The title might be a little long, but Puck thought that it accurately described his goals.

The main objective of the plan was to get Rachel Berry to temporarily be his girlfriend. For some strange reason, Finn had been mooning over Rachel like a lovesick puppy that Puck wanted to put out of its misery. If it looked like Puck was hooking up with Rachel, then Finn might get jealous enough to break things off with Quinn. Being the nice guy that he was, Puck would then swoop in to take Finn's place.

The plan seemed relatively simple until Puck remembered that he had to actually be nice to Rachel Berry.

Rachel freakin' Berry.

Puck couldn't remember the exact number of slushies he had thrown in her face over the years, but he had his suspicions that the number was higher than Finn could count.

In order to maximize his chance for success, Puck decided that he needed to change up his dating strategy. Seducing a geeky, self-absorbed, show-tune singing teenager was definitely going to be different than seducing an experienced cougar. For starters, hot moms usually took one look at his muscular body (with abs upon abs) and nipple ring, and melted into a puddle at his feet. He was pretty sure that Rachel Berry could care less about his looks. Therefore, Puck determined that he would have to turn on the charm.

When the lunch bell rang, Puck hurried over to Rachel's locker. He gave himself one final pep talk by muttering "Who's da man? That's right, you da man" under his breath.

Rachel was shoving notebooks into a locker that was covered with (what else) stars.

Acting casually, Puck said, "Hey, Rachel."

Rachel appeared startled. "Am I in your way? You know, you could just go around me."

"No, you're not in my way. I just wanted to say that I thought you sounded really good at glee practice yesterday. Nice pitch." Puck struggled to think of another compliment he could give. Somehow, he didn't think the statement, "The style of your sweater reminds me of my grandmother, but I guess what's underneath it isn't too bad" would do the trick.

Rachel didn't react to his compliment the way Puck thought she would. She craned her neck to look at both ends of the hallway before saying, "My pitch is not just nice, it's impeccable. Also, where are the cameras?"

"What cameras?" Puck asked in a confused tone.

"The cameras documenting our conversation," Rachel said matter-of-factly. "There must be cameras here because you are being nice to me. That means one of two things. Firstly, we could be on some new reality TV show that follows a bully and his prey. That seems somewhat far-fetched. Or option number two, the more likely option, is that you have set up a nasty prank that you wish to record for posterity."

Puck stared at Rachel blankly. He was now convinced that Rachel was not only a weird chick, but also a crazy one.

Rachel continued on…"Just so you know, I don't give free press or interviews. And if you're planning a prank, then you better expedite the process because I am on my way to lunch." Rachel slammed her locker shut and turned to face Puck head-on.

Puck shifted from one foot to the other. "Look Rachel, there are no cameras and I don't have anything planned."

"Okay, what is the real reason for your accolades then?"

"Um," Puck stuttered.

"Do you need someone to do your homework?" Rachel asked impatiently.

"No."

"Wash your car?"

"No."

"Restring your guitar?"

"No one touches my guitar but me."

Puck had to put a stop to this insane guessing game.

"I came over to your locker because I wanted to know if you were free this weekend. If you are, then I thought that we could go see a movie or something. I looked at the listings, and thought you might like to see _Fame_."

"Oh, I do want to see that mov…" Rachel paused before her mouth erupted like a volcano spewing thoughts.

. "What's the catch? Why are you asking me out? Did you talk to Finn about me? Just because I had a momentary lapse in judgment in the auditorium and at the bowling alley does not mean I am easy despite what he may have said…" Rachel was panting at this point.

Puck reached out and grabbed Rachel by the shoulders, "Dude, you need to stop and breathe."

Rachel took a couple of deep breaths. Puck let go once he felt her shoulders relax. He then set out to answer all her questions.

"There's no catch. No, I haven't talked to Finn about you, and I seriously doubt there is anything remotely easy about you."

"Come on," Rachel responded. "I know all about your reputation."

Puck smiled innocently. "What reputation?"

"That you will go after any girl, regardless of age, because you really like to…" Rachel trailed off.

Puck enjoyed seeing the embarrassed expression on her face. "I really like to what?"

A pink flush crept up Rachel's cheeks. "You know what you like to do, it rhymes with your name. Well, your nickname anyway."

"Are you referring to the fact that I drive a_ truck_?" Puck teased. "Or that I occasionally eat _duck_? Or that I like to _fu_…."

Before he could get out the last consonant sound, Rachel clapped her hand over his mouth. "Your vulgarity astounds. Here's a rhyming word for you, you make me want to _upchuck_. Good bye!" Rachel turned and took a few steps down the hallway.

"Rachel, wait." Puck jogged the short distance to catch up with her.

Rachel stopped in her tracks.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said. I'm also sorry about the way I've treated you in the past. Now that I'm in glee club, I'm a changed man and I know how much hard work you put into your singing. I thought going out with you might be fun."

Rachel raised her eyebrows and gave Puck a look that said she was not buying the crap he was trying to sell.

Puck sighed. His plan was not going the way he wanted it to at all. It would have been easier for him to charm the coach of the cheerleading team, Sue Sylvester. At least she looked like she knew how to have a good time.

"Okay Rachel, I am going to level with you. I asked you out because I was hoping we could pretend to date for a couple of weeks."

"Why would you want to pretend to date me?"

"I am trying to help Finn out because right now, he is being a major buttwad."

Rachel ignored his choice of words, "I am not following your logic. How would my being your fake girlfriend help Finn?"

Puck pointed to his head and said, "My boy's messed up en la cabeza. He's confused about his feelings. He likes you, he likes Quinn."

Rachel interrupted, "Quinn's pregnant. Finn has a responsibility to take care of her. I am no longer in the picture."

"We're in high school Rachel. Finn has an obligation to Quinn's fetus, but they aren't married. He can date whoever he wants to."

Rachel had a guilty but hopeful look on her face. "Finn said that he likes me?"

"He didn't have to. You'd have to be a deaf and blind mute not to know that Finn wants to be the leading man in your life story. Who needs regular talking, you two could just sing to each other all day long."

"I still don't see how this is any of your business."

"I'm making it my business. Not to get all Babysitter's Club or anything, but Finn's my best friend. The guy needs to straighten out his head. If he thinks we're dating, he might get jealous enough to realize that he really wants to be with you. Or, he might figure out that he should be with Quinn. She deserves to be with a guy that truly cares for her, just her. Either way, I'm hoping that after he makes a decision I won't have to listen to anymore of his whining."

Rachel was thoughtful for a moment before she spoke, "I guess that makes sense, but part of me thinks that Finn and Quinn should be able to work on their relationship without any outside manipulation. I don't want to potentially take Finn away from his child."

Puck reacted strongly, "If Finn stays with Quinn out of obligation or guilt they could end up resenting each other. And then the kid would be the one who suffers. No kid should ever feel like they were unwanted or a mistake."

Puck paused. Rachel wanted to ask him a personal question about his own childhood, but the serious look on his face made her hold her tongue for once.

Puck coughed to cover the awkward silence, "Anyways, I just want my friend back and I was hoping you could help me with that."

"I find your concern surprising, but also genuine. I don't think you have to worry about that baby though, Finn is going to make a wonderful father regardless of his relationship with his child's mother."

Rachel had been trying to make Puck feel better, but for some reason that she didn't understand, his face fell further when she had uttered that last sentence.

"Yeah well, that's what people tell me. Too bad we can't all be like Finn," Puck said mostly to himself.

"I gotta get going Rachel, but promise me that you will at least think about what I said? Please?"

Before she could stop herself, Rachel nodded her head and said, "I promise to seriously consider your proposal."

Puck started to walk backwards down the hallway and away from Rachel. "Who knows," he called out, "You might just get the man of your dreams out of the deal." He winked and then disappeared around the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. This is my first fic, so I was pleasantly surprised by the response. This chapter is mostly about Rachel/Finn (with some Puck thrown in) and is from Rachel's perspective. I will return to Puck's point of view in the next chapter. Enjoy!**

Rachel sat in an empty practice room going over some new material that Mr. Schuester had given the group earlier in the day. Every other glee member had already gone home or had hurried off to some other after-school activity. Rachel had stayed behind because she liked the quiet of the room.

While her eyes remained glued to the sheets of paper in her hand, Rachel's mind was racing with a hundred thoughts—she wondered if this song was in the right key to properly showcase her talent, she wondered what her dads might be making for dinner, she also wondered if she could get a restraining order against that nerdy reporter from the school newspaper who kept asking for a pair of her underwear.

Most of her thoughts, however, were centered on Noah Puckerman.

When Puck had initially approached her with his plan to stage a fake relationship, Rachel had only promised to think about it because she was being polite. Yet hours later, she was actually considering his proposal for real. The only word that Rachel could come up with to describe Puck's demeanor near the end of their conversation was _sad._ Puck had seemed kind of sad and wistful when talking about Quinn's situation.

Rachel was no stranger to unconventional family dynamics, but she wondered what was in Puck's past to make him be so affected by his best friend's pregnant girlfriend.

Rachel shuffled the papers in her hand, and some slipped out onto the floor. She sighed and bent down to retrieve them. When she started to get up, she was met with the sight of white sneakers by the door. Rachel's gaze traveled from the sneakers up to a pair of long legs clad in jeans, and then to a broad chest covered in a blue t-shirt. Rachel's neck already had a slight crick in it, and she hadn't even gotten to the person's face. She only knew of one person who was so tall.

Finn.

It was Finn standing in the doorway. He looked tired, and he had some sticky white stuff above his right eye.

Rachel tried to remain calm. She stood all the way up and placed her sheet music on her chair.

"Hello Finn."

"Hey Rachel."

"What are you doing here? I thought you had football practice."

"I did, it just finished up. I didn't feel like going home, so I thought I'd come back here and see if anybody was still rehearsing."

Rachel had a hard time listening because she was trying to discern what the sticky stuff on Finn's face was. When she couldn't figure it out, she pointed to his brow and said, "Finn, you have some kind of white stuff above your eye."

"Oh that," Finn took a swipe at his face, "I kind of dozed off in the locker room after practice, and Kurt took the opportunity to try and wax my eyebrows. Thankfully, I woke up right after he applied the wax but before he could put on the adhesive strip."

Rachel clapped her hands in front of her mouth to try and hide a giggle.

"Go ahead and laugh, it is pretty funny. When I wanted Kurt to be our kicker, the other players on the team said no way in hell did they want him to be there. Yet, when Kurt wants to practice his beauty school techniques on my face, all the team members are surprisingly supportive."

Rachel's giggle grew into a full-fledged laugh, and Finn soon joined in.

Finn stopped laughing first and said to Rachel, "You should smile more. Your smile makes you look even more beautiful."

Rachel was flattered, but she knew she shouldn't show it. Instead, she said "Finn…" in a warning tone.

"I know, I know" Finn responded. "I shouldn't say that kind of stuff. I've just been so tired lately that I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth."

"You haven't been sleeping?" Rachel asked, now concerned.

"Not really. I've got so much stuff going on that my brain won't shut off at night and let me go to sleep. These past couple weeks have felt like one giant headache."

"Do you want some Tylenol? I might have some in my bag."

Rachel picked her backpack off the floor and started searching for the small bottle of pills she usually kept in there.

Rachel found the bottle and shook out two pills. She handed them to Finn along with the bottle of water left over from her lunch.

Finn took a swig of water and swallowed the medicine.

"Thanks Rachel. You wouldn't happen to have any decongestant in there would you?"

Rachel's face got somewhat stern, like she was about to give a lecture.

"Just kidding," Finn added quickly. "I won't ever touch the stuff again."

"Neither will I."

Finn's face grimaced as he experienced a spasm of pain in his head, and Rachel couldn't help but notice.

Rachel pointed to her chair. "Here Finn, sit down." He obeyed, and she continued, "When I have a headache, it sometimes helps if I massage the pressure points on my temples…like this."

Rachel stood behind Finn and placed her fingers on both sides of his head and began to massage his temples in a slow, circular motion.

Finn closed his eyes and gave in to Rachel's ministrations. After a few minutes he said, "That feels so good Rachel. This is the best I've felt all week. I don't know how I got myself into this mess."

Rachel continued to move her fingers, but she couldn't help but question his statement, "Come on Finn, you know exactly how you got yourself into this predicament. I knew the whole celibacy club thing was a waste of time. You should have protected yourself better."

"I would have if given the chance, believe me."

There were a lot of things that bothered Rachel, but on top of her pet peeves list were people who had no sense of responsibility. Rachel remembered seeing a story on the news once about a teenage boy who had gotten his fingers blown off after lighting a bottle rocket. The kid had genuinely seemed surprised that such a dangerous outcome was even possible—he had lit the rocket because he just wanted to have some fun.

If Finn had been more careful with his "rocket," then he could be having safe and well-protected fun with Rachel, but no, he had been thoughtless, and now they could never be together…

"Ow Rachel," Finn howled, "You're rubbing a little too hard."

"Was I?" Rachel asked innocently as she went back to a more gentle touch. Rachel had to get one more thing off her chest.

"What do you mean you would have been more careful if given a chance? How hard is it to carry some latex wrapped in foil in your wallet like almost every other guy in this school?"

Finn shifted in the chair, now uncomfortable. He started to mumble, and Rachel could only hear small snatches of words like, "safe distance…hot tub…ninja turtle swim trunks…happened so fast…mailman image didn't work…a sudden eruption…kind of ashamed…"

Rachel was pretty sure that she didn't want him to elaborate any further.

Finn opened his eyes, and Rachel moved her hands away from his head and dropped them down at her sides.

"Is your headache gone?" she asked.

"Yeah I think it is. You are amazing."

Finn stood up and faced Rachel. They both stood in awkward silence for a moment before Finn decided to break the tension.

"Look Rachel, I know that I made a mistake. I also know that this mistake is costing you too. I'm sorry. If I could change things, I would, but I can't."

"I know Finn." Rachel knew there was nothing else to say. She gathered her belongings and stuffed her sheet music in her backpack.

"I should get going."

"I'll walk you out. Hey, now that my headaches gone do you want to go out and get a pizza. You know, as friends."

Rachel shook her head in disbelief. Apparently, Finn really didn't get it. He still wanted to have it both ways, Quinn as a girlfriend and Rachel as a friend on the side who he could flirt with and compliment and make feel special…She had to put a stop to this right now.

"Sorry Finn, but I can't. I have plans tonight."

Finn's face fell as he said, "Who do you have plans with?"

"It doesn't matter," Rachel answered as she walked to the door

"It does to me."

"Well it shouldn't." Rachel walked out and left a very confused Finn standing alone in the middle of the room.

*******

Rachel sat on her bed contemplating the phone that was in her hands. After talking with Finn, Rachel could see that Puck did have a reason to be concerned. Rachel wanted to help Finn make up his mind, but she wasn't sure she could pretend to be Noah Puckerman's girlfriend. What would that really entail? Smoking? Perhaps. Drinking? Maybe. Committing Criminal Acts? More than likely.

Rachel looked up at the _Cabaret_ poster on her wall and thought—what would Liza Minnelli do in this situation?

She would put on a fabulous costume and get out there and perform, that's what she'd do.

"This will be my best and most challenging role ever," Rachel whispered to her bedroom walls.

With confident fingers, she dialed the number that she had looked up earlier on the Internet. After three rings, someone with a gruff voice picked up.

"What?" the voice said.

"Is this Puck?" Rachel asked now feeling a little nervous.

"Yes, who's this?"

"It's Rachel, Rachel Berry."

There was silence on the other end.

For a second, Rachel panicked and thought that she must have made up their conversation in her head.

She tried again. "You know, Rachel from school and glee club…"

Puck had been napping, and Rachel's high-pitched voice had damn near busted his eardrum when he answered the phone. Holding his cell a few inches from his ear, Puck finally answered, "I know who you are Rachel. How did you get my number?"

"Well, I _googled_ you."

Puck suppressed an outward laugh, but a smirk crept onto his face.

"How was it for you?" Puck asked.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Never mind. Why are you calling?"

"Well, I have decided to acquiesce to your wishes and embark on a fictional relationship in the hopes of easing Finn's mind and salvaging your friendship."

"Really?" Puck couldn't hide the surprise in his voice. He had hoped she would agree but wasn't counting on her acceptance so quickly.

Lowering his tone, Puck responded. "I mean, whatever, you know, that's cool."

"Okay. So when do you want to get together and discuss our plan of action?"

"Rachel, we don't need a plan of action. We just have to hang out together, and the dumb, gossip-whores at our school will take care of the rest. Before too long, Finn should confront either one or both of us."

"But what's my motivation? I need to have some lines memorized for any eventuality, like what to say to your friends or the other glee members if they ask about us. People are going to want to know how this came to be. You should also know up front that I have some ground rules about physical contact…"

"Listen Berry," Puck cut her off, "Meet me in the parking lot at school early tomorrow morning and we can talk about it then."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Have a pleasant evening."

"G'night. Sweet dreams…" of me, Puck added silently in his mind.

He hung up the phone and leaned back on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head. Puck had to admit that he was a little excited about tomorrow. He could almost picture the look of shock that would be on Quinn and Finn's faces when they saw him walking around school, arm-in-arm, with Rachel Berry.

"Yup," Puck thought, "Tomorrow is definitely going to be interesting. Let the fireworks begin."


	4. Chapter 4

"Rachel, we have been over this at least half a dozen times…"

"Yes I know. However, I just want to make sure that our lines of communication remain open. We are entering into something similar to a business deal, and I feel it's important to discuss the expectations and needs of each party…"

Puck leaned his head against the glass of the driver seat window and waited for the insanity to stop. Last night, Puck had been looking forward to this morning more than anything. Now, he wasn't sure what to feel. He had woken up at 5 am to the sounds of booming thunder and the sight of pouring rain. On top of the miserable weather, Puck had gotten to school half an hour early. He hated being early for anything because it was like announcing to the world that you had nothing else better to do

The most shocking sight of the morning had come in the form of Rachel Berry knocking on his car window wearing a neon yellow rain slicker with matching rain boots and a black skirt. Puck thought she looked like a damn bumblebee.

After getting into the passenger seat, Rachel had proceeded to tell Puck (multiple times) about the rules and guidelines she had developed for their pretend dates.

Initially, Puck had tried to be polite and pay attention, but Rachel liked going over every little detail. Puck decided that he definitely needed to up his caffeine intake if he was going to be seeing Rachel this early in the morning for the next couple weeks.

"Hey Rachel," Puck jumped in while she was still talking, "there's only one rule that we really need to remember…the Golden Rule. You know, do unto others as you would have done unto you." Puck thought the color gold would appeal to Rachel as a symbol of star potential.

Apparently not.

Rachel crossed her arms in front of her chest and huffed, "Nice try, but I don't think so."

"What's wrong with the Golden Rule, it got me through some rocky times during kindergarten."

"Well," Rachel replied, "According to your rule, I should throw a slushie in your face then to return the favor. It's only fair," she said while smiling sweetly.

Crap, Puck thought. He should have seen that one coming.

"Fine, we can go with your rules."

"Thank you. I thought you'd see it my way. Just so we are absolutely clear, could you please recite them to me once before the bell rings."

"Fine."

Puck cleared his throat and took in a deep breath before beginning to say the list.

"Be respectful and polite. Mind my manners. Follow proper dating etiquette. Keep the details of our relationship private. Do not flirt with any other girls. No dumbass nicknames for each other. Look into your eyes when I am speaking to you…not anywhere else," Puck ticked each rule off on his fingers.

"And in terms of physical contact…" Rachel prompted.

"We can hold hands down the hallway. Hugging is acceptable as long as my hands remain on your shoulders or back. When kissing, my tongue should remain in my own mouth or you will bite it off."

Puck stopped talking and rested his hands in his lap to signify that he was done playing a parrot by repeating Rachel's words.

"Puck, you forgot one very important rule."

Puck hadn't forgotten. He wanted to make Rachel squirm.

"I think I got them all. Wait, did I mention the one about hugging?"

"You know you mentioned the hugging," Rachel said between clenched teeth.

"Well, then I guess you are just going to have to refresh my memory." Puck said.

"I know you know," Rachel retorted.

"I do not."

"You do too."

"Do not."

"Well if you don't remember, then you have the mental capabilities of a carrot," Rachel hissed.

"What's up doc?" Puck said with a straight face.

Rachel stamped her foot on the floor of the car. "You are impossible. Fine the last rule is….I will not have sex with you!" Rachel opened the passenger door and got out of the car. Puck got out on his own side and met her in front of the bumper.

"Rachel, don't be mad. I was just kidding. You need to learn how to take a joke."

"I have a fantastic sense of humor," Rachel responded seriously.

"Of course you do," Puck said at a hurried pace. "Don't worry about what happened in the car. I will be the perfect fake boyfriend from now on. Besides, you're the last person I would ever want to sleep with at this school."

"Thanks," Rachel said sarcastically.

"Seriously, the absolute last. I would experiment with Kurt first before I ever tried anything with you."

Despite herself, Rachel let a tiny smile spread across her face.

While Puck and Rachel had been talking, the parking lot around them had rapidly been filling with cars. School was going to start in five minutes.

"You ready to do this thing?" Puck asked as he extended his hand to Rachel.

Rachel didn't trust her voice right then, so she nodded. She clasped Puck's hand, and they walked into the front doors as a couple.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************

Rachel was used to people staring at her at school because of her fashion choices or because of her participation in glee club. Rachel liked to tell herself that the gawkers were just jealous of her unique gifts and can-do attitude. She took their mockery and looks of disdain almost as a compliment considering her inevitable future success.

She was not, however, used to students looking at her with genuine curiosity.

As she and Puck made their way down the hallway, Rachel saw students point at them and then whisper to each other. Rachel kept a firm grip on Puck's hand as they traveled through the maze of bodies, and was glad that he did not make a comment about her currently sweaty palms. Although he would never say it aloud, Rachel knew that Puck was a little nervous too.

When they had almost reached Rachel's locker, the football coach tapped Puck on the shoulder and asked to speak to him for a minute. Puck agreed, but gave Rachel a look that said "I don't want to leave you." Rachel thought Puck's acting was believable so far.

Before she could change her mind, Rachel played her part perfectly and gave Puck a quick kiss on the cheek. He grinned at her before walking away.

Rachel went to her locker alone. Within ten seconds, she was surrounded by four of her fellow glee club members—Mercedes, Tina, Kurt, and Artie.

"Hey guys," Rachel said while trying to act casually, "I can't wait to get started on some of Mr. Schu's new choreography this afternoon."

"Forget glee club," Mercedes said. "We want to know how you and Puck happened to choreograph yourselves next to each other this morning."

"Yeah, w…wh…what's the deal?" Tina piped up.

"You guys saw that?" Rachel asked.

"Uh-huh," Kurt answered. "that type of PDA is hard to miss when you violate the high school caste system as grievously as you just did."

"I might as well tell you then that Puck and I are dating."

"Each other?" Artie squeaked. "Is he blackmailing you? Blink once if you can't say anything because you are under distress right now."

Mercedes pounded her fist into her hand, "Just say the word, and I will take care of him for you."

"Guys stop. Puck is not blackmailing me. The simple truth is that he's my…boyfriend." Rachel struggled to get the last word out because it felt so foreign on her tongue.

"H-h-how did that happen?" Tina said giving voice to the question that everybody had in mind.

Before school, Rachel and Puck had decided that the best way to answer this question was to be purposefully vague.

"I've been helping Puck rehearse and we've gotten closer lately. He may have the rough exterior of a delinquent, but he can be really sweet on the inside once you get to know him…and the heart wants what it wants" Rachel finished kind of lamely.

The group thought about her statement for a moment before speaking all at once,

"She's been brainwashed" Artie decided.

"An alien abduction per-perhaps" Tina offered.

"She must be on crack," Mercedes concluded. "You know that stuff can make you crazy."

"Hold it people, let's not judge Rachel too harshly. Puck is not without certain physical charms. Heck, if he wanted to join team rainbow for the day, I would totally hit that. Maybe Rachel is going through a lustful stage right now and just needs to get it out of her system. Bad boys can be hard to resist."

"Thank you Kurt, I think." Rachel addressed the rest of the group, "I have not been brainwashed or abducted and I am not on crack. I am fine, but thank you for your concern."

"Concern about what?" a voice said behind Rachel. In the heat of their discussion, no one in the group had seen or heard Puck's approach.

All the glee club members jumped a bit in surprise.

Artie tried to smooth over the situation by saying, "Concern over the swine flu epidemic. We were all just saying that we need to be really careful and wash our hands."

"Oh," Puck said in a disbelieving tone.

"Anyways, we should get going," Mercedes said. Tina grabbed the back of Artie's chair and started pushing him down the hallway. Kurt added a "Toodles" as he and Mercedes also left in a hurry.

"Do I know how to clear a room or what?" Puck joked.

"I'm surprised they didn't congratulate us on our happy news."

"You told them about us?"

"I didn't have to, they saw for themselves."

"Were they horrified? Did they think you were crazy?"

"There were mixed reviews, but this performance is just getting started."

"Did anyone say anything interesting about me?" Puck wanted to know.

"Well," Rachel tapped Puck lightly on the chest, "Let's just say that when this is over, you may get your shot with Kurt after all."

Remembering back to their conversation in the parking lot, Puck couldn't help but laugh.

"So are you doing okay so far?" Puck asked.

"Yeah, it's not as bad as I thought."

Over Rachel's shoulder, Puck spotted a Cheerios uniform and a flash of blonde hair. It was Quinn. Finn, of course, was standing right by her side. Quinn and Finn were going to be walking by Rachel and Puck within the next thirty seconds.

No more dress rehearsal. It was show-time.

"They're coming," Puck informed Rachel, "You know what this means?"

Rachel felt a large lump forming in the back of her throat because she knew _exactly_ what this meant.

Puck stepped closer to Rachel until there was only a mere two inches between them.

Rachel's mind was racing like crazy. She knew it was too late to back out now, and strangely, she didn't want to. Her heart was beating wildly, and she briefly wondered if Puck could hear it too.

Puck bent his head lower.

Then lower.

Until his nose was practically touching Rachel's.

Rachel froze. She forgot all about the plan. She had no idea why she was standing in this particular hallway at this particular moment. She felt like a statue.

"Puck," she whispered.

"What?" he whispered back.

"I forgot what I'm supposed to do."

Puck took his hand and gently brushed a piece of stray hair away from Rachel's face.

"It's easy Rachel," he said while letting his hand cup her chin.

"What's easy?"

"All you have to do is… Pucker Up."

He demonstrated.

Rachel thought that he was right.

It did look easy.

So she followed his lead.


	5. Chapter 5

Rachel Berry was kissing Noah Puckerman.

On the lips.

In the hallway at school.

In front of several classmates.

If Rachel wasn't one of the two people doing the kissing, she might not believe this weird twist of fate herself.

Before school, Rachel and Puck had agreed that kissing was going to be a necessary part of their plan. Pretending to be hormone-crazed teenagers who were suddenly hot for each other could help provide a plausible explanation for their relationship. Besides, Quinn and Finn were not going to be jealous unless they saw some real action.

Admittedly, Rachel froze when Puck announced that Finn and Quinn were walking towards them. Saying you were going to kiss the school's resident bad-boy was different than actually doing it.

Rachel's lips weren't frozen now. As far as stage kisses went, Rachel thought that this one was acceptable. Puck was abiding to the no tongue rule so the kiss wasn't too wet. Puck expertly knew how to angle his head and open his mouth an appropriate amount, probably from years of practice Rachel surmised. Since Rachel's eyes were closed, she had no idea where Finn and Quinn were. She was very anxious to see their reactions, but waited for Puck to make the next move.

*******

Puck could practically feel Rachel thinking through her lips. Her movements seemed stiff and somewhat planned out. Puck imagined that Rachel's thoughts included something like— kiss for three seconds and then turn head 45 degrees to the right.

When kissing, Puck liked to move based on instinct. So far, he hadn't had any complaints about his technique. While Rachel wasn't his first choice of partners, Puck thought he could teach her a thing or two about making out. He grabbed both sides of her face so that she couldn't turn her head every five seconds. He opened his mouth and pushed at Rachel's bottom lip until she opened hers a bit too.

Much better.

Puck decided that kissing Rachel Berry wasn't so bad. Besides, anything that got her to stop talking for a few minutes was a good thing.

Puck opened his eyes a bit to see if their intended targets had witnessed him kissing Rachel. He saw Quinn and Finn standing a little ways away with their mouths hanging open. Puck was pleased and pulled Rachel even closer.

********

Finn was confused. He couldn't believe that he was seeing Puck kiss Rachel, his Rachel, in the hallway. At first, he thought that it must be some kind of trick of light or that maybe Puck was performing a life-saving procedure. But those moves didn't look like anything that was taught in the CPR section of health class. If anything, Puck was stealing Rachel's air…not giving her some.

Finn didn't know what was going on, but he did know one thing…Puck was dead meat.

********

That little freak, Quinn thought to herself when she saw Rachel sucking face with Puck.

It was bad enough that Rachel openly admitted to having feelings for Finn—the supposed father of Quinn's baby, but now she was going after Puck—the real father of her baby.

Quinn knew that Rachel wasn't aware of that slight genetic detail, but Puck certainly was.

Quinn was furious with Puck. How dare he! It was bad enough that he got her pregnant, but now he was hooking up with Rachel when he knew how Quinn felt about her.

Not to be outdone, Quinn grabbed Finn's arm and pulled him toward the lockers a few feet behind the Rachel and Puck puke-fest.

"What are you doing?" Finn asked.

"I want you to kiss me."

"Right here?"

"Shut up and do it."

Before Finn could respond, Quinn reached up and pulled Finn's face down on top of hers. She started moaning, so as to give the impression that this was the best kiss she had ever gotten.

That'll show them, she thought as she continued to maul Finn.

********

Rachel's eyes had remained closed until she heard what sounded like a cat attacking someone. Turns out, it was just Quinn attacking Finn with her face.

Rachel was disgusted. That Quinn was a real piece of work.

Rachel was not going to have her performance upstaged by the likes of her. She had to throw the rulebook out the window.

Rachel broke off her kiss with Puck and whispered urgently, "Grab my ass."

"What?" Puck thought for sure that he needed to get his hearing checked.

Rachel nodded to the couple that was making out behind them.

"I am not going to let her win, so I want you to grab my ass. While you're at it, you can stick your tongue in my mouth."

Puck hesitated, somehow convinced that this was a trick.

"Just this once, you can forget about our prior agreement. Do it!" Rachel commanded.

Puck felt like he was in an episode of the _Twilight Zone_. But he was a teenage boy after all…

He mashed his face against Rachel's and promptly inserted his tongue. He wrapped his arms around her, and let his hands drift lower, to the middle of her back, and then to the small of her back, and then…

TWEET!!!!!!!!

All four teens jumped apart when they heard a short, loud blast of a whistle.

Sue Sylvester was standing behind both couples with a whistle hanging out of her mouth. She grabbed the whistle with one hand while giving the kids a look of utter disgust.

"Hey children, this is a place of learning not fornicating."

The other students in the hallway quickly moved away so that Puck, Rachel, Finn, and Quinn had no one else to take the attention off of them.

"This behavior is deplorable and physically sickening. I feel my stomach churning with revulsion, and that t-bone steak I had for breakfast."

Sue paced the hallway while saying, "I don't blame you completely. It's a failure of public school education really. When I was in high school, almost ten years ago, I was learning about geography and sewing. After school, I had chores to do…like feeding the chickens or milking the cows. I didn't have any free-time to get myself into trouble. There was no television or rap music, so in the evenings I amused myself by whittling small woodland creatures with a sharp knife and then making them fight each other."

Sue inched closer to the students who reflexively tried to inch back.

"You kids today have it so hard."

"Always struggling to find and express yourselves through crazy clothing or hairstyles." Sue gestured to Puck, "I mean look at you. You look like you had a fight with a lawn mower and lost." Puck rubbed his hand over his head, and had a slight hurt look on his face.

Sue moved on to Finn. "And look at you, it must be tough going through the day with an undiagnosed mental deficiency. Make sure you wear a helmet during every football game, I'm not sure how many more of those brain cells you can afford to lose."

"And you Q, or should I say teenage mommy. It must be hard being just another small town statistic. So much wasted potential."

Sue walked over to Rachel, and looked her up and down. She took in her yellow rain boots, her white ruffled top, and plaid skirt, and said, "I don't even know what to say, it must be hard waking up to this every morning."

Sue stepped back.

"I feel for you children, I really do. But that does not mean that I can idly sit by and watch while you infest these hallways with stds."

Sue nodded to Puck and Finn, "What class do you have first period?"

"I usually spend first period with the nurse." Puck said.

"I knew she was a slut," Sue muttered.

"I have Spanish with Mr. Schu," Finn responded.

"Oh good, I was afraid you might have a real class. Because of your behavior, I want you boys to give me ten laps on the track right now."

"But it's raining outside," Puck argued.

"Then I suggest you run quickly. Maybe if you move fast enough, you can dart between the raindrops." Sue laughed to herself. "I myself like walking in the rain…it invigorates the soul and the pores…keeps me young looking."

Puck and Finn shared a look that suggested they couldn't believe this was really happening.

"I said move. Move! Move! Move!" Sue brought the whistle back to her lips and blew short blasts until both boys ran towards the doors.

"As for you ladies, I think some time spent in afternoon detention will help you learn more about self respect. I've been engaged in a love quadrangle myself a time or two."

Sue leaned close and whispered, "Let me give you girls some advice. Boys won't buy the cow if you give them the milk for free. I know, I used to work on a dairy farm."

Rachel and Quinn scurried away, going in opposite directions down the hallway.

Sue took in a deep breath and said, " I love the smell of discipline in the morning."


	6. Chapter 6

More than anything, Puck wished he had a freshman in front of him to beat-up on; a scrawny one that he could stuff in a locker, or a big one that he could use as a target for paintball practice.

Puck wanted to punch something.

At this moment, he was running around a soggy track in the pouring rain with freakin' boots on. Not to mention the fact that Finn was running a few feet behind him.

At any other school, Puck thought, this punishment would be considered cruel and unusual. However, the words "cruel and unusual" fit Sue Sylvester perfectly. Puck would have blown off the running, but it was a widely known fact that Sue had spies everywhere at school. It was also believed that she had strategically placed listening devices throughout the building. Puck himself avoided the drinking fountain near her office because it made a static sound anytime anyone walked by.

Puck completed his first lap and dismally realized that he still had nine more to go.

Silent until this point, Finn finished his own lap and pulled up next to Puck. He huffed in an accusatory tone, "This is your fault."

Puck kept a fast pace, but shouted through the rain, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Finn increased his speed to catch up and said, "We both got busted for making out in the hallway, and you were kissing Rachel first."

"What are you twelve? I didn't force you to do anything. I was minding my own damn business when Ms. Sylvester showed up."

"Well, if you hadn't been with Rachel then Quinn wouldn't have gotten pissed and retaliated. You know how Quinn feels about Rachel."

"I'm not Dr. Phil; I don't generally pay attention to people's feelings or emotions. Quit whining like a girl, you're embarrassing all males everywhere." Puck said.

Finn unsuccessfully tried to wipe the rain out of his eyes as both guys finished their second lap. He paused a few seconds before saying, "Fine, it's not your fault we got caught but why were you with Rachel to begin with?"

Puck smirked. He and Rachel had just started "dating" and Finn was already jealous.

He shrugged his shoulders before answering, "Rachel and I have been hanging out."

"Hanging out or hooking up?" Finn asked with force in his voice.

"What difference does that make? You're with Quinn. You worry about your girlfriend and I'll worry about mine."

"Oh, so now she's your girlfriend. Next you're going to tell me that my wedding invitation is in the mail."

"It is," Puck joked, "and we'd like it if you bought us a toaster."

Finn was not amused..

Puck slowed to a jog as they crossed the finish line for a third time and said, "Seriously dude, stop being so pissy. Is it your time of the month?"

"This isn't funny," Finn shouted. "Just answer my question."

Since Puck could practically see steam pouring out of Finn's ears, he decided to oblige.

"I just started seeing Rachel, so no, I haven't tapped that yet."

Finn let out an audible sigh of relief, "That's good."

"Fan-freakin-tastic," Puck muttered.

The rain started to let up as Finn crossed his hands in the air as if to signal a time-out. He stopped running and Puck followed suit.

Finn took in some deep breaths, and then said, "Sorry I got weird man. It's just that, I sorta liked Rachel before this whole thing with Quinn happened and I don't think of her as being your type."

"What's my type?" Puck couldn't wait to hear the answer to this question.

Finn stared at his feet to avoid eye contact, "You know, cheerleaders like Santana, or hot moms, or people like April."

Puck was annoyed and lashed out, "Well at least you know I'll never date your mom."

"Are you saying my mom's not good enough for you because she's not hot?" Finn wanted to know.

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Well sure she's not magazine attractive, but she's lived a hard life. My stepfather left, and she's had to take care of me all by herself. So what if she likes flannel, and she wears jeans that make it look like she has a butt in both the front and the back…" Finn rambled.

Puck rolled his eyes but tried to make Finn feel better by saying, "Dude, I was just kidding. I would totally do your mom."

"You would?"

"Yeah man, she may lack a certain outer beauty, but inside she's wicked feisty. I like my women feisty."

"She is feisty," Finn echoed.

"Yeah she is," Puck assured him while inwardly thinking that this moment deserved the award for the most awkward conversation ever.

'Thanks," Finn sniffed. "I'm just going through some stuff right now."

"How's Quinn doing?" Puck tried to keep his voice from sounding too anxious or eager.

"She's alright."

Puck couldn't prevent the following words from practically leaping out of his mouth, "And how's the baby."

Finn smiled, "Great. It's a girl. Can you believe I'm going to have a daughter?"

"Wow." Puck felt like he had been punched in the gut. Quinn was having a baby girl. He had pictured himself throwing a ball around with his kid, but he had never imagined playing dolls or having tea parties. Not that his daughter couldn't be into sports if she wanted to.

"Does Quinn know what she wants to do yet?" Puck dreaded the answer.

"She wants the baby to be adopted," Finn said with hesitation.

"Is that what you want?" Puck asked.

"I don't know. Quinn says we're too young to raise a kid, and I kind of agree with her, but apparently I don't get to have an opinion either way."

"You could help her change her mind. Get a job, make some money, and show her that you can be responsible."

Puck knew that Quinn didn't trust him to take care of her and the kid. If Puck could get Finn to man up, then maybe Quinn would rethink her decision before handing the baby off to complete strangers.

"I would get a job, but I'm so busy with school, and football, and glee..."

Puck was angry, "I do all those things, and I still manage to hold a job. You can too."

Puck and Finn's conversation was interrupted when Ken Tanaka rode up on a golf cart.

"Hey gentlemen, sorry to intrude upon your bromance, but you two should not be out here."

"Hey coach," Finn said, "Ms. Sylvester told us to run ten laps."

"The last thing our team needs is for you to get injured because you were running around in the rain without proper athletic equipment on. I'll talk to Sue. Get your butts inside."

"Thanks coach," Puck and Finn said with relief.

"Oh boys, make sure you dry your shoes really well when you get in there. The last thing you want is to develop a bad case of athlete's foot." Ken shuddered as he remembered a past horror, and drove away muttering something about sensitive toenails.

As they were walking inside, Puck said to Finn, "Don't forget to think about what I said."

"I won't," Finn promised. "But I want you to take things slow with Rachel. She's so talented and really cool. I don't want her to get hurt."

Puck slapped Finn on the back, "Don't worry man, Rachel can take care of herself."

"One more thing," Finn added, "If you ever have sex with my mom, I will rip your face off and flush it down the toilet."

Puck nodded his understanding before walking toward the nurses' office for his daily nap.

*********

Rachel sat in detention staring at the clock and silently begging the minutes to go by faster. Quinn, who was sitting at the desk next to Rachel's, was also eagerly waiting for the hell known as detention to be over. The teacher supposed to be monitoring the room was currently playing games on her Blackberry so Quinn felt comfortable enough to lean over and whisper to Rachel, "I see right through you."

"Pardon me?" Rachel was not in the mood to get into a fight, but she would bring it if she had to.

"I just wanted to let you know that you were not fooling anyone in the hallway this morning. You were only kissing Puck to make Finn jealous."

Rachel tossed her hair over her shoulder and said, "Sorry to disappoint you, but Noah and I have formed a connection."

Quinn scoffed, "Yeah right, you still have _R hearts F_ written all over your notebook."

Rachel casually tried to slide the offending notebook to the opposite side of her desk and out of Quinn's sightline. "I'm not denying that I had a slight crush on Finn before, but I've moved on to Noah."

"You don't actually call him Noah do you?"

"Sometimes, that is his name."

"Whatever. I still don't believe that you'd go out with a guy who throws slushies in your face because you've suddenly developed a 'deep connection.' What do you even have in common?"

Rachel wracked her brain to remember some of the facts that she and Puck had discussed in the car. "Well, we're both Jewish, we both like to exercise, and we're both talented. I was skeptical at first, but Puck plays the guitar very well and his voice is lovely. Not to mention the fact that we are physically compatible."

Quinn had to concede that point, Puck did have a nice singing voice and he looked great holding a guitar. She did want clarification on one thing though, "By physically compatible you mean…"

Rachel lowered her voice, "He's a good kisser and he's nice to look at. It's as simple as that."

"Fine, he's a stud but he's also a Neanderthal like most of the other guys here at school."

"He seems that way on the surface, but once you get underneath all that, Puck can be caring and sensitive." Rachel thought the sincere delivery of these lines were almost Oscar-worthy.

Quinn couldn't believe her ears. No way could Rachel Berry be describing the Puck that she knew—the Puck who had taken advantage of her and had ruined her life. Quinn tried to reason with Rachel one more time, "Puck's a loser; a townie that's never going to amount to anything."

Rachel thought carefully before she made the following statement, "I think you more than anyone else would try not to judge people based on appearance, rumors, or past mistakes. I certainly don't think what's being said about you in the halls is one hundred percent true, and I would never pretend to know exactly who you are or what you're going through."

Quinn didn't know how to respond.

"The same goes for Puck, I don't know what's happened in his past, but I'm willing to give him a chance," Rachel continued. "Everybody deserves a chance to have what they want in life, even you Quinn."

The bell finally rang, signaling the end of detention. While every student started packing up, Quinn remained sitting in her seat. She hated when Rachel was civil to her, it made it much harder for Quinn to be mean.

As Rachel exited the room, Quinn couldn't help but try to process what she had said. The one thought that repeated in Quinn's mind was that Rachel couldn't be right about Puck, she just couldn't be because that would make Quinn wrong--terribly wrong. Then everything she had done until this point to protect her secret would have been for nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Five...six…and a five, six, seven, eight…step and turn, step and turn, grapevine to the right, hop, shuffle to the left, pivot, pivot, jazz-hands…STOP!

Mr. Schuester ceased shouting instructions and surveyed the damage that his new choreography had wrought.

Tina was hopping on one foot because Artie had accidentally run her over with his chair. Finn, Santana, and Britney were in a heap on the floor because Finn had mixed up his rights and lefts (again). Kurt was in a shouting match with Mercedes because he accused her of purposefully blocking his light. Rachel and Puck were ignoring the carnage and suspiciously smiling at one another while Quinn looked on in disgust.

Mr. Schuester tried to re-establish some semblance of order. He helped pick Finn and the girls up off the floor and separated Kurt and Mercedes from their diva-off before returning to the front of the practice room.

"Guys, we really need to concentrate on this. It's crunch-time. I know it seems like we've been rehearsing for sectionals forever, but it is coming up sooner than you think."

"We still aren't sure of what songs we will even be singing at sectionals," Kurt pointed out.

"Yeah," Mercedes added, "We just keep changing our songs week after week after week…"

"We're not just changing our songs, we're expanding our repertoire. But, I do get your point," Mr. Schu said as he held up his hands in mock defeat.

"I think it's kind of cool," Finn chimed in, "it's like we're in one of those spy movies and our set-list is like the classified information that has to be kept out of enemy hands until it can be revealed and cause a commotion at some huge government convention—or in our case, sectionals."

"You don't, by any chance, hear voices in your head do you?" Artie asked half-kidding.

Finn shrugged. "Only when I forget to take my ear-buds out."

"Dumbass," Puck muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

Mr. Schu cleared his throat. "Well you're in luck because today I am prepared to share the songs that I have selected for sectionals. Finn, would you do the honors?" He gestured to the drum set. Finn sat down and started a drum-roll.

"And…the finalized list of songs we will be singing at sectionals includes…"

KNOCK, KNOCK

A sophomore who volunteered with the front office poked her head in the room and said, "Sorry to bother you, but the principal is requesting a meeting with you immediately."

"Do you know what this is regarding? We're really busy."

"He said something about a sick janitor and needing a cheap replacement…"

Mr. Schu stopped her, "Thanks, I will go see him right now." He grabbed his bag and said, "Sorry guys, I guess the announcement will have to wait until next rehearsal. Don't forget to practice the choreography."

Mr. Schuester left the room and the students began to gather their belongings.

Rachel grabbed the plate wrapped in aluminum foil that was next to her bag and walked toward the front, "Before you leave, would anyone like a cookie? I made them last night."

The plate contained red and pink sugar cookies in the shape of hearts.

Most of the glee kids grabbed a cookie and sat around munching. Kurt abstained from the dessert by saying, "A moment on the lips is worth a year on the hips."

"These are good Rachel. What'd you make them for?" Mercedes asked.

"It's my one-week anniversary with Puck, and I just wanted to celebrate a little. He said that he doesn't mind sharing."

Puck had been surprised when Rachel had showed up at his locker that morning with the cookies. Although the idea of anything so cutesy usually made Puck want to punch a puppy, he had appreciated her thought and effort even if he didn't really want to eat the cookies himself.

"Why don't you have one Puck, looks like Rachel worked hard," Finn said. Rachel practically beamed at him for standing up for her.

"I have a hard time eating a cookie that's in the shape of a human organ, it's just not natural," Puck stated. "You don't see people making cookies that look like kidneys or livers."

"It's okay," Rachel assured him. She offered the plate to Quinn, who was seated a little off to the side, "Would you like one?"

Quinn's stomach felt okay, but she didn't want to take too big of a chance so she said, "I'll just take a half." She took a large red one and split it down the middle.

"You're good at that," Puck observed quietly.

Quinn shot him a puzzled look.

He gestured to the cookie piece that was in her hand, "You know, breaking hearts."

Now Puck wanted to punch himself in the face for being such an obvious moron.

Quinn and Puck stared silently at each other for a good twenty seconds. They barely noticed as the other students finished their cookies and started to leave.

Soon, Rachel, Puck, Quinn, and Finn were the only ones left.

Puck snapped out his trance and went to stand next to Rachel. Quinn's eyes followed him.

Finn got up and said, "I guess I should go too. I have a tutoring session in the library."

"What subject are you being tutored in?" Rachel asked.

"Just English and math and history and junk…"

"Oh." Rachel couldn't help but think that was an awful lot of subjects. "Well, good luck."

"Thanks." Finn called over to Quinn, "I'll call you later tonight."

Quinn smiled and Finn exited.

"I also have to get home," Rachel announced. She re-wrapped the plate of cookies with the foil and went to put them in her bag when Puck grabbed her arm.

"Don't. I'll take the stupid cookies."

Rachel was surprised. "You will?"

"Yeah. My mom and brat of a sister will like them." He pulled her close, "Besides, you made them for me."

Puck took advantage of Quinn watching him and bent to kiss Rachel on the lips. It wasn't like their kiss in the hallway—that had been intense—but it was nice and comfortable. Rachel was much improved, and lately she had been wearing strawberry-flavored lip gloss which Puck thought tasted kind of good.

Acting reluctant, Puck finally pulled away. "Do you want to do something tonight?" he asked.

Rachel answered honestly. "I'd like to, but I have a lot of work to do. I have to write an English paper, and I haven't uploaded a new myspace video in ages."

Puck pouted and made some whimpering noises.

Rachel couldn't help but be amused. Puck was a good actor. If Rachel hadn't known about the plan, then she might be convinced that Puck actually wanted to hang out with her for real.

"What if you work really hard and get everything done quickly?" Puck almost pleaded.

"Okay. I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."

Puck gave Rachel a quick peck on the lips which was meant to be taken as added incentive, "Try hard," he said.

Rachel smiled and walked out of the room leaving Puck and Quinn alone.

"Things look like they're going well between you two," Quinn spoke up.

"They are."

"Before Rachel and I had detention together, I would have sworn that you were only dating her to mess with my head or Finn's."

Puck tried to look disinterested on the outside even though his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

"What made you change your mind?" Puck asked.

"Rachel did. She said that deep down you're a good person. She even said that you could be sweet and caring. From what I just witnessed in here, I guess that's true."

Puck owed Rachel big for saying all that crap about him.

"I have to know one thing though; do you really let her call you Noah?"

Puck had been meaning to talk to Rachel about that. He only really tolerated when his mom called him Noah. He liked the nickname Puck because it sounded more bad-ass.

"Well," Puck laughed, "there are worse things that she could call me."

"Like a loser?" Quinn asked.

Puck remembered how bad that had stung when Quinn had practically spat that word at him when he confronted her in the hallway the day he found out she was pregnant.

"I'm sorry I said that to you. I was just freaking out that day and you were there." Quinn sounded sincere.

Hearing her apologize was nice. "No problem," Puck responded relieved that she didn't hate him.

"It looks like it worked out anyway. I have Finn and you have Rachel although I'm still not sure what you and Finn see in her."

"She is high-maintenance," Puck acknowledged, "and she talks so much sometimes that I've thought about buying earplugs or duct tape for her mouth."

Quinn giggled.

Puck thought a bit. "I guess what I like about her is that she's real. She's blunt; she'll tell you what she thinks even when you don't want to hear it. She's also crazy talented, but she worked hard to get that way. And just look at her…" Puck trailed off.

"She is pretty," Quinn begrudgingly said.

"Why are you suddenly being so nice to Rachel? I thought you hated her." Puck said with suspicion. This whole conversation was weird as hell he thought.

"Rachel's still not my favorite person, but I've got bigger things to worry about. Besides, I'm tired of fighting. Since I'm no longer a Cheerio, glee club is kind of all I have left. I want you, me, Finn, and Rachel to all get along."

Puck wasn't sure he believed her.

Quinn's face suddenly lit up like she had a great idea. She jumped up from her chair, "You know what we should do, we should go out on a double date, the four of us."

Puck thought that hormones must be messing with Quinn's brain. "Are you crazy?" he blurted out.

Quinn clapped her hands, "It'll be perfect, we can go have dinner and just get everything out in the open."

Puck raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, not everything," Quinn quickly amended, "I still want to keep our secret, but we should learn how to get along. You're Finn's best friend and Rachel's boyfriend, and my…friend" Quinn settled on that word for now, "so we're going to be in each other's lives."

Puck hesitated. "Are you sure you want to do this?

Quinn nodded her head in affirmation, "I'm positive."

Puck couldn't believe this was happening but he decided what could be more fun then dinner with his fake girlfriend and the mother of his child.

"If you're positive, then I'm H.I.V positive," Puck said to assure Quinn he was serious.

"Great. I'll tell Finn."

"And I'll tell Rachel."

Puck looked at his watch and remembered that his mom wanted him to stop and pick up chips and dip before he got home.

"I've gotta get going," Puck said.

He was almost at the door before he recalled something that Finn had told him when they were running on the track last week.

"Hey Quinn," he called.

"Yeah?"

"Finn told me the baby's a girl."

"It is a girl," Quinn whispered half afraid to hear what he was going to say next. Most guys would probably prefer to have a son.

"I hope she looks like you." Puck said it like he meant it because he did.

With that comment, Puck turned around and walked out of the room. If he had looked back, he would have seen Quinn place her face in her hands and start to cry.


	8. Chapter 8

Awkward.

That was the only word that Puck could come up with to accurately describe the atmosphere of his double date at the local teen hangout—the _Burger Barn and Bowl-a-Rama_.

Actually, he could think of a couple of other words that would also fit nicely: strange, odd, bizarro, unusual, peculiar, and freakin' weird.

Puck settled on the word uncomfortable. His sitting next to Rachel Berry and across from Finn and Quinn reminded him of the anxious feeling that he got when waiting to get a physical at his doctor's office. Inevitably, the dreaded moment would arrive when the doctor entered the exam room and ordered him to take off his pants. Whenever that happened, Puck always wanted to shout, "You take your pants off first; then see what it feels like having someone stare at your junk!"

Unfortunately, Puck thought, no one was taking their clothes off at this particular moment. If that happened, he might be more entertained.

As it was, Rachel and Quinn were trying too hard to talk and Finn wasn't trying at all.

Going to the _Burger Barn and Bowl-a-Rama_ had been a strategic move on Puck and Rachel's part. Rachel mentioned to Puck that she and Finn shared some history in bowling alleys that could be used to their advantage (Puck was unclear as to what the hell that meant). Puck had just wanted to go to a place where the food was cheap and greasy and the background was noisy.

He had gotten his wish, but the loud sound of bowling balls striking pins was giving Puck a headache. Speaking of headaches, Puck looked over to Rachel who was currently telling Quinn and Finn about her entrance into show-biz.

"…so anyways, my dads have both said that once I had my training pants off, I hit the ground running…and here I am today." Rachel said.

Puck took a sip of his soda. "Fascinating," he deadpanned.

Rachel sighed because she could see Puck's disinterest. Since she prided herself on being a fantastic conversationalist and also good at improvisation, she changed the subject.

"So Quinn, what's it like not being a Cheerio anymore? Do you miss it?"

Quinn was slouching in the booth absently stirring the ice in her lemonade. She was currently wondering what had possessed her to suggest this group outing. She must have been out of her mind, she didn't want Finn anywhere near Rachel and she certainly didn't want to be sitting across the table from Puck where she had no choice but to look into those deep eyes of his. If she was being truthful, Quinn had wanted to go on this double-date to fully assess the situation. She had to know if Rachel and Puck were actually serious about each other and if Finn had any lingering feelings for Rachel.

Quinn shook her head to clear her thoughts and try to answer Rachel's question even though now all she could see was Puck's arm casually draped around Rachel's shoulders. He better not try to grab some boob while I'm sitting right here Quinn thought.

"I do miss it a little. The routines were hard but it always felt great once we nailed them."

"I bet you don't miss Ms. Sylvester threatening you all the time thought," Finn said while polishing off his second plate of French fries with ketchup.

"She was actually always kind of nice to me until I became this huge disappointment." Quinn cast her eyes downward.

Puck hated to see Quinn look that way, embarrassed and ashamed. He was the one that had put that look in her eyes.

"Screw her," Puck said in a deep tone.

Quinn looked up with an expression that seemed grateful.

"Yeah, who needs her." Finn added. "I bet she knows nothing about babies. I can't even picture her being a little kid. Maybe she's a changeling. I saw this movie the other day where a human baby was snatched in the middle of the night and replaced with this ugly, little gremlin looking thing that was green and it wouldn't stop drooling…"

Quinn placed her arm on Finns to get him to stop.

"I'm just saying I think she's a demon." Finn muttered softly to himself, "She's evil."

A waitress came by and dropped off the check. Puck reached for it and glanced at the total. He pulled a twenty out his wallet and said, "This will cover me and Rachel."

Rachel grabbed some singles out of her own bag, "I've got the tip."

Finn reached into his pockets, dug around for a while, and pulled out a crumpled five dollar bill. He looked sheepish and said, "This is all I got. I must have left my wallet in another pair of pants."

Quinn went to grab for her bag, but Puck shook his head, "I got this." He took a few more bills from his wallet which was now looking a lot less empty. It was going to take him a long time to earn some more money, but it was worth it.

"I'll pay you back man, I swear." Finn sounded angry at himself.

"Whatever dude, just forget it," Puck assured him.

"Well, bowling is on me," Rachel stated.

Puck started to refuse, but Rachel shushed him saying something about paying attention to equal rights and abhorring blatant displays of sexism.

"Okay," Puck sighed, "Let's bowl."

********

Puck watched Rachel grab an eight-pound neon green ball and approach the lane with slow movements. To Puck, Rachel seemed a little unsure of herself, which was unusual for her.

Finn was still putting on his shoes, but he called from his seat, "Do it just like I showed you Rachel."

Since Puck's mind was almost always in the gutter, he couldn't help but think that Finn's advice was a thinly veiled reference to some sexual position. Puck definitely did not want to think of Finn and Rachel gettin' it on.

Rachel threw the ball with little force, and it did not reach the pins.

"Harder, Rachel!" Finn called.

That's it, Puck thought. Rachel was_ his_ pretend girlfriend. He was going to be the one to help her.

Puck approached Rachel and placed his arms around her. He showed her how to pull her arm back and keep it straight. He also showed her the best angle at which to release the ball. She mimicked his actions before telling him to step back so she could throw.

"You got this Rachel," Puck said.

She nodded, took a deep breath, and let the ball go.

"I knocked down five pins!" Rachel squealed.

"Not bad," Puck smiled.

"I guess you're only as good as your teacher Rachel," Finn said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Puck asked.

"Nothing," Finn muttered. "It's just that everyone knows you're not the best bowler. Your temper gets in the way."

"It doesn't matter guys, it's just a game," Quinn said trying to keep the peace.

Instead of saying anything, Puck decided to let his bowling do the talking. He picked up a ten-pound blue ball and threw it as hard as he could.

CRASH!!!

The ball flew through the air, over the barrier, into the lane adjacent to theirs, and knocked all the pins over.

The bowlers next to them glared at Puck while Finn started howling with laughter.

Puck slunk back to the seats. "Shut-up. At least I got a strike."

"Yeah," Finn gasped between laughs, "but not in our lane." Finn held onto his stomach, "the best part is that it never even touched the ground; it's like you were trying to throw a curveball."

Puck chose to believe that this outcome just proved that he was an excellent bowler; any idiot could knock over the pins in their own lane. He had just upped the level of difficulty.

Finn's laughter finally began to subside.

"It's your turn Finn," Quinn said. "What name do you want me to put into the computer for you?

Rachel had chosen _#1Star _and Puck had gone with the ever-tasteful _Puke._

"Just put my regular name," Finn said while standing up.

"That's no fun," Rachel responded.

Puck decided to mess with his best bud a little.

"Come on man, why don't you just pick one of the names that you use when we play with the guys on the team."

Finn's eyes narrowed. "No, I'm good."

Puck scratched his head and pretended to think.

"What's that name you liked that one time? Oh I remember…Waxed balls."

Finn remained silent.

"Don't like that one, how about…Ball buffer."

Finn's nostrils flared.

"You don't like that one either?"

Puck ticked the following names off:

"Finger-hole."

"Hard wood."

"Narrow shaft."

"Bump-her."

"Pin-sucker."

Finn took a threatening step forward.

Puck couldn't resist one last name.

"I've got it," he snapped his fingers, "Last time you chose…Penis face."

Finn pointed at Puck and stated simply, "You're dead."

Rachel stepped between the two guys before things could get out of hand. She turned towards Puck, "Okay, that name is not even remotely related to bowling."

"Don't look at me; Finn is the one who picked it."

Rachel whipped around, "Is that true Finn?"

Finn shrugged. "Yeah. When we were getting ready to bowl, some guy walked in and he had the longest nose I'd ever seen. I'm talking long, and he had bad skin and the nose was kinda wrinkled, and well it looked like a…"

Rachel put up her hands, "I think I can guess the rest. You decided to pay some weird tribute to his face."

Finn had his fists raised like he was getting ready to swing.

Puck kept his concentration on Finn until he heard a soft giggling noise in the background.

The giggle started off slow, but increased in intensity until it was a full on crack-up. Puck looked around and saw Quinn doubled over in her seat laughing hysterically.

Puck, Rachel, and Finn weren't sure how to respond. Quinn was laughing so hard now that tears were coming out of her eyes.

She saw the group looking at her strangely, but Quinn couldn't stop. She tried to explain herself between laughs.

"You…(laugh)...guys...are…(giggle)…so stupid…(wheeze)…pin-sucker….penis face…(laugh)…"

Puck had to admit that those names were kind of dumb. When he thought back to that guys' nose, Puck couldn't help but laugh himself. Rachel and Finn joined in and the four of them stood/sat there cracking up for several minutes.

Looking at each other only made things worse, so Puck and Finn walked a few feet away until they could better compose themselves.

When they finally returned, Quinn was wiping her eyes and Rachel was muttering some sad lines from _Les Miserables_ to keep herself from laughing.

"Sorry," Quinn said. "I don't know what came over me. Between Puck's terrible bowling and Finn's colorful name choices, I just lost it."

"Boys are definitely the inferior sex," Rachel told Quinn.

Quinn smiled. "Hey, we agree about one thing."

Quinn stretched her arms and let out a big yawn. Finn took note and said, "It's getting late. Maybe I should take you home."

"We can finish our game another time." Rachel added.

"Okay," Quinn agreed. "I am pretty tired."

She and Finn changed out of their bowling shoes and grabbed their coats. Quinn took one last look at Puck and said, "Thanks for coming. I had fun." Quinn did a good job of covering the sadness that entered her eyes as she said the following, "You guys are really good together."

Quinn and Finn waved good-bye and then walked to the exit.

Puck watched them leave. Now that the double date was over, he was feeling very unsettled. Throughout dinner, he had watched Quinn's body language. It was clear to Puck that Quinn trusted Finn and depended upon him. Yet at times, Puck could have sworn that she was staring at him. At first, Puck thought he might have food on his face. But even after several swipes of his napkin, Quinn kept sneaking glances. That had to be a good sign.

However, Quinn had also told him that he and Rachel made a good couple. What the hell did that mean? Was Quinn telling him that she didn't care, or was she sincerely trying to be happy for him?

Puck rubbed his temples. He hated drama. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take or how much longer he was willing to wait. Maybe Quinn would never want him. In the meantime…

"You ready to go?" Rachel asked interrupting Puck's thoughts.

Puck grabbed Rachel's arm. "Hell yes. Let's get out of here."

********

"Here we are," Puck said pulling his car in front of Rachel's house.

Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt. "Thank you for driving me to my residence."

"No problemo."

Puck noticed that there weren't any lights on in the windows and that the house was completely dark.

"Is there anybody home?"

"No. My dads are out and they won't be back until later. They are taking a couples cooking class at the community center. They say it helps keep their relationship fresh."

Puck gave a half-smile, "It's funny."

"What is?" Rachel asked.

"It's funny that you have two dads, and I don't even have one."

"I don't have a mom though. Well, biologically I do, but I've never met her."

Puck got serious. "Do you miss her? Do you ever wish that your family was more normal?"

"We're in America; being abnormal is normal."

Puck gave Rachel his best bitch-please look to get her to answer the question.

Rachel leaned back against her seat. "It's hard to miss what you never had. Although, I guess it would have been nice to have another female to talk to during my awkward stages."

"What stages would those be?" Puck was curious.

"Oh you know, everything from potty-training until now."

Puck flashed his full grin which, Rachel had to admit, was pretty charming.

"Yeah, I love my mom, but there are certain things that guys can only talk about with other guys."

Rachel nodded. "Dads are important."

"I think so too," Puck said mostly to himself.

Rachel opened the passenger door, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll walk you in," Puck said opening his own door.

"Why?" Rachel was a little surprised.

"Have you never watched Dateline? Because some sick, weirdo rapist or kidnapper could be lurking around the corner ready to pounce that's why."

"I feel safer already." Rachel retorted.

Puck walked with Rachel the twenty feet to her front door. Rachel dug around in her bag until she came up with her house key. She unlocked the door and opened it a few inches. Puck shifted his weight from one foot to the other, but stayed standing on the porch. Rachel wasn't sure what he was waiting for, it's not like he could be expecting this to end with a good night kiss like a real date would. They were just pretending.

********

Puck didn't know why the hell he was still standing on Rachel Berry's front porch. It's not like they had been on a real date. Quinn wasn't around, so he didn't have to be nice to impress anyone. He should leave. Just when Puck had made up his mind to take that first step towards his car, Rachel spoke.

"Do you want to come inside?"

Puck knew what he should say; he should be a smartass and say something snarky like, "Has the house been fumigated against your type of nerd disease?"

Puck opened his mouth to deliver such an insult. Instead, he heard his voice simply say,

"Yes."

Puck wasn't sure if he or Rachel was more surprised. Puck knew that it was his voice that had actually spoken because he had heard a slight twang that was both sexy and smooth.

Rachel opened the door the rest of the way and walked through. Puck found that he could finally move, so he followed Rachel and closed the door behind them.


	9. Chapter 9

"So, this is clearly the living room. There's the dining room; the bathroom is down that hall. And here's the kitchen," Rachel said flicking on the lights in each room as she carried on her tour.

"Er…it's nice," Puck said following Rachel into the kitchen. Puck didn't know what else to say. If someone had told him a month ago that he would be anywhere near Rachel Berry's house, let alone standing in her kitchen, he would have accused them of dropping some bad acid.

Yet, here he was.

Puck took a glance around the room. He decided that he liked the kitchen; it had a nice lived-in feel to it. There were several gadgets on the counters amidst loaves of whole grain bread and bowls of fruit.

Puck noticed that the stainless steel refrigerator was covered in photographs. He moved closer, and realized that what he was seeing represented a photographic timeline of Rachel's life. There were pictures of a baby in a pink blanket, pictures of a young girl on-stage with a microphone, and a fairly recent picture of Rachel that looked like it came from the yearbook.

"I forgot those were in here," Rachel said gesturing to the collage.

Puck's eye zoomed in one photo, and he pulled it off. Rachel edged closer to see which one he grabbed. To her dismay, she saw an image of her six-year old self. Her hair was in pigtails and she was proudly displaying a wide smile with two missing front teeth. Not to mention the disproportionate size of her nose to the rest of her face.

"That's not one of my favorites. I look like a dork."

"Yes, yes you do," Puck agreed with her but not in a mean way. He replaced the photo and stepped back. He quickly rescanned the most recent photo of her and said, "At least you grew into your nose."

Rachel wasn't sure what he meant, but she decided to take it as a compliment. In an effort to change the subject, she asked, "Are you hungry? There's some ice cream in the freezer and we have good toppings."

"Okay." Puck could always eat and they didn't get a chance to have dessert at the bowling alley since Finn and Quinn left so early.

Rachel grabbed vanilla frozen yogurt and chocolate ice cream from the freezer and set it on the counter. Puck grabbed the whipped cream and chocolate sauce while Rachel started cutting up some strawberries and bananas.

Puck set about building a four-scoop monstrosity of a sundae complete with a whipped cream mountain, a river of chocolate sauce, nuts, sprinkles, and a couple of cherries. He was admiring his creation when he noticed that Rachel had only given herself one scoop of vanilla and topped it with fruit.

"That is not a sundae. It's not even a wannabe," Puck said in almost an accusatory tone.

She pointed to his masterpiece, "Do you know how much extra time I'd have to spend on the elliptical if I ate something like that?"

"I never thought of you as a coward," Puck taunted.

Never one to back down from a challenge, Rachel reached over the counter and took a huge spoonful from Puck's bowl which she then promptly shoved in her mouth.

Puck watched her struggle to swallow the big mouthful. It took her a moment, but she finally got it down.

"Well?" Puck prompted. "How is it?"

Rachel wiped her mouth with a napkin while Puck took his own bite.

"It's good."

Puck finished chewing. "This isn't just good, it's freakin' orgasmic."

Rachel blushed slightly.

Puck pushed his bowl closer to Rachel. "You have to help me eat this."

Rachel hesitated.

"Come on," Puck urged, "You can throw it up later if you want."

Rachel decided not to mention her weak gag reflex, and instead grabbed another spoonful from Puck's bowl.

They sat just eating for a few minutes. Since she was not a huge fan of silence, Rachel asked, "So what do you think of our chances at sectionals?"

"It doesn't sound like our competition is that tough. I mean, how hard is it going to be to beat criminals and deaf kids."

"But we can't become complacent. Even if we breeze through sectionals, we still have to worry about regionals."

"I'm not worried," Puck said scraping the bottom of his bowl, "We have you on our team."

"Thank you for saying that. But as Mr. Schu keeps pointing out, I can't win by myself. That's why I've been working so hard with the other group members and with Finn. I'm pleased to say that he is turning into quite a performer."

Puck felt his own gag reflex rise. "If by performer, you mean person who has finally stopped tripping over his own feet."

"Sure Finn's not the best dancer, but he has improved dramatically. And his vocals are excellent for someone with no training."

"Yeah and so aren't Artie's and Kurt's and the rest of the guys and the cheerleaders…" Puck was feeling extremely annoyed.

"Everyone in our group is a valuable part of the ensemble. However, not everyone possesses that star quality, that indescribable 'it factor' that engages the audience. Finn has that."

"Is that why you like him?" Puck jumped out of his chair and practically threw his bowl in the sink.

"Are you mad at me?" Rachel asked innocently. "Because I think you are very talented too, and if you continue to apply yourself…"

"I don't want to talk about me; I want to talk about Finn." Puck paced around the kitchen absentmindedly rubbing his mohawk.

"I've been trying to figure out what Finn has that makes girls fall for him. I thought maybe it's his freakish height that makes girls feel safe. Or the fact that he's the quarterback, or maybe it's that girls find his duh personality irresistible. But here you are telling me that Finn just has 'it.' I can't compete with 'it' because I don't know what it is."

"There doesn't always have to be a concrete reason. Sometimes, people just like certain other people. Why do you like Quinn?"

Puck stopped in his tracks. He hated how perceptive Rachel could be; it's like she saw right through him.

He tried to act casual, "What makes you think I like Quinn?"

Rachel pretended to think, "Oh, hmmm, maybe it's the fact that I have eyes. I've seen you looking at her during practice."

"Oh," Puck thought he had been less obvious.

Rachel continued, "I thought the whole point of our arrangement was to see if Finn and Quinn would get jealous enough of us to break up with each other. If they broke up by themselves, then you wouldn't feel bad going after Quinn and I wouldn't feel bad by pursuing Finn."

Puck sighed and sat back down. "So you knew when I asked you to go out with me, that I didn't just have Finn's best interest at heart?"

Rachel smiled, "You're not as smooth as you think you are."

Puck smiled back, "Yes I am."

Rachel looked away and surveyed the kitchen: ice cream had melted from the container and made drips on the counter, sprinkles were scattered everywhere, and somehow chocolate had gotten smudged on the back of the kitchen chair.

Puck saw Rachel's disgusted look and offered to help clean. He was wiping down the table with a sponge when the phone rang. Rachel talked for a few minutes and then hung up.

"That was dad #1. He said that his cooking group decided to go out for drinks because they had a rough class—something about a fallen soufflé. Anyway, they won't be back for a few hours."

Puck was actually glad. Hanging out with Rachel was kind of fun, and he knew of a way to make it even more so.

When everything in the kitchen was put away, Puck dragged Rachel into the living room. He stopped in front of the wooden cabinet that he had taken note of during the earlier tour. Puck knew a liquor cabinet when he saw one.

"I'm assuming this belongs to your dads. How come it's not locked?"

"We have built a solid foundation of trust."

Puck opened the doors. "Good, then they won't mind if we borrow some." Puck looked at some of the bottles and sniffed some that he didn't recognize.

Rachel was not a do-gooder by any means. She was willing to fight dirty to get what she wanted, and she wasn't completely against a little teen experimentation. However, she didn't relish the possibility that she might get caught and grounded.

"My dads will know if some of their spirits is missing, and they will know who is to blame," Rachel pointed out.

"Not if I make my patented cocktail." Puck pulled out two glasses and started pouring in a little liquor from each bottle, a splash of this and a dribble of that until the glasses were half full.

Rachel could barely tell that Puck had taken any at all.

"If we need to, we can add a little water to the clear bottles to make up the difference," Puck said as he handed Rachel her glass. She took a small sip and it burned the back of her throat.

"So, what do you call your concoction?"

Puck raised his glass in the air, "I call it…Alcohol!"

"That's not very clever or funny."

"No it's not," Puck agreed, "But it will be in a few minutes."

Puck was right. After Rachel downed her glass, a few refills, and the beer that Puck grabbed from the fridge, she was finding the littlest things amusing.

"If I rub my eyes really hard, I see a k…kal…kaleidoscope of colors." Rachel said giggling as she sat on the sofa. "It's like a rainbow." Rachel started humming _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_ rather loudly.

Puck was feeling a little buzzed himself, but he definitely knew how to hold his liquor better than Rachel.

Rachel decided that rubbing her eyes was no longer fun, so she stood in the center of the room and started to twirl. She continued to spin until she caught her foot on the coffee table. Puck jumped up and steadied Rachel before she could fall.

"Whoa, take it easy." Puck held onto Rachel's shoulders to limit her movements.

Rachel pouted. "You can't tell me what to do."

Puck tried to reason with her. "Your dads are gonna be back in like an hour, so I think you should be in bed asleep when they get home."

"I don't want to walk up the stairs, they're so...so…," she struggled to find the word, "so…vertical."

"That's usually how stairs are," Puck stated. He could tell that Rachel was not willing to move, so he motioned to his back and told Rachel, "Climb on."

It took her a few tries, but Rachel finally managed to secure herself on Puck's back in proper piggyback style. He staggered up the stairs and found Rachel's room in the second door on the left. When he reached the foot of her bed, he ordered her to get off, and she reluctantly complied.

"That was fun," Rachel said swaying on her feet slightly.

"I should get a job as a carnival ride," Puck responded.

"You should," Rachel said seriously.

"Okay, time to lie down." Puck kept his eye on Rachel as she sat and then scooted back on the bed and rested her head on the pillow. He took off her shoes and placed them in front of the closet.

"Puck?" Rachel motioned with her hand for Puck to come over, so he sat next to her on the bed.

Rachel's eyes were fixed on the ceiling, but she said, "I'm sorry Quinn doesn't like you. I know what that feels like."

Puck didn't know what to say.

"It's just because you act all tough on the outside, and you're hard to read, and you have a mohawk, and you used to be a bully," Rachel muttered.

Puck wondered how out of it Rachel really was. "Maybe I should get rid of the mohawk," Puck joked.

"No!" Rachel sat up on her elbows, "I like it. It makes you unique. I can always pick you out in the hallways."

"You look for me in the hallways?"

"Well recently, that's what a good girlfriend does, even a fake one."

"You're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had." Puck assured her.

"You ever get tired of pretending? Tired of putting on a show or keeping up appearances?" Rachel said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Puck had no idea what she was talking about. Drunk people always thought they were so profound.

"Yeah, I do," Puck said because it seemed like Rachel was waiting for an answer.

"Me too," she nodded.

While Puck was wondering how long it would take for Rachel to fall asleep so that he could leave, he felt a pair of hands slowly grab both sides of her face.

He started to ask her what she was doing, when he felt Rachel put her lips on his.

It was a soft pressure at first, but it quickly grew in intensity. For someone who had seemed so out of it only moments before, Rachel now seemed hyperaware of everything around her. She wrapped her arms around Puck and pulled him close. He put his hands on either side of Rachel and stretched out his entire body until he was lying next to her. Rachel continued her frenzied kissing while Puck's hands slid up and down her torso. It wasn't until Rachel had pulled Puck's shirt free from his jeans and was stroking his back, that Puck asked himself what the hell was happening.

Puck couldn't deny that what Rachel was doing felt good. She smelled fantastic and tasted even better. But, Puck remembered, Rachel was a little drunk so she might have no clue what she was doing and hate him in the morning.

Breathing heavily, Puck pulled his face back a few inches. Rachel groaned in protest and tried to pull him back.

"Wait Rachel. Are you sure you want to do this?" he almost dreaded the answer either way.

Rachel nodded and let her hands slide lower to show Puck that she was serious. Puck resumed his dominant position and kissed her fiercely. His shirt hit the floor and Rachel's followed quickly. After several minutes, Puck knew he was reaching the point of no return.

He pulled back one more time just to make sure. Something felt off. He looked into Rachel's face and saw something there that he had never seen before: eager adoration. Puck was used to seeing fire or determination or antagonism, all the things he associated with Rachel. None of that was in there now. This was the look that Rachel usually reserved for another certain male member of the glee club…

With a long sigh, Puck pushed himself away from Rachel and off the bed completely.

Rachel seemed surprised, "I want this," she insisted. "What are you doing?"

"The right thing," Puck grumbled as he picked his shirt up off the floor and headed into Rachel's bathroom.

Puck threw his shirt back on. He filled the sink with cold water and splashed his face in the hopes of cooling some of the fire that was surging through his veins. He dried his face off and looked into the mirror.

"Stupididiotdumbassmoron," he muttered.

Puck couldn't even be sure that Rachel had been thinking of him at all when she had pounced on him. Puck certainly wasn't going to take advantage of her now, especially considering the accusations that Quinn had once laid at his feet.

Puck was not that guy; at least he was trying not to be that guy.

Since Rachel's dads were due home any minute, Puck raced downstairs to clean up. He put all the liquor back in the cabinet and rinsed out their glasses. He put the pillows back on the sofa, and sprayed a little air freshener that he found under the sink. When he was convinced everything looked the way it did before, Puck went back upstairs.

He entered Rachel's room with a little trepidation. Rachel was lying on the bed with her top still off and her eyes closed.

Puck crept closer, grabbed an afghan, and lightly placed it over Rachel's sleeping form. He picked her shirt up off the floor and folded it neatly and put it on her bureau. He went into her bathroom and filled a glass with water. He brought it back into the room and set it on her bedside table along with some aspirin that he had found in the medicine cabinet, she was definitely going to need it when she woke up.

Puck glanced down at Rachel, who looked surprisingly peaceful, especially considering her twirling fit earlier. Her breaths came out in short, even puffs. Before he knew what he was doing, Puck bent down and placed a light kiss on Rachel's cheek.

"Good night Rachel," he whispered. "I'm glad I didn't make the same mistake again," he said so quietly he wasn't even sure it had been out loud. Puck shut off the light and gently closed the door.

********

Rachel had been half asleep when she had felt a light, warm pressure on her cheek. She had wanted to answer the deep voice who had whispered something to her, but she had been too sleepy. She remembered hearing the word "mistake," and thinking that she didn't know what that referred to. Right now, all Rachel could think of as she snuggled deeper under her blanket was that she felt safe and warm. As the door clicked closed, she drifted off into an even deeper sleep and began to dream.


	10. Chapter 10

Puck stood in the school hallway anxiously waiting for Rachel to arrive. He had wanted to call her as soon as he had woken up, but talked himself out of it in case she had gotten in trouble with her dads. Puck was a bit worried that he might have missed some incriminating evidence—an unwashed shot glass or a misplaced liquor bottle— when he cleaned up her house. Puck snorted as he remembered that he had actually wiped his fingerprints off the liquor cabinet. He made a mental note to stop watching so much CSI.

Puck was shifting the coffee that he had picked up earlier from hand to hand, when he spotted Rachel. She was walking slowly, and going out of her way to avoid the small groups of people clustered at various lockers.

Instead of her usual short skirt (which Puck always appreciated), Rachel was wearing grey sweat pants and a blue hoodie. Rachel's eyes were covered in pink sunglasses that were in the shape of stars. Puck hated watching her slow progress, so he took several long strides to meet up with her.

"How's the hangover?" Puck asked.

"Aptly named. I feel like I was literally hung over some abyss and left to dangle for several hours. My head hurts and my throat is scratchy. I also appear to have a bad case of photophobia," Rachel said gesturing to her sunglasses, "and loud noises are painful. Are you suffering from any adverse side effects?"

"No. Last night was not my first rodeo."

"Huh?"

"I just meant that I have built up a pretty high tolerance for alcohol. Plus, I weigh more than you do and I ate most of the sundae I made which probably helped absorb the booze."

"Oh."

"Here," Puck pressed the coffee cup he was holding into Rachel's hand. "I got you a nonfat latte with extra foam. It'll help your head."

"Thanks." She took a small sip. "I like extra foam."

"Who doesn't," Puck stated matter-of-factly.

Puck scratched his head and glanced down at the floor. "Listen, I hope you didn't get into any trouble because of me."

"Thanks for the concern, but my dads didn't suspect anything. I was asleep when they got home. When I woke up and went downstairs, everything had been cleaned up. The living room even smelled powder fresh."

"I Febreezed," Puck explained.

"That was sweet of you."

Rachel took another sip from her cup to stall. She wasn't sure if she should bring up what had happened between them.

Puck wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about it either. He hated conversations about expectations and feelings and other crap like that.

After several seconds that seemed liked an eternity, Puck and Rachel spoke at the same time:

"I'm sorry," Puck blurted out.

"Thank you," Rachel started to say.

They both let out a nervous laugh.

"You go first," Puck insisted.

"Okay." Rachel took a deep breath. "I wanted to thank you for taking care of the situation, for cleaning up the house, and for not taking advantage of me. You made me feel safe. Most other guys in your place…" she trailed off.

"It's my fault you were acting like that in the first place. I guess I just wanted to see you loosen up a bit, have some fun."

"I have fun. I may be a little uptight and have my clothes and accessories arranged by size, color, and number of times I have worn them, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to have a good time," Rachel huffed.

"I know. I realized it was a bad idea as soon as you started twirling in the living room."

"I did that?" Rachel asked sheepishly.

"Yes. Yes you did."

Rachel bit her lip, "So you didn't like me better when I was inebriated?"

"Nah, I like you just the way you are."

Rachel smiled.

"You were even more high maintenance as a drunk."

Rachel decided to let that comment slide.

"I would like it if we could forget about this incident and just stick to the plan," Rachel stated.

She stuck out her right hand and asked, "Friends?"

Puck didn't know the exact moment it had happened, but the fact remained that he and Rachel had indeed become friends.

He shook her hand and repeated "Friends."

The warning bell rang which signaled that the students had one minute to get to their first period class.

Puck cocked his head towards the English room, "I guess I better…"

"Yeah me too."

As Rachel began to walk away she said, "Thanks again for last night."

Puck smirked his famous smirk—the one that made you want to both kiss him and slap him, and responded, "For your first time Berry, you weren't that bad."

Rachel rolled her eyes at his reference (even though he couldn't see it beneath her sunglasses) to her maiden voyage at being drunk, and then walked to class.

Puck was in a great mood. So great a mood in fact, that he failed to notice the cheerleader with the angry scowl on her face who had overheard the last part of his conversation with Rachel.

Santana Lopez slammed her locker shut and headed toward her history class. She tried to process the information she had just stumbled upon. She quickly decided that she couldn't wait to share this latest bit of gossip at lunch.

*******

Santana was sitting at a table in the cafeteria with Quinn. The yogurt and fruit she had brought from home lay untouched in front of her as she tried to relay what she had overheard.

"I'm telling you, Rachel and Puck hooked up last night."

"How can you be so sure?" Quinn asked cautiously.

"Rachel said 'thanks for last night' and then Puck said she was good considering it was her first time."

"So that conversation makes you think that they had sex?"

"Well, they weren't talking about doing Sudoku." Santana gave an exasperated sigh.

Quinn tried not to care, but she did. She needed more info.

"They could have been talking about anything. We went bowling last night. He could have been talking about her game."

Santana seemed unconvinced. "I don't think so. Puck was giving her his best sexy-face, the one he used to give me. Besides, I could tell by his tone that he was not talking about bowling. He was teasing her, but seemed proud at the same time. Gag me." She mimed the motion by sticking her finger in her mouth.

"Well, maybe he's teaching her how to play the guitar." Quinn was grasping at straws.

Although, Quinn thought, Rachel didn't look like she could sit still long enough to pick up an instrument.

"Or maybe they were talking about…I don't know…horseback riding." The straws Quinn was grasping were officially broken now.

Santana took the first bite of her yogurt, "If that's the case, then Rachel saved a horse by riding a cowboy."

"Just stop." Quinn was disgusted.

Santana pretended not to hear. "You know what confirmed it for me? Rachel was wearing sweats and she looked exhausted…probably because Puck didn't let her get any sleep."

As if Quinn needed any more proof, she glanced up just in time to see Puck and Rachel enter the lunchroom holding hands. Quinn noted that Rachel's clothes did look bad, even for Rachel. Puck whispered something into Rachel's ear and she smiled and laughed. Quinn had to look away.

"I don't know why you're so upset, I'm the one who dumped the guy," Santana said.

"Considering my current situation, I'm not a big fan of gossip."

"What gossip? Where? Who's gossiping?" Finn said; his approach had gone unnoticed by Quinn as her attention had been drawn elsewhere.

The smell from Finn's lunch tray immediately made Quinn's stomach flip. He had a hamburger, a hot dog, a slice of pizza, chips, and baked beans all on a plate.

Santana piped up, "Rachel and Puck are making the beast with two backs."

Finn's face fell. "How do you know?"

Santana quickly relayed the exact story that she had told Quinn.

"So they were just standing in the hallway?"

"Yup."

"Just shouting for the whole world to hear?'

"Pretty much."

"And he said the words 'first time?'"

"Verbatim."

Finn looked confused.

"That means that's exactly what he said," Santana explained. .

"Oh." Finn shoved his hot dog in his mouth, left the rest of the food on the tray, and stood up from the table.

"Where are you going?" Quinn asked.

"I've lost my appetite. I'm gonna go. See yah later."

On his way out the door, Finn walked by Puck who happened to be standing in front of the vending machine getting a soda.

Puck tried to greet him, but Finn just got close to his face and shouted, "HAVE YOU NO SHAME?" Finn then stalked out the exit like a three year old throwing a tantrum.

The lunchroom got silent for ten seconds, but normal conversation resumed pretty quickly since yelling was a normal occurrence at the high school. Puck shrugged his shoulders since he had no idea why Finn had yelled and sat back down at his table next to Rachel.

"Weird." Quinn said before trying to change the subject, "So, did you end up buying that bracelet at the mall that you liked?"

"I was going to, and it was on sale…"

Quinn zoned out while Santana chattered on. She had to admit, the news about Puck and Rachel had taken her by surprise. She knew that Puck was a manwhore, but she had thought that Rachel had better sense then to fall for his act. What worried Quinn the most was Finn's reaction. He had been so affected that he had left most of his lunch behind, and lunch was his favorite meal. If Quinn didn't do something soon, she might lose everyone she cared about.

Quinn needed some advice. And she knew exactly who she was going to go to get it.

*******

Quinn sat in her chair fidgeting nervously and briefly wondered if she had made a terrible mistake by getting a pass from fifth period and coming here. She stared at the formidable figure who was sitting at the desk in front of her. This figure was not speaking; rather, she was staring into a handheld mirror and currently flossing her teeth.

Quinn cleared her throat to break the uncomfortable silence.

Sue Sylvester took one last swipe at her gums with the floss before throwing the long strand into the trash can. She ran her tongue across her teeth.

"Sorry about that. I forgot my lunch and had to 'borrow' a sandwich from the refrigerator in the staff lounge. It was corned beef, and it was terribly stringy and dry. I wouldn't have taken it but the sandwich had a label on it that said _Please Do Not Eat: I Have Strep Throat and am Contagious_. I saw that as a personal challenge, one that I feel my superior immune system is up to. Anyway, I got some stuck in my teeth: the sandwich not the virus. But, I think it's gone now.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me," Quinn said.

"No problem. I have an open door policy Q. Just think of me as the United States. Whenever you want to hop on a raft and float for days or jump in a van with twenty of your very tan friends, just come on over that border. I promise not to alert the Federales or check your papers too closely," Sue said gesturing to the hall pass in Quinn's hands.

"This is a real hall pass, Mr. Taylor signed…"

"Shhhh," Sue pretended to lock her lips shut and throw away the key. "I'm sure it is," Sue then gave Quinn a conspiratorial wink.

"I know it may seem weird that I came to you, especially since you kicked me off the squad. The truth is that I have no one else to talk to. I can't go to my parents because they don't know about the baby, and I can't go to the guidance counselor because all she'd do is give me some pamphlets. I need advice from someone who's not afraid to get their hands dirty."

Sue held up her hands, "Consider these filthy."

Sue got up from her desk and started to pace, "I know it feels like you have the weight of the whole world on your shoulders Q. I've seen you walking around the halls looking depressed: a once cheerful Cheerio is now a forlorn Frownio. What can I help you with?"

"Mostly, I'm just scared about the pregnancy," Quinn confessed.

Sue picked up a pair of five pound dumbbells off the shelf and started doing reps.

"I'm not going to lie to you, you should be scared. Through regression hypnosis, I was able to remember the exact moment when I was born. It was horrible. I was ripped from the warmth of my mother's womb and brought into a cold, foreign world upside down where there was screaming and crying, none of it my own, and bodily fluids everywhere. The doctor slapped my bottom to try and get me to make a sound, and I bit him with my toothless gums."

Quinn was speechless.

"Don't even ask me about my memories of being born during my past life as a fifteenth century Renaissance painter," Sue warned. "Two words, Breech birth."

"But you don't have any kids, so you don't know what labor actually feels like for the mother," Quinn pointed out.

Sue pulled the weights behind her to work on her triceps. "Just recently, I heard from a reliable source that giving birth is comparable to being in warlike conditions."

Quinn wasn't sure she wanted an elaboration, but asked anyway, "Where'd you hear that?"

"Oh, just on some popular segment on the news. I think it had a woman's name in the title followed by the word 'Corner.' No matter. This wise person said that having a baby gestating inside you is like swallowing a live grenade that is set to go off in a few months. You don't know when exactly, but at some point the pin gets pulled, or in your case, the mucus plug falls off. As it struggles to be born, that baby will rip open your insides like shrapnel. And while you try to push the parasite out, your private playground down there is exposed to the world and more than likely you will defecate on yourself in front of everyone."

Quinn shuddered. "That sounds awful."

Sue put the weights down and sat back at her desk, "On the bright side, you get a screaming brat out of the deal that you can train to do stuff, like change the channel when you can't find the remote or fetch the newspaper."

"I think I'll be able to handle the birthing stuff once I go to those special classes. What I really want to know from you is how to deal with people that you can't stand. How do you manage to get the upper hand? Everyone in this school either respects or fears you. I want to be able to stand-up for myself like that."

"I'm flattered. I can give you a couple of my secrets to success, but I have to save some for the tell-all book that I plan to write within the next couple weeks. I predict it will be a chart topper."

Quinn waited with anticipation.

Sue leaned back in her chair and said, "The first step is to decide what you really want. The next step is to visualize yourself achieving your goal."

"That sounds sensible," Quinn commented.

"If that doesn't work…" Sue pounded her fist down on the desk, "Pulverize any person who gets in the way. Do whatever you have to— kick them in the shins, put superglue on their chair so they miss a staff meeting, or have your accounting guy fudge some numbers and change that person's credit history. Be creative, that's half the fun."

"What would you do if you overheard some gossip, but you're not sure it's true?" Quinn asked.

Sue's eyes darted from side to side. She lowered her voice, "Why? What have you heard? Is there some rumor floating around this cesspool about me? I don't care what people say, I did not knowingly strike a deal with the lunch lady to switch out the regular lunch milk with rat milk and then pocket the savings. Oh, that's another tip I can give you: plausible deniability. If you didn't see something, then it never happened."

"The gossip has nothing to do with you," Quinn assured her.

Sue let out a relieved sigh. "Moving on then. The best way to deal with gossip is to go directly to the source. Ask that person to tell you the truth, and refuse to leave until they do so."

Quinn looked up at the clock and saw that the bell was going to ring any second.

"I should probably leave so I can make it to my next class. Thanks again for your help Ms. Sylvester."

Quinn grabbed her backpack and stood up.

"Glad I could help. Come back anytime." Sue absently shuffled some papers on her desk before speaking in a slightly softer tone, "If any of the snot-nosed, pimple-faced idiots in this dump are giving you a hard time, just tell me and I will deal with it. You should just be focusing on you right now."

Quinn smiled in appreciation and headed towards the door.

Sue held up one hand to stop her from leaving, "One more thing Q."

"Yeah?"

"If I were you, I'd get the epidural…because seriously…Kaboom!" Sue mimicked the sound of an exploding grenade.

Quinn nodded her head in agreement and left the office.

Sue swiveled in her chair while thinking that mind-altering and pain-diminishing drugs could be the topic of her next TV segment.

She suddenly thought of a good line to reel viewers in:

"Drugs: do they make people stupid, or do already stupid people just take them and ruin it for the rest of us?"

With satisfaction, Sue curled her fingers into her trademark sign and said, "That's how Sue C's it."


	11. Chapter 11

After leaving Ms. Sylvester's office, Quinn contemplated the best way to use the advice she had just been given. On the one hand, Quinn would love nothing more than to knock Rachel down a couple pegs. On the other hand, Quinn knew that's definitely not what Jesus would do.

Quinn thought hard and eventually decided that she did not have the killer instinct that Ms. Sylvester possessed. Quinn did not want to physically injure, emotionally scar, or psychologically damage Rachel Berry in any lasting way.

Quinn finally settled on a plan that included public humiliation with a side of ruined reputation for good measure.

While walking down the hallway, Quinn grabbed the first student that she saw and asked "Did you hear what happened between Rachel and Puck last night?"

Within a few minutes, Quinn had a dozen different versions of what Rachel did with Puck circulating. Quinn knew that Santana would be more than willing to help verify the rumors since she had been so eager to share at lunch in the first place.

With a smug grin, Quinn waited for the news to hit her intended target.

********

_The sun'll come out_

_Tomorrow_

_Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow_

_There'll be sun_

Rachel walked to the choir room while humming her favorite song from _Annie_.

Surprisingly, she had gotten over her hangover fairly quickly. After a steady stream of aspirin and caffeine, Rachel was almost feeling back to normal.

Rachel regretted that she no longer kept a change of clothes in her locker. Since the slushie threat had drastically been reduced once she and Puck had started dating, she no longer felt the need. Rachel really wanted to get out of her sweats though because true stars only wore lounge-wear outside once they had hit rock bottom. Rachel wasn't planning on hitting rock bottom for another fifteen years. This, of course, was going to be a part of her PR plan to keep herself in the public eye. After a minor stint in rehab, she would emerge better than ever and her career would make a (seemingly) miraculous comeback.

When she reached the choir room doors, Rachel was surprised to hear voices. She always made an effort to arrive before everyone else to show her dedication.

While remaining out of sight, Rachel leaned closer to hear what was being said.

"I heard they did it once on the floor," Mercedes' voice rang out.

"I heard they did it more than once and that Rachel took control once she got the hang of things. Bow-chicka-bow-wow," Artie said.

"I heard she cr-cried and k..kicked him out," Tina added.

"I was told that it was the other way around…Rachel made Puck get emotional and he let himself out. Something about her singing sad show tunes at a crucial moment and him being insulted," Kurt said.

Rachel stamped her foot on the ground. She could not believe her supposed friends were saying such derogatory untruths about her. She was about to storm in and deliver the tantrums of all tantrums when she heard someone come up from behind her.

"I know it looks confusing, but this is a door. You're supposed to walk through it. Here let me show you," Puck said as he reached his hand out.

"This is no time to be cute," Rachel hissed and pulled his arm back.

"I can't change who am I," Puck said dusting off his shoulders like he was the man. "Why are you whispering? And why are you just standing there?"

Rachel pushed Puck a few feet away from the door. "I'm listening to our fellow classmates denigrate our good names."

"I don't know what they're saying about you, but I've gotten all my shots," Puck joked.

Rachel smacked him on the chest. "Listen for yourself."

Puck put his ear to the door just like Rachel had done.

Puck could hear Santana speaking, "I was there and he said the words 'first time.' Plus, Rachel looked wicked exhausted and she was covering her eyes with sunglasses."

"That could s..ss..support the th-theory I heard ab..bout the crying," Tina said.

"Or the one about her dads walking in and catching them and wanting to send her to boarding school," Mercedes stated.

"Someone told me they did it in front of the cat," Britney added.

"Well, that doesn't sound kosher," Artie said wryly.

Puck started to laugh while Rachel scowled, "I don't even have a cat."

"And I don't like to do it with an audience," he smirked.

"This is terrible," Rachel moaned. "They think I'm a fallen woman. I should just paint an 'S' on my chest for being a slut."

"Weren't you the one who said that girls want it just as much as guys?" Puck pointed out.

"I said that I didn't like the double standard. A girl should be able to act on her carnal urges without being stigmatized as long as she protects herself. If I had actually been with you, then I would own it. Since we didn't sleep together, I don't like the fact that people are saying we did."

Puck nodded. "I want to know what else we supposedly did before you go in and start yelling," he said as he resumed his eavesdropping position.

Rachel had to admit that she was also curious, so she put her ear next to Pucks'.

"How do you think it happened?" Mike wondered aloud.

"He probably flashed his abs," Kurt sighed. "That'd work for me. I'm a sucker for abs."

"Maybe he put on some Barry White, that guys' voice is liquid sex," Artie offered.

The whole room was quiet as the glee members stared at Artie.

"What?" he shrugged. "That's how I get all my ladies." He lowered his voice and said, "Can't get enough of your love babe."

They ignored that creepy statement and continued speculating.

Finn, who was sitting at the drum-set, finally spoke up after sulking for the past few minutes. "I can guess. First he helped her with her bowling form. Then, he probably told her how pretty she was, and then he took her home, insisted on coming in, then showed her his huge biceps until she just let him do whatever he wanted."

With venom dripping from her voice, Quinn responded with, "Or maybe she's just a bitch in heat who would give it away to any dog that came sniffing around."

Puck had heard enough. He banged open the door, and everyone in the room jumped at the loud noise. Puck stormed in and stood in front of the piano preparing to tear the place apart; Rachel wasn't the only one who could throw a Grade-A hissy fit.

He locked eyes with Quinn. "Well, you'd know since you're the expert on being a bitch."

Realizing that she had crossed the line, Quinn looked away first.

Finn reacted quickly, and in just a few seconds, he was standing within inches of Puck.

"Dude, that's not cool." Finn said.

"Dude, get the hell out of my face." Puck menacingly stepped closer getting ready to fight if necessary. Since Finn was so tall, Puck's best bet was to aim for the kneecaps.

"And if I don't?" Finn glared down at Puck.

"If you don't, then I am going to hit you so hard that your Grandmother will feel it."

"Are you talkin' smack about my Nana Boo-boo?"

"Maybe," Puck said mysteriously.

"She was a great lady," Finn shouted. "She made the best peanut brittle!"

"I hate peanuts, they taste like ass," Puck shot back.

"Oh, no you didn't." Finn's face turned red with anger

"Oh, yes I did."

"Sorry to interrupt guys," Artie spoke up, "but weren't you fighting about Quinn and Rachel?"

"That's right," Finn said getting back on track. "Apologize to Quinn."

"Like hell I will. She needs to apologize to Rachel."

"Why should she apologize if what she said is true?" Finn asked.

"I am so bringing my nunchucks to school tomorrow and beating your ass."

Moving away from the door, Rachel inserted herself between Puck and Finn before the situation could escalate further.

"You two are friends. You should not be fighting like this," Rachel said trying to keep the peace.

Finn was indignant. "That's nice Rachel, go ahead and protect your new _lover_. I really expected more from you."

In the background, Kurt whispered, "This is better than a soap opera." To which Mercedes responded, "I wish we had some popcorn, I could watch this for hours." Artie raised one hand and added "Preach."

"You don't even know what happened," Puck said to Finn. "All you've heard are some crazy rumors. I thought you cared about Rachel as a friend, but yet you're so willing to believe the worst about her."

Finn crossed his arms. "Why don't you set the record straight then?"

"First of all, I did go to Rachel's house after bowling and we did hang out. But, nobody cried. Nobody's parents showed up. Nobody listened to Barry White," he nodded at Artie. "While I do agree he is a very slick man, that's not the type of music I like to get my groove on to, I need something with a beat. And lastly, Rachel doesn't even have a cat."

"So nothing happened?" Finn said starting to look relieved.

Rachel should have been glad that Finn seemed to care so much, but she wasn't. Instead, she was insulted. Rachel hated that Finn thought that Puck wasn't good enough for her. Over the past few weeks, Rachel had really gotten to know Noah, the guy beneath the mohawk who could sometimes be surprisingly sweet. Despite what she had said in the hallway about not wanting a tarnished reputation, Rachel decided she needed to do something.

"No…" Puck started to say in response to Finn's question when Rachel placed her hand over his mouth to silence him.

"Thanks for trying to protect me Noah, but I can answer for myself. First of all, what I do with any guy is no one else's business," Rachel said looking around the room. After everyone looked properly chastised, she continued. "However, I am not ashamed of who I am or what I've done, and I am willing to tell the truth."

Rachel paused dramatically, and Puck (more than anyone else) was curious to hear what she was going to say next.

"Noah took me out on a nice date and then escorted me home. We looked at pictures, had some dessert, and engaged in a lively conversation." Thinking of the alcohol, Rachel smiled and added, "I won't go into graphic detail, but Noah showed me another world. I felt myself spinning out of control and getting dizzy. I was flying. At times, I was even a little scared and disoriented. When it was over, he took care of me and made me feel safe. He was a true gentleman. It was a lovely evening, and I don't regret a single second of it," Rachel finished.

Many of the girls (and Kurt) let out a soft sigh as they imagined the romance.

Puck grinned at Rachel and was amused that she had managed to tell the truth while not quite telling the truth.

"That sounds so nice," Britney said.

"Aw, to be young and in love," Kurt said mostly to himself.

"Hot," Artie added simply.

Finn was momentarily shocked, but managed to collect himself. "I guess you told me. I'm happy for you Rachel," he said eventually but in a sad tone.

"Sorry I got in your face man," Finn told Puck.

"It's okay. Forget about it."

"Well isn't this just peachy," Quinn said rising from her chair. "I'm glad _your_ first time was so magical Rachel." Quinn placed a hand on her expanding stomach, "I hope you don't have any unexpected surprises. Please excuse me while I go throw up, it's a little too saccharine sweet in here." Quinn practically sprinted out of the room.

Finn started to chase after her, but Rachel stopped him. "I'll go check on her. She and I have a few things we need to work out anyway."

Finn nodded his approval. Rachel snuck a quick glance at Puck, who had a look on his face that she couldn't quite read, and left.

*******

Rachel walked down the hall in search of Quinn. She stopped outside the ladies room when she heard soft sobs coming from within. Rachel was sure that she was the last person that Quinn wanted to see. However, Rachel was never one to back down from a challenging situation. She scrounged up as much courage as possible, squared her shoulders, and entered the tiny bathroom.

Rachel saw that of the three stalls, only the one on the left had its door shut. The cries were coming from that stall.

Rachel decided the best approach was to just pretend that it was a coincidence that she was in the same bathroom as Quinn. She walked into the middle stall and closed the door. She figured she could just wait for Quinn to come out, and then she could come out at the same time.

Rachel was counting in her head to pass the time while the sobs beside her lessened until they became small sniffles.

Rachel was still counting when she heard a raspy voice say, "I know you're in here Rachel."

Rachel thought she had been stealthy. "How do you know it's me?"

"Because I can see your ugly shoes underneath the stall."

"Oh." Rachel looked down at her favorite pair of saddle shoes and had to admit they were a unique style choice for high school.

Rachel heard the toilet flush next to her and the door swing open. Hating that she had been caught, Rachel opened her own door anyway.

Quinn was rubbing her red eyes with a wet paper towel at the sink.

Rachel approached cautiously. "Are you okay?"

Quinn gave Rachel a stern look. "Do I look okay?"

"That was a stupid question," Rachel admitted. "It's just that you ran out of glee club so fast, I thought somebody should check on you."

"Thanks for the concern, but if I hear anymore details about you and Puck, my ears will start to bleed." Quinn threw the saturated paper towel in her hand away and got a new one.

"Sorry if we offended. Puck and I overheard all the glee members talking about us, and I wanted to straighten everything out. I don't even know how all those rumors got started."

"I started them," Quinn snapped.

Rachel was used to being bullied, but she was still a little surprised. "Why would you do that?" she asked.

"Because I don't like you."

Rachel tried to stay calm because she could see how badly Quinn was hurting. "Any other reason?"

Quinn sighed. "Santana overheard your conversation with Puck in the hallway. She was convinced the two of you had hooked up. I wasn't sure myself until I saw you hanging all over each other at lunch. I thought it would be interesting to spread around some different stories, see which ones were believed. I figured it might take the attention off of me for awhile."

Rachel decided to take a light approach. "No offense Quinn, but hardly anyone is even talking about you anymore; you're kind of old news. I mean honestly, you're not the first pregnant teen to attend high school, even in a small town like this. Heck, I don't think we've had a public stoning in years."

Quinn tried to suppress a smile, but a small one snuck out anyway. "You think I'm being ridiculous, don't you?"

"Just a little bit." Rachel smiled back.

Quinn finished cleaning her face and leaned against the sink with her back to the mirror.

"I know I'm being a jerk, but I almost can't help it. I have no clue what I'm going to do about my daughter."

Quinn's voice got softer and she briefly cradled her stomach when she said the word "daughter." Rachel recognized Quinn's tone as being wistful.

"Have you told your parents?" Rachel asked in a concerned manner.

"Not yet. I know its going to be pretty obvious soon, but I'm trying to hold off the moment when I become an utter failure in their eyes."

"Sure they'll be disappointed at first, but they're your parents. Won't they come around eventually?"

"Not my parents. They are so religious and old fashioned."

Rachel thought for a moment. "Well, tell them that you made a mistake but you're still the same person and you are trying to do the right thing."

"I guess I could try that," Quinn said while seeming somewhat unconvinced. "You know, I can't help but ask why this had to happen to me. One stupid mistake, one careless moment…"

Quinn paused and then looked over at Rachel. "When you were talking about your night with Puck, I was actually jealous. It did sound sweet. Plus, the way he defended you was really nice even if he did call me a bitch in the process. I guess I deserved it. All I remember from my life-changing night is half a dozen wine coolers and waking up on the floor with a sore back."

"Alcohol can make you do things you'd never thought you'd do," Rachel commiserated.

"Or things you always wanted to do, but never had the guts," Quinn muttered.

Rachel thought back to a conversation that she had had with Finn a while ago in the practice room.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but Finn briefly mentioned once that you two…you know…in a hot tub," Rachel spit out before she could stop herself.

Quinn looked up toward the ceiling. "Why am I not surprised that you and Finn have discussed this?"

Rachel shifted her weight from foot to foot, now feeling uncomfortable.

"Hot tub, floor, drunk, sober…it doesn't matter; the end result is the same," Quinn said by way of explanation.

Another female student entered the bathroom suddenly, walked past Rachel and Quinn, and headed into the middle stall.

Rachel cleared her throat. Realizing their heart-to-heart was now over, she said, "I guess we should go to practice."

"Can you tell Mr. Schu that I wasn't feeling well and went home early? I'm really not up for singing right now."

In an effort to be sensitive, Rachel bit her tongue before she could insist that the group really needed to practice altogether right now.

"Sure, I'll tell him."

The girls left the bathroom and went into the hall. Before they parted ways, Quinn said, "I'm really sorry I spread those rumors about you Rachel."

"Thanks for saying that," Rachel responded.

Quinn lowered her voice to a whisper, "I know this is gonna sound kind of weird but…be careful around Puck. He can be the most charming guy in the world…and before you know it, you can forget yourself…that's when accidents happen," she cautioned.

Before Rachel could ask Quinn about her cryptic advice, she had disappeared down the hallway. Shrugging her shoulders, Rachel put the conversation out of her mind and walked back to practice.


	12. Chapter 12

Puck could not believe that _this_ was how he was spending his Saturday.

Instead of jamming on his guitar, watching horror movies, or going to the temple (he was such a bad Jew), Puck was forced to stay inside and baby-sit his kid sister Emily. Puck's mom had left him in charge while she went away for the weekend on her annual trip—the trip that she affectionately referred to as, "Getting out of this hellhole for a few days so that I can retain the few shreds of sanity that I have left."

Puck strongly suspected that his mom really left to go meet guys because she always came back smelling like Old Spice and cigar smoke. Puck didn't really care what (or who) she was doing as long as she had a good time. The only downside was that he was stuck with the screaming banshee known as his sister.

At the moment, Puck was holed up his room trying to ignore Emily's annoying demands.

Puck looked at the cell phone on his bedside table and willed it to ring. He had been trying to get Quinn to call him back ever since last night. He wanted to apologize for yelling and calling her a bitch.

Not that she didn't deserve it.

Puck had discretely asked around and found out that Quinn was the one who was spreading the rumors about him and Rachel. Puck was getting so sick of Quinn's vindictive behavior, and was almost at the point of admitting defeat and just letting the whole thing go. But, a part of him just couldn't—the part that wanted his daughter to know who her real father was. Puck realized that if he wanted to have any shot at being in his kids' life then he would have to suck up his pride and make the first move.

Thinking that she might have sent a text, Puck grabbed the phone and flipped it open.

No new messages and no new texts.

He dialed her number again, and it went straight to voicemail. Puck threw the phone down in frustration. He flopped on his bed and thought back to yesterday. He could not believe that he had actually stormed into the choir room to defend anyone, let alone Rachel. That was not like him, he was usually so laid back and chill—he was chiller than sticking an ice cube in your underpants on a hot day. Something in Quinn's tone though had gotten under Puck's skin worse than a bad case of jock itch.

She had called Puck a dog. She had made hooking up with him sound like a fate worse than death. And she had been so nasty to Rachel.

Puck had been surprised at Rachel's reaction; he thought she would cry or yell or give a monologue on the harmful effects of rumor. Instead, she had protected him and their "relationship" by letting everyone think they had done the deed. Puck had to admit that Rachel Berry was turning out to be one cool chick.

Puck wondered what Rachel was doing right now and thought about calling her when he heard a shout from downstairs.

"Noah, I'm Hungry!" Emily bellowed.

Puck sighed. "I gave you a donut before!" he shouted back.

"That was hours ago. You do know that you have to feed me more than once a day. It's lunchtime."

Puck looked over at the clock on his dresser. Damn. It was after one. He figured that he better head down before Emily threatened to tell on him…

"If you don't make me lunch, I'm gonna call mom!" Emily called in the whiniest of tones.

"I'M COMING. SHUT YOUR FACE."

Puck got off his bed and hurried down the stairs. He did his best to avoid the minefield of clothes and toys that were scattered everywhere. Puck was in disbelief that a ten-year old girl could make such a big mess in such a short amount of time.

Puck placed his foot on the last stair, which was covered in laundry, and heard a small popping sound. Lifting up a green t-shirt, Puck saw that he had accidentally stepped on one of Emily's dolls. The doll lay in two pieces; the body that was dressed in a pink jumper was now completely separated from the head that was covered with deep brown hair.

Puck picked up the head and unsuccessfully tried to jam it back onto the body. He noticed that the doll's plastic neck was badly cracked and realized there was no way that he was going to be able to fix it.

Shit.

He couldn't get rid of the evidence because Emily would notice if one of her dolls was missing. He couldn't blame it on anyone else, and they didn't have any pets in the house. If he copped to it, Emily would cry and his mom would give him a painful speech about being disappointed in him for torturing his sister.

DING DONG

Still unsure of what to do, Puck walked to get the door with the doll parts in his hands.

"Don't forget to ask who it is," Emily yelled from the kitchen.

Puck rolled his eyes. "Who is it?"

"It's me," a female voice called.

Puck would recognize that voice anywhere. He wasn't sure why, but his heart started beating a little faster in his chest. With anticipation, he swung the door open in record time and saw Rachel Berry standing on his porch.

Puck couldn't help but notice that Rachel looked good. She was wearing a dark blue shirt with a deep V neck, a pair of tight jeans, and brown boots.

_Stare at her face, Stare at her face_ Puck mentally told himself.

Puck leaned against the doorjamb in an effort to be casual. "Hey Rachel, I didn't know you were coming over."

"I hope you don't mind. We didn't really get a chance to talk after practice yesterday, and I wanted to…" Rachel trailed off as she took in the doll head and body,

"Maybe I should have called first. I'll let you get back to…decapitating dolls….and I'll just see you at school." Rachel looked like she was gonna rush off the porch.

Puck cursed the stupid doll. "Wait Rachel. This is not what it looks like."

Rachel raised an eyebrow to indicate she didn't believe him.

"Okay," Puck conceded as he took on a mock serious tone. "I was, in fact, the person who decapitated this doll. However, I did not take any pleasure in doing so. This," he held up the doll head, "was the result of a horrible accident. I tried to see if I could save her, but I think it's in God's hands now." Puck sniffed and pretended to wipe away a tear.

"How tragic," Rachel played along. She grabbed the doll head and looked at it, "At least she's in a better place now."

"The big dollhouse in the sky," Puck conjectured.

Rachel was the first to crack a smile. "I think this may be the weirdest conversation I've ever had."

"I've had weirder," Puck said smiling. Rachel believed him.

From behind his back, Puck heard his sister's voice say from the foyer, "Is that a girl Noah? Mom said you weren't allowed to invite any tramps in when she wasn't home."

"She is not a tramp, she's my girlfriend. And believe me, mom would approve of her."

Emily peered at Rachel with curiosity. "Are you Jewish?"

Rachel walked through the door. "Yes I am. My name is Rachel. What's yours?"

"Emily."

"It's nice to meet you," Rachel said as she went to shake hands while forgetting what she was holding.

"OH MY GOD! THAT'S MOLLY DOLLY'S HEAD. YOU KILLED HER. YOU'RE A MURDERER!" Emily shrieked.

Rachel jumped back in surprise, and dropped the offending doll part on the ground.

"Relax Emily," Puck stepped in, "Rachel didn't kill your doll. I stepped on her by accident because there is so much crap on the stairs."

:"That's one of my top five favorite dolls," Emily hiccupped. "I've had her since I was little."

"I'll get you another doll," Rachel offered. "You can even have some of my old dolls. I don't play with them anymore."

"I don't want any of your dolls, tramp. I want Molly Dolly!"

Puck apologized to Rachel with his eyes. He knelt down to Emily's level and grabbed onto her shoulders, "What can I do to make you feel better?"

Emily screwed her eyes shut like she was thinking really hard. Finally, she said, "Got any money?"

"Forget it." Puck stood up.

Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled out a five.

"Here you go," she offered it to Emily.

Emily turned the bill over like a person checking for counterfeits before pocketing it herself.

"That will buy my silence about the doll, but not about your tramp stopping by."

"I told you, she's not a tramp. And I am not bargaining with you, tell mom whatever you want."

"Fine. I'll tell mom you made this mess, you forgot to feed me, and you destroyed my personal property. You'll be grounded for weeks; you probably won't even be allowed to go to your lame glee competition."

Puck was used to getting ultimatums from the women in his life. He decided just to go with it. "What are your demands?"

"You have to clean the whole house by yourself, you have to make me lunch, and you have to fix my doll…"

"I don't know if I can fix your doll," Puck said as Emily started to pout.

"Of course you can," Rachel said brightly. "All she needs is a little surgery—some glue and tape and she'll be as good as new."

Emily seemed a little unsure.

"Listen dweeb, you go upstairs and get the doctor's kit that was a part of your Halloween costume while I make you a sandwich."

Emily quickly bounded up the stairs and Puck turned to Rachel.

"You want me to perform surgery on a doll?"

"Oh come on, it'll be fun. I'll even be your nurse. What else were you planning on doing today?"

Puck couldn't remember, but he quickly decided that this was exactly how he wanted to spend his Saturday.

*******

"Glue."

"Check."

"Tape."

"There's some tape."

"Hold the head."

"I'm holding the head."

"Soda."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. I need a sip of soda."

Rachel rolled her eyes, but grabbed a can of cola that was sitting amidst the remnants of their lunch.

"Bring it up to my lips nurse, I'm doing a delicate procedure here," Puck said.

Rachel complied.

Puck rolled his shoulders, "My back is kind of sore. Nurse, could you give it a little rub?"

"Nice try Doctor, but I think you should be focusing on the _patient_."

Puck figured it had been worth a shot.

"Is she fixed yet?" Emily asked nervously.

Puck pressed the plastic stethoscope that was around his neck against the doll and stated in his professional opinion, "Not yet, but she's got a good…er…heartbeat..in her…face."

Rachel, who was sporting a paper hat with a red cross on it, leaned in to confirm the diagnosis, "I think you mean that she has a good pulse in her carotid artery."

"Whatever."

Puck grabbed another piece of tape and stuck it on the doll's neck. Puck couldn't deny that he had previously had dreams where he was a doctor. Admittedly, in those dreams he was either in a porno or playing the George Clooney role on _ER_—not operating on his little sister's doll.

Once the head was attached, Puck shook the doll to make sure the thing wasn't going to fall off. When it didn't, he declared his job was done,

"Wait," Rachel said. She grabbed a band-aid with a sparkly silver hologram on it and stuck it over Puck's handy-work. "Now she's all set."

Emily reached for the doll and then gently cradled it in her arms.

"Thanks Rachel."

"What am I, chopped fish guts?" Puck asked.

"Yes you are. Don't forget, you still have to clean up this mess Noah."

"Fine, go watch a movie or something."

"Okay."

Before racing out of the room, Emily gave Puck a quick one-armed hug around his neck.

Puck returned the hug and then told her to "Beat it."

"She's cute," Rachel observed as Emily left.

"If you like demons," Puck grumbled as he stood up.

"I like her." Rachel continued, "She has a good imagination. She's lucky to have such a sweet brother."

Puck wasn't used to getting compliments, so he just shrugged in response.

"I mean it. As an only child, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a sibling to share things with."

"Well, you can borrow mine."

Rachel looked around at the messy state of the house, "I think I'll pass. I will help you clean up though."

Puck was grateful. He and Rachel spent the next hour picking up clothes, vacuuming, and just straightening up. When they were done, they went into Puck's room. While Rachel looked at his CD collection, Puck checked his phone—still no new messages. He put the phone in his pocket and went over to Rachel to talk about music. Several hours later, they were still talking about their preferences.

"I can't believe you hate the Beatles. That's blasphemy," Puck said.

"I don't hate them. I'm just not all that familiar."

"Well get familiar. You should also listen to the Rolling Stones, Radiohead and Nine inch Nails. Your common knowledge of good music is sorely lacking."

"Show-tunes are good music. I have over a hundred soundtracks from different Broadway musicals. That music can be so inspiring. It showcases the triumph of the human spirit."

"I've never even been to one of those plays. I just don't get the characters in them; they burst into song at any time and they sing about anything."

Imitating an opera singer, Puck bellowed, "I'm waking up in the morning, and now I'm brushing my teeth. I have to go to the bathroom, no wait I don't have to go, oh yes I do, oh now I don't, but now I dooooo!!!!" He dragged out the last note.

"Stop," Rachel laughed. "I admit that there are some musicals out there that are not for everyone. However, I really think you would enjoy the experience if you went to the right show. I could pick one out, and we could go together."

Puck paused. Going to a play with Rachel wouldn't really serve any greater purpose. Finn and Quinn were already jealous, and the whole school already knew they were together. Plus, plays weren't really his thing.

Rachel noticed his hesitation. She bit her lip, "If you don't want to, that's completely fine…"

Strangely enough, Puck did want to go despite the reasons he had against it. He did think of one condition though.

Puck got off his bed and walked over to his stacks of CDs. He picked three and threw them over to Rachel.

"I'll go to the play, if you promise to listen to these CDs. They are life changing."

Rachel looked them over.

"I want you to just listen though," Puck instructed. "Don't analyze it, don't over-think it, just feel the music and let it wash over you."

"I promise," Rachel said. "And I will look for the perfect play to take you to. I am going to change your mind about the performing arts."

"You can certainly try," Puck grinned.

"Noah," the irritating voice that had blissfully remained quiet for the past few hours now yelled. "It's dinnertime."

Rachel glanced out the window and saw that the sun had in fact gone down. She couldn't believe that she had spent so many hours talking to Puck in his bedroom. It was weird, but she was a bit sad that she had to leave.

"I need to get home," Rachel said.

"Okay. I'll walk you downstairs since it's feeding time at the zoo."

Puck and Rachel stopped when they had reached the front door. Puck was suddenly reminded of something.

"Hey Rachel, you never got a chance to tell me why you decided to stop by."

"Oh…I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me at practice. I know you have feelings for Quinn, but you defended me anyway. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate it."

"It wasn't a big deal. She shouldn't have said that about you in the first place."

Puck watched as Rachel turned to leave when he heard the approach of slippered feet.

"Aren't you gonna kiss her goodbye?" Emily asked.

"What?"

"You said she's your girlfriend," she pointed out.

Puck could not believe that this little gremlin was trying to dictate his love-life. Puck looked at Rachel to see if she had reacted badly.

Rachel seemed to be amused and charmed by Emily. "Yeah, aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" she mimicked.

Oh hell, if she didn't think he had the guts to do it, then she was wrong.

Puck grasped Rachel, bent her backwards into a low dip, and kissed her firmly for several seconds. Only when he felt a slight tweak from his already sore back muscles did Puck bring Rachel up and release her. She swayed slightly on her feet after having been caught so off guard.

"Wow," she whispered.

Damn straight, Puck thought to himself.

"I guess I'll see you in school on Monday," Rachel said while straightening out her shirt.

"Yeah, you will. Don't forget to listen to those CDs."

"I won't. Good-Bye."

"Bye." Puck shut the front door.

"Happy now?" Puck asked Emily.

"Not really. I'm still hungry."

Puck jumped up slightly when he felt a vibration in his pocket from his phone. This could be important.

"Go order a pizza," Puck told Emily.

She grumbled, but went into the kitchen to do so.

Puck pulled out his phone and saw the name of the person he had been waiting for—_Quinn_.

Puck couldn't believe that she was actually calling him back. Maybe she wanted to apologize for the gossip, or maybe she wanted to tell him that she had finally broken up with Finn and that she wanted a family with him.

Nah.

More than likely, Quinn was calling to yell at him for bothering her. She was probably going to remind him to keep his mouth shut about their secret or she was going to bad-mouth Rachel.

The phone in his hand continued to buzz. The more Puck stared at the name _Quinn _flashing on the tiny screen, the less he wanted to actually answer the phone. After the nice day he had had with Rachel (and Emily), he just didn't feel like talking anymore. He was sick of all the crap. As he walked into the kitchen, he felt the vibrations stop; and at this particular moment, he didn't even care.


	13. Chapter 13

Puck was in a good mood.

He was walking down the hallways of the high school whistling like Snow freakin' White.

Usually, he hated waking up on Monday mornings. When he was younger, he had tried every trick in the book to extend his weekends: turning back the clocks, faking a high temperature, or slowly letting the air out of the tires on his mother's car.

Today, however, he had gotten up the moment his alarm had sounded. After getting dressed, he had even had a pleasant breakfast with his mother and sister. Since Rachel had helped him defuse the whole doll situation, Emily had given his mother a good report about their weekend alone. As a reward, his mom was going to order Puck's favorite takeout for dinner.

In addition to the promise of tasty mooshu pork, Puck was also looking forward to talking to Rachel. He wanted to know if she had listened to the CDs he had given her. Puck was hoping she liked them because he knew that Rachel was at least partially open to different genres of music. After all, he had been at the assembly where glee had sung "Push it," a number that had made him notice some of Rachel's best attributes—mostly her rack.

Puck started replaying that performance in his head as he put some of his stuff away in his locker.

Puck was singing—_Push it/Push it real good_—quietly to himself when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Confident that he knew who it was, Puck placed his last book (which he pretty much carried around for show since it had never been opened) on the shelf and asked, "Did you like the CDs?"

"What CDs?"

Puck spun around and was greeted with the sight of Quinn, his very own baby mama.

His stomach sank along with his good mood.

"Oh, hey Quinn. I thought you were somebody else."

Quinn had a sour look on her face. "I got your calls, all fifty of them."

Puck immediately felt a bit sheepish. "Sorry about that."

"The funny thing is, I called you back but you didn't pick up."

"I changed my mind."

Quinn got mad. "You changed your mind? I hope you're not planning on changing your mind about anything else, especially not our arrangement. I swear Puck, if you say anything I will just deny it."

Puck looked Quinn straight in the eyes. "I won't say anything. The reason I didn't answer the phone is because I finally realized that you are right."

"I am?" Quinn said seeming startled.

"Yes. You told me that you didn't want me involved, that you wanted to handle everything by yourself. I thought about it, and I decided that I am not going to interfere."

Quinn's eyes narrowed. "Is this some kind of trick. Are you trying to lull me into a false sense of security?"

Puck rubbed his mohawk in frustration. "No, it's not a trick. You made your choice, you said you wanted Finn. Personally, I don't get it since the guy uses both his fingers and his toes to count to ten, but whatever. I am done hanging around in places that I am not wanted."

Quinn's features softened with what Puck guessed to be pity. "I don't know what to say except thank you."

The last thing Puck wanted was somebody feeling sorry for him. He was only agreeing to stay away because frankly, he needed a break from Quinn and Finn. He hated having to keep up the lie when he was around them. Plus, desperately pleading his case with Quinn had yet to work, and he was sick of acting like a pansy ass around her. Some distance might be good for all of them.

Puck stared over Quinn's shoulder and was relieved to see Rachel close-by. He smiled at her, letting her know it was okay to interrupt. With caution, Rachel approached.

"Hi Quinn. Hi Puck."

Quinn gave a slight nod and said, "I was just leaving."

Quinn walked around the corner but remained within earshot so that she could eavesdrop.

"So," Rachel started.

"So," Puck echoed.

"So, how's Molly Dolly? Is her head still attached?"

_Who the hell is Molly Dolly? Quinn wondered._

Puck let out a relieved laugh. "I put so much tape and glue on that thing. I bet it could survive a nuclear winter."

"That's good, I guess. Just be careful where you step from now on. I don't want to have to assist at any more operations." Rachel leaned in close and whispered, "In case you didn't know, I'm not a real nurse."

"Well, I couldn't tell. You could be my nurse any day."

_Ewwww, Quinn thought. Were Puck and Rachel into some kind of kinky role-playing game?_

Rachel felt a flush creep up her cheeks. To keep herself from getting distracted, she rooted around in her backpack before pulling out two small pieces of thick paper.

"Guess what?" she asked.

"Chicken butt," Puck automatically responded.

"Did you seriously just say that?"

"Sorry, fourth-grade reflex."

"I'll be more specific," Rachel waved the papers, "Guess what these are."

"They look like tickets."

"Tickets to…" she prompted.

Puck had a sneaking guess what the tickets were for, but he decided to mess with her a little bit.

"Tickets to…the movies…an art show…the ballet? I so love the ballet."

Rachel stamped her foot. "Be serious."

"I am being serious. I would never joke about my love of exploring culture."

"Fine, I am not going to tell you." Rachel acted like she was going to put the tickets away.

"Aw Rachel, I was just kidding." Puck's curiosity was piqued.

"Forget it."

"Come on," Puck pleaded

"Nope."

"Please?"

Rachel pretended to pause.

_Quinn was prepared to go and grab the tickets herself in order to stop the vomit-inducing flirtation._

Rachel ended Puck's (and Quinn's) misery by saying, "Okay I'll tell you. I scoured several entertainment websites last night and read dozens of reviews. I finally found a musical that I think you will enjoy. These tickets are for next weekend. We're in the upper mezzanine."

"That's…" Puck searched for the right word to accurately convey his feelings, "…soon. I didn't think Lima had stuff like that close by."

"It doesn't. We'll have to drive for two hours to get there."

"I have to drive two hours to go see some dumb play?"

Rachel put her hands on Puck's chest, "It'll be worth it, I promise."

Puck raised one eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because, this play has mystery."

"And?"

"And intrigue."

"And?"

"And fighting."

"Is that all?"

"It's also got a great score, an excellent cast, good direction, passion, romance, and a beautiful love story."

Puck yawned. Rachel could tell that she was losing him, so she pulled out the big guns.

"It's also got nudity."

Puck perked up immediately. "Really?"

"Tons of it, in at least three scenes."

"How do I know you're telling the truth? This doesn't sound like a play that you'd be into," Puck said skeptically.

Rachel defended herself. "I'm no prude. I'm not against showing the human form in a raw way as long as the scenes are not gratuitous and they are dictated by the storyline."

Puck put his hand under his chin and pretended to think for a second. "Okay, you convinced me."

"Men," Rachel muttered.

"Wait," Puck looked worried, "this play has chicks right? The last thing I want is to drive for two hours and show up at some play that's like a Chippendale's performance. Just so we're clear, I like girls…and boobs…together." He glanced at Rachel's chest to emphasize his point.

Rachel thought back to their drunken escapade. "I remember. Don't worry, the play has girls. I promise."

Puck muttered something about double-checking to make sure.

Rachel's eyes took in Puck's ripped jeans, Converse sneakers, and gray hoodie, and made a suggestion, "Although I'm probably the last person you want to take fashion advice from, you should try to dress nicely when we go to the play."

Puck looked down at his clothes. "What's wrong with the clothes I have on? I got them on special at K-mart."

"Not a thing," Rachel said hurriedly. "It's just that, I want us to make a good impression. Looking nice will only enhance your viewing experience. I'll dress up too."

Puck groaned. He could already tell this was going to be torture.

_Continuing to listen, Quinn couldn't help but agree with Rachel on this one. Puck would look good in a suit._

Rachel immediately noticed his reluctance and tried to smooth things over. "Forget I mentioned it, you'll look good in anything."

Puck's ears perked up; that last statement was interesting.

Rachel got flustered. "I don't mean anything…no guy looks good in skinny jeans…but formal wear could only enhance your natural attributes…I mean dark colors really make your eyes pop…but who's gonna look at your eyes when you're so built…"

Puck stood there waiting to see how deep of a hole Rachel was going to dig herself into; at this rate she could probably reach halfway to China by noon.

Rachel took a deep breath and decided to change topics. "Hey, I listened to some of the songs you recommended yesterday."

Puck felt his good mood coming back to him. "What'd you think?"

"Jury's still out. There's just so much noise, it's hard to wrap my head around everything."

Puck pointed a finger, "Are you over-thinking?"

"Thinking is not a bad thing Noah. If you tried it once in awhile, you might get better grades."

Puck grasped his chest like he had been wounded.

"Hey, getting a C- average every semester takes a lot of hard work and dedication. I have to stay awake for most of the classes, Wikipedia tons of info for papers, and intentionally sit next to nerds for copying purposes. It's exhausting."

"Uh-huh." Rachel was not impressed.

Realizing the time, she held out her arm. "Walk me to class?"

Puck tucked her arm in his. "If you think I'm smart enough to get us there. Hope I don't bump into any walls."

"It's okay, "Rachel said reassuringly. "I'll lead."

Puck and Rachel walked off as Quinn sagged against the lockers. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Apparently, Rachel had spent some time at Puck's house and he had given her music to listen to. Quinn didn't even want to venture a guess as to what they were doing with a thing called Molly Dolly. Now, they were planning on seeing a play together that contained naked people. Quinn had to admit that they seemed pretty comfortable with each other. When Quinn had spread those rumors around about Rachel, she had no idea that they might actually be true.

Quinn knew that she should be relieved. Puck was finally backing off. When he told her that he wasn't going to call anymore, she had believed him. It had worked out perfectly. Puck had Rachel and Quinn had Finn. She should be feeling happy right now. Ecstatic even.

But, the one thing that Quinn felt was alone.

*******

Quinn was spending the lunch period by herself in an empty classroom. One of her teachers said it was okay to be in there due to her "special circumstances."

Mostly, Quinn was hanging around the classroom in order to avoid Finn. Whenever Finn talked about "their" baby girl, Quinn grew uneasy. Lately, that feeling had grown in intensity. She kept telling herself she was doing the right thing over and over as if repeating the saying would somehow make it true.

While pacing in front of the chalkboard, Quinn heard an unmistakable voice in the hallway say, "I'll be back, I gotta go take a leak."

It was Puck.

Quinn also heard Rachel's response, "Okay, I have to stop at the library anyway. I'll meet you back here in a few minutes."

Quinn risked taking a peak into the hallway and saw that Puck was walking in her direction.

Quinn felt her pulse quicken. She knew she should just stay put and let him pass. Just a few more seconds and he would be gone. Quinn saw a flash of a gray hoodie in the doorway.

Screw it.

Before she could rethink her decision, Quinn pulled Puck into the classroom with her.

"What the hell?" Puck was momentarily confused until he saw who had grabbed him.

"Why'd you do that? For a second I thought I was being kidnapped by some crazy ninjas."

Quinn bit her tongue before she could ask Puck in what universe would ninjas kidnapping a high school student from Ohio be a probable occurrence.

Puck noticed Quinn giving him a look and muttered, "It's just an expression."

Quinn exhaled slowly. "No ninjas, it's just me."

Puck looked around at the dark and empty classroom.

"Why are you in here by yourself?"

"Just wanted some time to think."

Puck looked deep into Quinn's eyes as if trying to read her mind.

"It looks like you're thinking some pretty heavy thoughts. Care to share?"

Quinn turned her back to Puck to get away from his close scrutiny.

"I've been thinking about everything, comparing where I was last year to where I am now. Last year at this time, I was popular, a Cheerio, a true member of the Celibacy Club," she paused, "oh yeah, and I wasn't a mother."

"So you've been having a crap-tastic year so far." Puck pointed out.

Quinn took on a more teasing tone, "All those things changed because of you."

"What? I'm only responsible for the last two, the celibacy thing and the whole baby thing." Puck scratched his head and thought for a second, "Although I guess you got kicked off the squad because of the whole baby thing, and then you lost popularity because of that too."

"That's right," Quinn moved closer. Rachel wasn't the only girl who could flirt at this school. "You played a large role in all of those things. So, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Puck thought of a dozen different ways to answer that question, he could apologize profusely, he could defend himself and refuse to take all the blame, he could try to joke his way out, or he could head straight for the window (they were only two stories up, he figured he probably wouldn't even break any bones).

He settled for something simple.

"Oops."

"Oops?" Quinn thought she had misheard him.

"Oops," Puck repeated. "It means, my bad, my fault, I'm a douche. You get the gist."

"I do. You can be so charming when you want to be," Quinn said only slightly kidding.

Puck winked.

Quinn's voice got softer, "That's why I was with you that night. Because you were so sweet. Not like how you normally act in school—like a sleaze that has to hit on every girl with a short skirt and a pulse."

"Not true," Puck said, "I don't hit on every girl. I check for cankles first. I can't date someone with cankles, they freak me out."

Quinn ignored that remark, and tried not to glance self-consciously down at her swelling feet. She decided to take a more direct approach. She was searching for some kind of answer from Puck; she just didn't know what she wanted to hear.

"You ever think about that night?" Quinn asked.

Puck felt like he was being set up. He had seen Candid Camera, he knew the drill. He shifted uncomfortably because he didn't know what to say and because his bladder was dangerously full.

Quinn continued. "You make me want things I shouldn't want and do things I shouldn't do."

Puck gulped. "I thought things were going good with Finn."

"They are. He got a job and he wants to help out. He's being very supportive."

Good ol' Finn, Puck thought.

"That's…um…nice."

Quinn stared at the ground, "How's Rachel? You two are pretty much attached at the hip these days."

"Good." Puck replied.

"Doesn't her voice grate on your nerves after a while?"

At first, it kinda did. But now, Puck had gotten used to it.

"Nah, if she talks too long, I can just zone out and make the noise sound like Charlie Brown's teacher."

"It doesn't seem like you two would have anything in common to talk about," Quinn said. "I mean she's the type of person who loves to go to plays and you're not."

Puck chuckled. "Rachel's actually dragging me to a play this weekend. I don't care what she says about proper theatre etiquette though, I'm not dressing up and I'm bringing snacks."

"She probably lied and said there would be pretty girls in it," Quinn prompted.

Puck shrugged.

Quinn's tone got harsher. "I guess it's…endearing…that she's trying to mold you into a perfect boyfriend. Just don't let her pick out any of your clothes like you're some Ken doll."

Puck shifted even more.

Quinn continued on her hunt. "I bet she's never even heard of some of the bands that you listen to. Your music is probably too loud and cluttered for her. In no time, she'll probably get you to give up on rock in favor of pop or show tunes."

Puck initially looked horrified, "That will never happen."

His eyes narrowed, "Why are you trying to turn me against Rachel."

"Because you guys won't last long…your personalities don't match. Everyone in glee just tolerates her diva act and spoiled behavior."

"You sound jealous of her," Puck astutely pointed out.

"She's trying to change you," Quinn squeaked in avoidance of the comment.

"So, you didn't want me, but you don't want Rachel to have me either?"

"Yes…no…I don't know!" Quinn burst out.

Puck grabbed both sides of Quinn's face. "Listen to me," he paused, "Are you listening?"

Quinn nodded.

"I know you're all freaked out and whatever because you have like a little person growing inside you and junk." Puck was having trouble trying to capture the magnitude of the situation in words. "But, you need to make a choice. Do you want Finn or do you want me?"

Quinn sputtered to a give an answer. "It's a non-issue. I'm dating Finn, and I'm giving the baby up for adoption."

Puck maintained eye contact. "But who…do you want?"

"Finn?"

Puck stroked her cheek.

"Or me?"

Puck's close proximity made it difficult for Quinn to breathe and think. His penetrating stare demanded that she tell him the truth.

In a voice barely above a whisper, Quinn said, "Both. I want you both."

Before Puck had time to respond, Quinn raised her face to meet his face; she pressed her lips against his lips, and kissed him in desperation.

Puck was stunned, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Quinn and moved closer. He had been waiting for this moment for months.

Since Puck's back was to the door, he failed to notice the pair of big, brown eyes that were peering through the glass from the hallway.

When Puck hadn't come back quickly from the bathroom, Rachel had gone looking for him.

Well, she had found him and his new blonde appendage.

Having seen enough, Rachel rushed away from the door. If she had stayed a minute longer, she would have seen Quinn suddenly break away from the kiss and run out of the room. She would have also seen Puck standing alone in the middle of the room looking angry, hurt, and confused (and uncomfortable because now he really, really, really had to pee).


	14. Chapter 14

Puck stood in the school parking lot. He unlocked the back door to his car and threw his backpack on the floor. As he went to get into the driver's seat, he saw Rachel walking toward him at a furious pace. Puck figured she was probably mad because he hadn't met back up with her at lunch like they had planned. The whole encounter with Quinn had freaked him out though, and he had spent the rest of the day hanging out under the bleachers.

Puck put on his most apologetic face and prepared to beg for his life if necessary.

"Hey Rachel, I've been looking for you. Sorry I didn't meet you during lunch when I went to the bathroom." Puck grabbed his stomach with both hands, "Bad tacos." Puck knew that the grosser the excuse, the fewer the number of questions would be asked.

Rachel stopped a few feet away from Puck. She didn't seem too impressed with his explanation.

In a determined voice, Rachel said, "I wish to terminate our business arrangement."

Puck didn't know what the hell she was talking about. "What?"

Rachel refused to meet his eyes. "I would like to renege on our deal."

"Come again?"

"I…I'm…breaking up with you," Rachel struggled to get out.

Puck wasn't sure what he had been expecting her to say, but that wasn't it.

"You're breaking up with me," Puck repeated the words slowly so as to give his brain time to process them.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Rachel kept her focus on the ground. "Because I realized that I don't have any more time to waste on this…" Rachel gestured toward herself and then Puck,"…thing between us…this distraction. I have more important things to focus on."

Puck was insulted. "You can't break up with me," he asserted.

Rachel became indignant. "Yes I can, we're not even really dating. Therefore, all I am doing right now is pretend breaking up with you after our imaginary relationship."

Puck wasn't sure why this was bothering him so much, but it did.

"I thought we were having a good time," he stated.

Rachel lowered her voice. "We were. But I was just acting, you know, playing a role. I know you don't care about me. We're not really friends."

Rachel took in Puck's surprised expression. "Come on Puck, none of this was real. Don't tell me you believe in unicorns too."

Puck noticed that Rachel was distancing herself from him by no longer calling him Noah.

"I know we're just pretending." He pointed a finger at Rachel, "Have you forgotten the whole reason we started doing this in the first place?"

Rachel shrugged. "We wanted to make Quinn and Finn jealous so that they would break up with each other."

"Has that happened yet?" Puck answered his own question, "No. Therefore, we need to keep doing what we're doing."

Puck was hoping she would see things his way.

"It's only a matter a time," Rachel said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Puck asked.

"I saw you."

"You saw me?"

"Yes, I saw you."

Puck wasn't sure what she was referring to. "Is this like the _Sixth Sense_? I see dead people," he joked.

Rachel decided to clarify. "I saw you…with Quinn…at lunch."

Damn.

Rachel rushed on, "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you. I'm glad the plan worked."

Puck said the following words carefully. "What exactly did you see?"

"I came to find you when you didn't show up. I walked by a classroom and saw you and Quinn kissing. I didn't stay and spy or anything, I left right away."

So Rachel hadn't seen Quinn storming out, and leaving him high and dry.

"What about you and Finn?" Puck thought to ask. "Do you think he'll want to be with you now?"

Rachel waved her hand in dismissal. "It doesn't matter."

Puck wasn't sure he believed her. "You don't…like…Finn anymore?" he said while trying to keep a casual tone. It's not like he cared who Rachel liked or anything.

"It's not that," Rachel said as Puck's shoulders slumped. "I just feel weird about the whole thing now. I can't believe I was so willing to mess with people's lives. I should be concentrating more on school and glee and less on boys."

"If that's what you want to do," Puck shrugged since Rachel seemed like she had her mind made up.

Puck leaned against the side of his car. "Get on with it then."

Rachel was curious, "Get on with what?"

"I think you were in the middle of dumping me," he teased.

Rachel smiled. "I thought I already did it."

"After what we've been through, I think I deserve a little more than a generic 'I'm breaking up with you.'"

"I've never broken up with anyone before," Rachel stated.

"Well, here's your chance to practice. Make it good," Puck warned.

It took Rachel a few moments to get the cheerful look off her face.

"Noah," she started in a serious tone, "there's something I have to tell you. I'm afraid things just aren't working out."

"Good start," he approved. "Keep going."

"I've enjoyed the time we've spent together, but I think it's best if we go our separate ways."

"Oh my god, are you breaking up with me!" Puck said in a mock hysterical tone. He was good at pretend crying because it could be used to help him get what he wanted. "I thought what we had was real. You know something special, something worth fighting for."

Rachel looked around the parking lot to see if they were drawing attention as she heard Puck wail, "I can change!"

Thankfully, there were only a few other cars in the lot.

She bit her lip to keep in character. "What do I say next?" Rachel whispered.

Puck stopped his pretend sobbing for a second, "Say, it's not you, it's me."

Rachel took his advice. "It's not you, it's me. I've decided to make some changes in my own life, and I am not in a good place right now to give you the time and attention you deserve."

"That's right," Puck responded in a high girly voice. "I have needs. I deserve someone who will put me first. I am intelligent, hardworking, and extremely attractive, and you aren't worthy of me!"

Rachel could barely contain her laughter. "Thanks for understanding. Can I have a hug good-bye?"

Puck got in a few last sniffs. "I guess that would be okay."

Rachel stepped forward and Puck wrapped his arms around her. Puck held on for a few extra seconds because this really did feel like a good-bye.

They finally broke apart.

"I guess I'll see you around school and at practice," Rachel said.

Puck suddenly thought of something. "What about the play? You bought the tickets already."

"I won't make you go to that," Rachel said. "I lied. There's only two scenes with nudity, and one of them has a guy."

"I'd go anyway for you."

"That's because you're a good person."

Out of all the things Rachel could have said, Puck wished it hadn't been that. He wasn't a good person. He had lied to her from the start, and he had used her. Puck didn't want to lie anymore; he owed Rachel the truth. He could care less about the consequences.

"I'm not you know."

"You're not what?"

"I'm not a good person."

Puck could see Rachel open her mouth to tell him he was wrong. Puck didn't want that, he didn't want any praise when he didn't deserve it.

Puck opened his own mouth and let the words that he had been holding in for months finally escape.

"Finn's not the father of Quinn's baby."

Rachel dreaded the answer. "Then who is?"

"I am."

SMACK!!!

Puck had barely finished his declaration when he felt a sharp sting on his right cheek.

He couldn't believe it, Rachel had slapped him.

*********

Rachel couldn't believe it, she had actually slapped him. She hadn't planned on doing it, but she had heard the words "I am" and "the father" and her hand had shot out immediately.

She watched as Puck rubbed the side of his face.

"Sorry." She apologized even though she wasn't feeling all that remorseful.

"It's okay, I deserved it.

"You did deserve it."

A part of Rachel wanted to believe that Puck was just messing with her, but she knew it wasn't true. Several pieces of information clicked in Rachel's brain at once. Puck had approached Rachel of all people. He was the one who had come up with the scheme. On multiple occasions, Rachel had been confused when Puck had questioned Finn's ability/right to take care of a child. When Puck had driven her home, he told Rachel about his dad being absent and how that had adversely affected him.

It all made sense. Puck was telling the truth.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Rachel really wanted to know. "You don't owe me anything."

Puck moved his hand away from his face and put it down at his side. "I just wanted you to know."

Rachel was annoyed, insulted, and slightly pleased that Puck had told her. She wasn't going to let him know that though.

"Why now?" she repeated.

"Because it's been eating me up inside. I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. This lie has been all I can think about. I needed to say the words or I was going to freaking explode."

"So glad I could help you relieve your guilty conscience," Rachel said sarcastically. "You didn't have to tell me though. You could have talked to that empty dumpster over there and gotten the same effect; less judgment too."

"You're easy to talk to though," Puck mumbled.

Rachel was silent for a moment. She wondered how this whole mess got started.

"Why did you and Quinn hook up?"

"We were hanging out, having a few drinks, and certain things just happened…"

"And there's no chance that Finn could be the father?"

"No." Puck stated firmly. "He and Quinn never made it that far."

Rachel was confused. "Then how could he possibly think…"

Puck shrugged. "He skipped health class that day?" he ventured a guess. "Finn mentioned something about a hot tub and um…" Puck coughed into his hand, "an early arrival."

Rachel remembered Finn mumbling something to that effect. "Ew."

Rachel did her best to scour that image from her mind.

"Why haven't you just told Finn what happened?"

"That's not what Quinn wants." Puck sounded resentful.

"What about you? What do you want? Do you want to forget the whole thing and just chase after any girl you can get your hands on?"

"No! I love my kid, and I want to be a good dad but Quinn thinks I'm going to screw it up."

Rachel was disgusted. "That's crap. Quinn can't change a person's biology no matter how hard she tries. She obviously liked you enough to sleep with you, so she should let you be involved in making decisions."

"It doesn't matter what I do, either way I lose," Puck said. "If I don't tell the truth, then I lose my kid. If I do tell the truth, then Quinn will hate me forever and I will still lose my kid."

Rachel moved closer to reason with him. "What you're doing is wrong. You're messing with people's feelings. Finn has his hopes up so high. If he ever finds out, he will be devastated."

"So that's what you're really concerned about," Puck accused. "You're worried about poor Finn's feelings. If Finn finds out, he will be upset for a little while. Luckily, he'll have your waiting shoulder to cry on. Don't pretend you care about what's best for the baby. You're just as selfish as Quinn." He practically spat at her.

Rachel's palm was itching to give him another slap.

"I didn't create this mess: you did, and Quinn did. Don't you dare blame me for how it turned out."

Rachel turned to leave, and Puck grabbed her arm. "Please Rachel, don't tell Quinn I told you, and don't say anything to Finn."

Rachel pulled her arm away. "Coward. Something has to be done," she said vaguely.

She put her back to Puck and walked towards the school.

Puck shouted after her. "What are you going to do? Rachel, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?"

Rachel refused to look back because she had no idea what she was going to do with this volatile information. She needed to think about it.

Puck watched her go. He sagged against the truck. He was screwed. He knew Rachel. He knew that she wasn't going to keep her mouth shut. It was only a matter of time before this secret got out.


	15. Chapter 15

For once, Rachel was sick of the drama.

She had way too much going on in her life as it was. She had solos to rehearse, dance moves to practice, and stacks of headshots to autograph (you know, just in case her big break came along).

Rachel did not have the time or energy to deal with Puck's current mess.

If Rachel was being honest, she would have to admit that she was trying to avoid the situation because it left her totally confused. Even though she had an emotional maturity that exceeded well beyond her young years, Rachel wasn't too keen on blowing up this secret at all, let alone with Sectionals coming up. The other glee members were already distracted by the littlest things (food, technology, shiny objects). She didn't know what they would do with the info she now possessed or how it would affect the groups' dynamic, especially between Puck and Finn.

Rachel thought back a few hours to when Puck had told her the truth. He had seemed relieved that she knew, but then he begged her not to tell anyone else.

Keeping silent was not in Rachel's nature however; she even talked in her sleep. The more Rachel analyzed the situation, the more she realized that she couldn't sit idly by while Finn was being lied to, Puck was miserable, and Quinn was manipulating everyone.

Approaching the door that she had been standing in front of for the past five minutes, Rachel justified her actions by thinking, "It's better this way."

Rachel knocked three times before the door swung open.

A pleasant looking woman in her early forties answered. "Can I help you?"

Rachel plastered a smile on her face and stuck her hand out for a handshake. "Hi Mrs. Hudson. I'm friends with your son, he and I are in glee club together…well not by ourselves…there are ten other members…but he and I do a lot of the lead parts…he's a very talented singer for someone who has only recently started honing their craft. Anyway, I was just wondering if he was home, and if so, would it be alright if I spoke to him for a little while?"

Finn's mom felt like she had been physically assaulted with words. She grasped Rachel's hand and shook it. "You must be Rachel," she observed.

"How do you know my name?" Rachel questioned.

"Finn may have mentioned you a time or two." Mrs. Hudson held the door wide open. "Finn is supposed to be upstairs studying, which means he's probably playing video games. If you want to wait a minute, I'll call him down for you."

"Thanks." Rachel followed Finn's mom inside the house. She went upstairs to get Finn while Rachel looked around. The furniture in the living room looked worn but comfortable. The only reading material on the coffee table was the latest _TV Guide_ and a romance novel that had a bare-chested, kilt-wearing Scottish man holding a buxom blonde in a see-through nightgown near the edge of a cliff. Rachel sincerely hoped the book wasn't Finns'.

As she finished her quick perusal, Rachel heard Mrs. Finn knock loudly on a door on the second floor.

"What do you want Ma?" Rachel could barely make out Finn's voice.

"Can you come downstairs please?" his mom said.

"Can't it wait? I'm almost done with this level. All I have to do is get the bat to fly through the maze and have him take me to the antechamber in the cave. Then I can receive the gold medallion."

"It can't wait."

"Why?" Finn whined.

"A girl named Rachel is downstairs, that's why."

Rachel heard a loud thud (presumably the sound of some kind of controller hitting the ground) before she saw Finn racing down the stairs. By the time he reached the bottom, he was a little out of breath.

"Oh hey Rachel," Finn said smoothly. "My mom just told me that you dropped by."

"Yeah. I hope I'm not bothering you."

"You're not. We weren't supposed to meet up for something were we?"

Rachel shook her head. "No. I just needed to get out of my house for awhile."

Finn understood. "You wanna watch TV or something?"

Rachel decided to ease into the situation very gently. The last thing she wanted to do was to blurt out Quinn's secret without giving Finn a chance to figure it out for himself first.

"Do you mind if we just sit and talk?"

"Sure." Finn gestured to the dining room table and Rachel sat down.

Here goes nothing, she thought.

"Sorry to bother you again, I'm just really stressed about learning our new songs. This morning, I thought I felt a tickle in my throat and I'm afraid I might be getting sick. That is unacceptable. Plus, I have this huge Biology test coming up that I need to study for."

"Science can be tricky," Finn stated.

Rachel shifted in her seat. "Yeah, there's so much to learn about in terms of anatomy, genetics, and physiology." Rachel thought about Finn's tryst with Quinn in the hot tub and tried to be specific. "Did you know," she said slowly, "that proteins denature at very high temperatures?"

Finn had a glazed look on his face. "Oh, that's interesting."

Rachel clearly needed to spell things out more. "It is interesting. Actually, right now in class we're talking about conception. It's amazing to think that out of the thousands of sperm that are released into the female during intercourse, only a small percentage ever make it to the egg to even attempt fertilization. The distance they have to travel plays a large factor. So, being far away from the other person is a deterrent."

Finn cleared his throat to try and hide his discomfort.

Rachel noticed the bowl of fruit on the table, but quickly dismissed using a banana as a visual aid.

"When you really think about it, it's crazy that any one ever gets born." Rachel winced slightly at the oddity of that statement. Finn raised his eyebrows slightly, but did not comment.

"Uh huh. You want a soda?" Finn asked jumping up from his chair before Rachel could respond.

This was not going the way she had planned at all.

Rachel got up and followed Finn into the kitchen. He pulled out two cans of soda, and handed one to her.

"Thanks," Rachel said.

Finn leaned against the fridge. "Puck called me after school today. He wanted to know if I had talked to you. I thought that was kinda weird."

That mohawked sneak, Rachel thought angrily.

"We had a fight," Rachel confessed.

"I caught him looking at another girl," she fibbed.

"You want me to beat him up?" Finn said seriously.

Rachel was tempted to say yes. Maybe a few well placed blows would knock some sense through Pucks' thick skull.

"No," she stated reluctantly. "I can take care of myself. I just hate when people lie. What would you do if you found out someone was lying to you?"

Finn thought for a moment. "Depends on the type of lie. If it was a small lie, then I guess I could forgive and forget."

"What if it's a huge lie? A potentially life altering lie?" Rachel was growing more and more anxious.

Finn looked deep into Rachel's eyes, "Don't tell me that you've been lying to me…you're not really a man are you?" he joked.

Rachel smiled at him weakly. "I'm not the one who has been lying."

Finn kept his gaze steady. "Whatever it is Rachel, you can tell me. You're my friend, and I'll help you in any way I can."

"It's not my secret…"

Rachel started to say when Finn's mom entered the kitchen holding a large laundry basket filled with clothes.

"Sorry to interrupt honey, but could you fold these for me?"

Finn looked embarrassed that his mother still called him "honey."

"Sure mom," he mumbled.

"Thanks," she said as she handed him the basket and then left.

Finn grabbed a t-shirt and began folding. Rachel peered into the basket and saw a cute, green sweater.

"Trying a new look?" Rachel asked pointing toward the sweater.

Finn looked a little guilty. "That's Quinn's sweater."

"Why is your mom doing her laundry?"

"Because…Quinn is living here right now."

"What?!" Rachel yelped.

Finn took a defensive stance. "I kind of told her parents about the baby and they kicked her out."

"They actually kicked her out? Did they not get the memo that this is the twenty-first century, and that pregnant teens are not lepers and do not need to go into hiding to give birth."

Finn sighed. "What can I say, her dad's kind of a hardass. I told him that Quinn was having my baby, and he freaked out. He told Quinn that she was a disappointment and asked her to pack her stuff."

"That's awful." Rachel's concern was genuine. "Where is Quinn right now?"

"She's actually trying to talk to her mom. Her dad's supposed to be out of town for a few days and Quinn thought she could get her mom to see reason if he wasn't there."

Rachel looked Finn square in the eye. "Do you think Quinn can convince her mom to change her mind?"

Finn shook his head. "Realistically? No. Not while her dad is living there. But, maybe her mom can help out with money or something."

Rachel took a sip from her soda and thought. Clearly, this changed things. She couldn't tell Finn that the baby wasn't his if it meant that Quinn was going to be homeless.

She couldn't let it go though, not just yet.

Rachel tried a leading question. "Do we know anyone with normal parents?" She elaborated, "I mean I have two dads, you only have your mom, Quinn's dad is stuck in the past, and I bet half the kids at school have divorced parents."

"That's kind of depressing Rachel," Finn noted.

Rachel took another small sip. "Puck seems like he has a nice family. I haven't met his mom, but his sister is really cute."

"Emily is a little terror. She poured glue in my ear when I was over there once. To this day, I can't drive by an arts and crafts store." Finn tapped his left ear and shuddered in remembrance.

Rachel stifled a giggle. She thought back to the doll surgery and was glad that she and Puck had gotten off easy.

"Quinn's lucky that your mom is so cool," Rachel pointed out.

Finn let out a sigh of relief. "I know. I don't know what I would have done without her support."

"Have the three of you talked about Quinn's plans when the baby gets here?"

"Quinn wants the baby to be adopted. I've tried talking to her about alternatives, but she won't budge."

Rachel put her hand on Finn's shoulder in comfort.

Finn's eyes got misty. "I know in my head it's the right thing to do, but in here," he tapped his chest, "I'm having a hard time. I have dreams about it. In one of them, it's twenty years in the future, and a pretty girl with blonde hair approaches me and says she's my daughter. Then she asks why I didn't want her." Finn sniffled. "How can I know for sure that the adoptive parents are good people? What if they neglect her or forget to feed her or treat her differently because she's not really theirs?"

Rachel went from feeling sorry for Quinn to hating her. Quinn was forcing Finn to agonize over a child that wasn't even his. Rachel could put a stop to the lies right now.

Rachel felt a renewed sense of determination in her gut. The words "You're not the father" rose up the back of her throat, to the middle of her mouth, until they reached the tip of her tongue. The words were there, waiting to be spoken.

Rachel opened her mouth.

SLAM!!!

Rachel heard a loud noise that sounded like a door being opened and shut forcefully.

"Finn?" a watery voice called. "I need you. Where are you?"

Finn hastily wiped the moisture away from his eyes. "I'm in the kitchen," he called back.

Rachel barely had time to take a few steps away from Finn and retreat to the sink before Quinn entered the kitchen.

Quinn's eyes were red and swollen. She had been doing some crying of her own. Quinn snuck a quick glance at Rachel before she launched herself into Finn's arms.

Finn rubbed Quinn's back in small circles. "It's okay baby," he soothed. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"It was awful," Quinn hiccupped. "I thought I was making some progress with my mom, but then _he _showed up."

"Your dad?" Finn asked.

"Yes. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. He just pointed at the door and told me that I had made my choice."

"Did you tell him what we talked about before…you know…about how Jesus preached forgiveness and stuff."

Quinn pushed some wet strands of hair off her face. "I did say that. You know what he replied?" Quinn asked bitterly. "He said that Jesus never had to deal with a slutty daughter."

Rachel winced. That statement was harsh. Once again, Rachel felt a tiny bit sorry for Quinn. Rachel was beginning to feel emotionally drained. This visit to Finn's house had more ups and downs than a Whitney Houston song.

With Quinn's dramatic entrance, Rachel knew that her opportunity to tell Finn had passed. That didn't mean she couldn't let Quinn know that she knew.

"It's really too bad," Rachel spoke up.

While still in Finn's arms, Quinn's eyes narrowed. "What's too bad?"

Rachel's gaze traveled from Quinn's eyes to her stomach and then back to her face. "It's too bad that we can't choose who our parents are."

Quinn's whole body tensed as Rachel continued. "I mean, mistakes happen. People sometimes end up with the wrong people. Wouldn't it be great if a person could just wipe the slate clean? Of course, the only way to do that now would be to lie. You can't change biology, it is what it is."

Realization dawned in Quinn's eyes. Somehow, Rachel had learned the truth about the baby's paternity.

Quinn stepped back from Finn and looked at Rachel. This was between them.

"Some people aren't meant to be parents," Quinn stated.

Rachel took a step closer to her. "It may appear that way on the outside. But, some people deserve the chance to prove themselves."

Quinn inched forward. "Maybe said person was given a chance and he failed."

Rachel advanced further. "What about giving a second or third chance just to make sure? Lying is wrong no matter how you justify it."

Quinn took another step. "Sometimes, lying is necessary," she hissed.

They were now nose against nose. "Lies can't last forever," Rachel asserted.

"They can if people keep their mouths shut," Quinn threatened.

"Excuse me," Finn interrupted, "But are you speaking in some kind of Girl Code? I have no idea what you're talking about."

Quinn kept her eyes locked with Rachel's. "We're done talking."

Rachel held her ground. "For now," she vowed.

Quinn backed away first and went next to Finn.

Rachel tried not to show that she was a bit flustered. "I should get going. I'll see you both in school tomorrow."

Rachel practically fled out of the kitchen and into the dining room to retrieve her coat. She was peeved that she had failed to do what she had set out to do. Finn was still being duped and Quinn was still being deceitful and Puck...and Puck…Rachel still didn't know what to think about Puck.

Part of Rachel had always sensed that Puck was struggling with something, especially in the last few days. But, Rachel reasoned, what teenaged guy wouldn't be at least a little bit relieved that he didn't have to take care of a kid—no child support payments, no crying, no changing dirty diapers. Then again, Puck had told her the truth. He had trusted Rachel. Did that mean he had genuine feelings for her, or that he was just relieving a guilty conscience?

Rachel acknowledged as she walked out the front door, that she was leaving Finn's house more confused than when she had come in.

Until Rachel sorted everything out, she was going to remain silent.

She would keep Quinn's secret.

For now.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay between updates. I just started a new job, and my family is dealing with some health issues. I hope to get this fic wrapped up within the next couple of chapters or so. Thanks for reading! **

"You did it guys. You won Sectionals."

Puck watched as Mr. Schu raised the trophy they had won over the weekend high above his head.

Each glee club member clapped appreciatively at the symbol of their great achievement, while Kurt wiped away tears of joy from his eyes.

For a while, Puck hadn't been sure that they would have been able to pull off the victory.

The past week had been tense, to say the least.

Puck had been avoiding Finn, Quinn had been avoiding him, and Rachel had been avoiding both of them. Artie and Tina had had some kind of argument and weren't getting along, Mercedes had been clashing with Rachel, Santana and Britney were in their own little world being secretive about something, and Finn was preoccupied with worrying about a kid that wasn't his (Puck had to admit that that last one was totally his bad).

At Sectionals, Puck had gotten so nervous when he saw those juvie girls belting their hearts out while shakin' what their mamas gave them. And while listening to those deaf kids honking, Puck had to admit that he was moved by their performance (damn his emotions).

Puck had thought that _New Directions_ would for sure get their asses kicked and then promptly handed back to them.

Rachel had saved it for the group though. Her ballad had been amazing. Puck had wanted to tell her how impressed he was after the performance, but she hadn't given him the chance. Not that he could blame her for walking away; he had screwed up big time.

Now that Sectionals was over, Puck was worried because there was really no reason for Rachel to keep quiet about his secret anymore. He knew that it was only a matter of time before her conscience got the better of her; forcing her to spill her guts to Finn. Puck was fully expecting Finn to show up to school one day and just start swinging at his face. That's why Puck continued to work on his biceps by lifting weights; you know, in case he needed to defend himself by bringing out the gun show.

So far, Finn had said nothing and Rachel continued to avoid his gaze.

Mr. Schu gave the trophy one last good shake, and then he set it down on the floor.

"I can't begin to tell you just how proud I am of all of you. You worked hard and it paid off. But…"

Why is there always a but? Puck thought.

Mr. Schu continued, "But…Regionals is right around the corner. The competition is going to be like nothing like you have ever seen before. These other teams eat, sleep, and breathe glee club. They have the songs, the choreography, the experience, and the determination to win."

"Way to harsh our mellow Mr. Schu," Artie called from his chair.

"Sorry, I'm not trying to freak you guys out. I'm only trying to prepare you for the hard work that is to come."

"You really think we have a shot against those other teams?" Mercedes asked.

Mr. Schu turned his head; looking at every single student in the eye. "Absolutely."

Tina (whose stutter, Puck noticed, had seemingly disappeared) was feeling pessimistic. "You said so yourself. They will have more experience and training. What do we have to use against them?"

Mr. Schu clutched both hands to his chest. "Heart. You have heart. You are all different individuals who bring unique talents to the table."

He gestured to Brittany, Santana, and Mike. "We have great dancers." He pointed towards Puck and Artie, "Great musicians." He looked at Rachel and Mercedes, "And I think a few of you can even sing." The whole group let out a relieved laugh.

Mr. Schu knitted his fingers together. "The point of this little speech is that you guys are stronger together than you are apart. But…"

Puck rolled his eyes. Oh great, another but.

"I've noticed some friction within the group for the past few weeks. Does any one want to tell me what's been going on?"

The students shifted uncomfortably, but no one spoke.

Mr. Schu let the silence stretch on for a bit longer before breaking it himself. "I thought that might be your answer. So, I have come up with a little exercise for us to try." Mr. Schu grabbed a cowboy hat and some paper from his small side office in the choir room.

Puck was intrigued. He had a fondness for cowboy hats because he could totally rock one.

He watched as Mr. Schu ripped the paper into strips, and then passed one out to each student. When everyone had one, Mr. Schu returned to the center of the room.

"Okay guys, here is what I want you to do. On your slip of paper, I want you to write down the thing in your life right now that is preventing you from reaching your full potential. You could write down a fear, a worry, a hope, a dream, or a secret."

Mr. Schu failed to notice that half the group flinched at the mention of the word "secret."

Kurt gave voice to what the whole class was thinking. "No offense, but I don't feel comfortable doing that." He pointed to the intercom and gestured around the room. "Big brother is always watching, and I don't want anyone knowing my business."

"Everyone in this school already knows you're gay Kurt," Finn said.

"I could have other business," Kurt mumbled.

"Hold on," Mr. Schu intervened. "You don't have to sign your names; your responses will be anonymous. I just want you to have a chance to identify and then try to move past some obstacle in your life."

"What are we going to do with the pieces of paper when we're done?" Santana wondered.

"I'm glad you asked." Mr. Schu walked to the door and retrieved the metal trashcan. "Once you write down your answers, I will put them all in this trashcan and we will light them on fire. That will symbolize your letting go of whatever it is that may be holding you back."

Puck raised his hand. "Uh, I know firsthand, that the administration doesn't allow us to start fires on school grounds. I thought it was just frowned upon if you did, but apparently it's really illegal. They could sic the po-po on you."

"Good point Puck. However, this room has a fire extinguisher. And, we will open the windows. Plus, I know that the school's fire alarms are currently disabled due to budget cuts. Anyways, let's get started."

The glee club members groaned in displeasure.

"I thought you guys wanted to win Regionals. I guess I was wrong. I might as well call the coach of _Vocal Adrenaline_ and offer my congratulations now."

Rachel tried to smooth things over. "If we have to write on these papers, then so do you. You're a big part of our team, and you said that we all need to work together."

"Fair enough." Mr. Schu grabbed an extra slip of paper and began to scribble.

Reluctantly, the glee members picked up their pens and began to write.

Puck didn't know what the hell he wanted to put.

He thought about putting down his favorite dirty limerick, playing tic-tac-toe, or practicing his signature.

When everyone else was finishing up, Puck quickly wrote down the first words that popped into his head. After reading back the words, he was surprised that he had written them and even more surprised that he actually meant them. He wondered what Rachel would think if she read them too.

Mr. Schu passed the hat around, and collected the papers. He grabbed the hat back, and reached for the pack of matches that was sitting atop the piano.

"Who's ready to light these suckers?" Mr. Schu shouted trying to excite the group as he positioned the hat over the trashcan, getting ready to dump the papers out.

Puck tried to meet Rachel's eyes, but she refused to turn her head in his direction. Puck wasn't paying attention to the front of the room, until he heard a voice from the hallway.

"William, I can't believe you are actually trying to torch a place of learning. That's a violation of any number of things: school rules, state laws, and the moral code given to us by the big gal up there," Sue Sylvester said pointing skyward.

She entered the room. "Not that I haven't thought of setting this place ablaze myself a time a two. But I certainly wouldn't do it during the middle of the day, and with so many witnesses." Sue looked around the room with an accusatory stare. "Not that I couldn't dispose of them," she murmured, "but it could get messy; and I hate messy. Damn kids and their copious amounts of body fluids."

"What do you want Sue?" Mr. Schu pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. He could feel a headache coming on.

"Principal Figgins requests your presence in his office."

"Again? What is it this time?"

"Apparently, he's having trouble putting together a 3-D puzzle. Someone on the staff may have mentioned that a certain man-child with poodle hair might be good at playing with toys. Anyways, he wants you there right away."

Sue glanced at the floor and noticed the clubs' trophy.

"Hey gang, congrats on the win. I heard you danced and sang your pathetic little hearts out. Way to beat out a bunch of delinquents and the physically handicapped; it's like you almost defeated one whole opponent. Your trophy is almost as big as the one I won in the third grade spelling bee. I spent every night for one year reading the dictionary alphabetically. It was fun times when I finally reached the _Q's._ Go ahead; ask me to spell a word, any word."

Mr. Schuester manipulated his hands in a certain way behind Sue's back and made the kids smirk.

"That is not a word William; that is a gesture, an inappropriate gesture…that hair gel must be seeping into your brain if you don't know the difference. Hope it doesn't cause too much permanent damage."

Sue turned to face him, "I'm going to be M-A-G-N-A-N-I-M-O-U-S, and let that slide." Sue slowly emphasized each letter of the word as she spelled it.

"I'm going to call Figgins and let him know this is a bad time," Mr. Schu said walking over to the black phone on the wall that could be used to call the office.

"Don't touch that dial. If you don't go right now, I can guarantee that you won't get paid next week," Sue warned.

"You can't do that," he responded.

Sue shrugged. "I have friends in high places, William. It would be a shame if someone in the office accidentally misplaced your check for a time. Look on the bright side, the less money you have in your bank account means the less money you will have to pay your soon-to-be ex-wife in the divorce settlement."

Mr. Schu's face curled into a snarl.

"Too soon?" Sue asked innocently.

Mr. Schu slammed the hat down. "I will be back in less than ten minutes," he said addressing the class.

"Watch yourself," he said pointing to Sue as he headed out the door.

"I always do," Sue called back, "The mirror worships me."

After listening to Mr. Schu's footsteps fade down the hallway, Sue immediately took notice of the hat.

"What do we have here? An unfortunate choice of headwear filled with tiny scraps of paper?"

Since no one else jumped in, Santana quickly offered an explanation for the exercise.

"That man watches entirely too much Oprah," Sue commented.

"Should we open up Pandora's Box and see what secrets are revealed?" Sue said reaching into the hat.

"Excuse me, Ms. Sylvester," Quinn spoke up, "But we were told that our responses would remain anonymous."

"How Q-U-I-X-O-T-I-C of you Q," Sue chuckled. "Nothing stays hidden in high school. I can just imagine what your hormone-addled brains wrote down."

Sue mimicked an empty-headed girl with a high voice, "The doctor says the itch will go away in a week."

Sue then imitated a baritone, "I drank so much that I puked on myself and then passed out. It was awesome."

Puck had to admit that he was curious about what everyone else had written. He was glad that his piece of paper was tucked away safely in his pocket because there was no way in hell that he would have ever put it in that damn hat.

"I don't think it's a good idea either…" Rachel started to say when Sue grabbed a paper and began to read aloud and drown her out.

"_I wish I had a boyfriend,"_ Sue said.

Puck looked around the room to gauge people's reactions, and he saw Kurt's face turn beet red.

Rachel saw the same thing Puck had and said to the entire group, "I think that's a sweet notion."

"Boring," Sue muttered, "Unless it's Mr. Schu's." She threw the paper into the trash can.

She took another slip.

"_I wish I had a boyfriend…"_ she read.

This time Mercedes looked to be the guilty party.

"Pathetic," Sue added.

Once again, she reached into the hat.

"_Cashmere, mascara, hairspray_…what the heck is this?"

Brittany slowly raised her hand. "That's my wish-list for Christmas. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to write. When Mr. Schu talks for a long time, sometimes I forget to listen."

"Understandable," Sue nodded, "But I don't think you got the memo…" she cupped her hands around her mouth and said loudly, "Santa's not real! If a fat, jolly man came down my chimney and tried to give me presents, I wouldn't call him a beloved children's character, I would call him a pedophile."

"Scrooge," Brittany accused.

"Well, if having a wreath made of boiled bones outside my door makes me a Scrooge, then I say Bah-Humbug."

This exercise was not nearly as much fun as Sue thought. Trying to expedite the process, she began reading the scraps of paper in rapid succession.

"_I like being Head Bitch in Charge and no one better stand in my way._" (Santana)

"_I feel like I never have anything to say." _(Shaft and Other Asian)

"_My team has the stuff to go all the way, and I hope I can take them there." _(Mr. Schu)

"_I don't really stutter."_ (Tina)

"_Sometimes I can still walk in my dreams."_ (Artie)

"_I'm tired of feeling like a failure. I want things to go back to the way they were."_ (Finn)

There were only two papers left. After making some quick judgments, Puck guessed that Rachel and Quinn's responses were the ones that were left. These were the two that he was most interested in.

Sue took a deep breath before reading the next one. It said:

"_I know I shouldn't care, but I want people to like me." _

That had to be Rachel's. Puck knew that she talked a big game, but when it came right down to it, Rachel often felt like she wasn't completely part of the group. He certainly hadn't helped to make her feel included; instead he had begged her to keep his secret at the expense of their…whatever the hell it was that they had.

"Boo hoo," Sue pretend sobbed. "No one understands me, I don't feel loved. I don't have any friends. These complaints are pathetic. Try having your mother ration out hugs—two per year, and one on Groundhog's day if that stupid little creature didn't see his shadow—during your childhood. Now that's rough."

Scraping the bottom of the hat, Sue pulled out the final paper.

"Finally, here's an interesting one."

Sue paused for dramatic emphasis.

"_Puck is the father of my baby." _

All the eyes in the room darted over to Quinn, who was sitting surprisingly still, almost as if she was finally resigned to her fate.

Sue was the first to break the uncomfortable silence, "That's quite a Q-U-A-N-D-A-R-Y you've got there Q."

Brittany scratched her head and looked confused, spelling was hard.

No longer taking any perverse pleasure out of the situation, Sue swallowed; almost as if to get the bitter taste that those words had left out of her mouth.

"Maybe your Eunuch of a teacher was right for once. Let's light these on fire. Any one have an accelerant?"

Puck pulled out a small silver flask and handed it to Sue. He wanted those papers burned more than anyone, plus if the flames got out of hand, that might provide a nice diversion.

Sue sniffed the flask and her nose wrinkled. "Whoa, it smells like you're drinking gasoline; that will get the job done."

Sue poured the contents into the trash can, threw the flask over her shoulder, lit a match, and dropped it in.

The flames flared up quickly, but thankfully remained within the confines of the trash can.

Puck thought Sue looked devilish standing in front of the blaze. She reached her hands out to warm them and said, "Look, what I have created."

Noting that Finn looked about ready to explode (but was scared enough of her not to say anything yet), Sue decided to leave.

"It's been real," she said as she walked towards the door. "I'm sure one of you ignoramuses can figure out how to douse the flames. If not, and one of you manages to survive, then I was never here."

Sue exited, and the kids were left to stare at the flames that were still going strong.

Finn started to get out his chair to confront Puck when Rachel tried to diffuse the situation the best way she knew how.

"Stop!" she shouted. "That paper wasn't Quinn's, it was mine."

What the hell is she doing? Puck wondered.

Rachel grabbed her stomach and insisted, "I am having Puck's child."

Everyone's jaw dropped, included Quinn's.

Puck kept his eyes on the flames, and thought that the choir room had now officially become hell.


	17. Chapter 17

As Puck watched the flames in the trash can start to burn out, he vowed that from now on he would do a better job of cleaning out his ears. Typically, he avoided using those little white-tipped things that were shaped like the sticks they fought with on _American Gladiators_ because 1). They freaked him out and 2). Jamming something into your ear just did not feel natural (what if you poked your brain or something).

But, Puck would pick up a dozen packs of Q-tips after school if it meant that he could properly hear things.

Puck convinced himself that he must have a ton of wax in his ears because there was no way in hell that he had just heard Rachel Berry claim that she was pregnant with his kid.

No freakin' way.

They hadn't had sex.

Of that, Puck was sure.

Unless Rachel had slipped him a Ruffie somewhere along the way, Puck was confident that he would remember if they had slept together. Other girls he might forget, but not Rachel.

Therefore, Puck concluded, Rachel was up to something.

Puck's thoughts raced wildly. Rachel could be sick, he briefly pondered. She could have a huge tumor that was slowly eating away at her brain and forcing her to say things she didn't mean.

He wasn't that lucky.

She could be sleepwalking with her eyes open. Puck's mom told him that he had once gotten up in the middle of the night, unlocked the front door, and curled up on the lawn all while sleepwalking. So that was a possibility.

Not really.

Or, Puck dared to hope, Rachel might actually be sticking up for him; protecting the secret because she had genuine feelings for him and she valued their friendship.

Puck wanted it to be that one.

Puck's positive feelings immediately sank when he toyed with the idea that Rachel might actually be pregnant—only not with his kid.

That possibility, Puck had to admit, would be the biggest cosmic joke ever; especially if Rachel had fooled around with Finn behind his back. He could raise Finn's kid, like Finn wanted to raise his. They could be "uncles" to each other's children. Wouldn't that be swell.

Puck had to slow down, he was getting way ahead of himself. For one, Puck knew that Rachel would never be with Finn when he was in a committed relationship with Quinn. Plus, Puck had come to learn, Rachel could take care of herself in pretty much every situation.

Puck was back to square one. Maybe he was the one who was asleep. He had taken more than his fair share of naps in school. Testing his theory, Puck pinched the inside of his left arm.

_Owwwwwww!_

Okay, he had to be awake because pain was now racing down his forearm.

Puck thought about the ear wax thing again. He shook his head to the side to try and dislodge some.

But, Puck reasoned, even if his hearing was impaired not all of his senses could be failing at once.

At this very moment, Puck could see Rachel standing in front of her chair still holding her stomach. He could taste in the back of his throat a bit of the liquid that he had sipped from his silver flask before class, and he could smell the stale sweat and smokiness prevalent in the choir room.

This was actually happening.

As if to confirm his conclusion, Rachel repeated what she had said earlier, "That paper is mine. I am having Puck's baby."

"For reals?" Mercedes asked.

Rachel gulped but nodded her head affirmatively.

_HAHAHAHAHAHA_

Mercedes started to crack up.

"What's so funny?" Brittany wanted to know.

Mercedes got a control of her laughter, and wiped some moisture from her eyes. "Glee club is supposed to be for nerds lacking social skills, but we got two pregnant chicks up in here. Guess you two had no trouble being social…real social. That's funny."

"Funny how?" Rachel wanted to know.

Mercedes nodded to Quinn, "I'm sorry, but you're super religious and," she pointed to Rachel, "you can barely even dress yourself. Yet, you're both going to be responsible for another persons' life. Oh Lord Jesus, give us strength." She raised her hand to the heavens for a moment in conjunction with her plea.

"I think it's a little bit funny that Rachel found a man at all…unless it was especially dark that night" Artie spoke up. "No offense Rachel," he said scathingly.

"Some taken," she said being honest. "Why are you being kind of mean to me?"

"Because," Artie said, "Last week you told me it might be beneficial to decorate the spokes on my wheelchair."

"I thought it might add some pizzazz to our routines," Rachel tried to explain her intention. "I thought it might help our group standout more."

"Right. You said the words 'Standout' to me."

Rachel didn't get it. "What's wrong with wanting to do something to make ourselves more noticeable to the judges?"

Artie used his fist to lightly knock on his useless legs and then gesture to his chair. "I think being stuck in a twisted hunk of metal is noticeable enough without adding ribbons or bows to the mix."

Rachel was stunned.

Artie continued, "So, if your baby's ugly are you gonna try and hide some of its flaws by sticking a large bow on it? Or, are you gonna smile and say that the kid just needs to grow into its' face?"

Rachel could see how hurt Artie was about her prior comment regarding is chair. "I'm sorry Artie. I don't know what I was thinking," she apologized sincerely.

Artie was quick to forgive. "It's okay. I know you gonna make a good mama." He pointed at her, "Just in case, I got Child Protective Services on speed dial though."

Having listened to that exchange, Puck wanted to jump up and say that there was no way in hell any kid of his (pretend or not) could be ugly.

Puck was more than willing to rip off his shirt and prove that he had won the gold medal when it came to swimming in the gene pool. However, this impulse to remove his clothing left him a little worried that he might pass down a flashing gene to his daughter or something. The last thing he wanted was to see his baby grow up and be in one of those _Girls Gone Wild_ videos.

Remaining seated (and fully clothed), Puck couldn't help but notice that Rachel was happy to have squared things away with Artie. Puck continued to watch as Rachel listened to more comments from their group mates.

Kurt looked Rachel up and down. "I knew it. You have been looking puffy lately. A little cold cream around the eyes will go a long way towards minimizing those bags. Cocoa butter will also help maintain the integrity of the rest of your body's skin as you expand with your little bundle of joy."

Rachel tried to ignore that last part. The only cocoa she wanted to think about was the kind that came in packets with tiny marshmallows. Rachel gently prodded the area around her eyes with one hand. She had stayed up late last night doing homework, but she hadn't thought the bags were all that noticeable. This was getting out of hand. Her self-esteem was taking a nosedive.

Puck didn't know what to make of what was happening. Quinn remained seated in her chair staring blankly, while Finn shifted in his looking unconvinced.

"Do you know what you're having?" Tina kept the conversation going.

"She already said she's having a baby….**duh**," Brittany said as she flipped her blonde ponytail over her shoulder.

Rachel nibbled her bottom lip. "Um…er…it's going to be a surprise."

You can say that again, Puck thought.

"When are you due?" Tina added.

"Later," Rachel mumbled.

"I call dibs on planning the baby shower," Kurt called out. He glanced over at Puck, "I know you probably like things done in a heteronormative way, but I'm hoping we can come to some sort of agreement."

"You can plan the shower." Rachel jumped in.

Kurt clasped his hands together, "Superb. We can use green as a theme color; green is gender neutral. And we can use sequins or rhinestones to liven things up. I can bring my Bedazzler over to your house any time you want."

Puck was in a state of disbelief that people were eating up the story, when he heard a lone voice of dissension in the crowd.

"I don't buy it." Santana said from the back row. "There is no way that Rachel is pregnant."

At this suggestion, Finns' eyes seemed to light up with intelligence (a rare occurrence for him).

"It is a little _convenient,_" Finn said. "That you and Quinn _happen_ to be pregnant at the same time."

Rachel giggled in an attempt to cover her nerves. "Happy coincidence," she offered by way of explanation.

For now, Puck was just watching the events unfold, but he was prepared to jump in if necessary. He couldn't let Rachel cover for him like this, could he?

Rachel faced Santana. "Why don't you believe me when I say I'm pregnant?"

Santana sported a look of disgust on her face. "For one thing," she sneered, "You're not Puck's usual type. I never bought your so-called relationship in the first place. Even disregarding that fact, I've slept with Puck and I know that he is super careful. Always."

Puck hung his head because both he and Quinn knew how false that last statement was.

Santana stood up. "I think you like Puck and wish he liked you back. When you heard the sentence that Quinn had stupidly written down, you realized that this was your chance to make him indebted to you."

Whoa, Puck decided that he was definitely going to lose Santana's number from his phone.

Santana raised her voice, "Any idiot can just stand up and say, 'I am having Puck's baby.'"

To illustrate her point, Santana rose from her chair, pointed to her stomach, and said in a monotone voice, "Rachel's not having Puck's baby, **I** am."

"This reminds me of _Spartacus,_" Brittany observed.

"I love that movie," Tina chimed in.

Artie raised his eyebrows.

"What?" Tina asked innocently.

"I didn't know you liked those kinds of movies. That's hot," Artie remarked.

Tina smiled widely. As if to play along, she jumped up, and in a deep tone stated, "No, **I** am having Puck's baby."

Not wanting to be left out, Brittany got out of her seat and shouted, "Me too!"

"Close enough," Tina reassured her.

Brittany looked at Mercedes, wanting her to play along, but Mercedes said, "Oh hell no, y'all are weird."

Getting swept up in the emotion, Kurt jumped in, "No, it is **I** that is having Puck's baby."

All eyes in the room immediately turned to stare at Kurt.

"What?" he said feeling a little self-conscious, "Modern science is doing amazing things these days. Did no one else see the story about the pregnant man in the news?"

"That dude was actually a dudette though," Artie corrected.

Mike and Matt got up in solidarity with Kurt and grinned at Puck. They were enjoying his discomfort.

"Thanks boys," Kurt said appreciatively.

Looking around the room, Puck decided that this situation definitely topped the list of his worst nightmares.

Machete wielding clowns, he could deal with.

He could not, however, wrap his head around half of the glee club (including some guys) standing up and claiming to be having his kids—even if it was in jest. Puck was seriously considering going to the guidance counselor's office and begging to be committed. He could use a quiet vacation right about now.

Unimpressed by the display from his classmates, Finn spoke up, "This is crap. Having a kid is nothing to joke about. You guys have no idea how much pressure and responsibility it is. My stomach is in knots every damn minute of every damn day. I worry about money, and schoolwork, and glee, and having friends, and doing chores, and sports, and thinking about the future."

Finn turned to face Rachel. In a disgusted tone he said, "I can't believe you threw away your life on some guy that can't possibly have genuine feelings for you."

Rachel opened her mouth in order to defend herself, but Puck had heard enough.

It was time to step in.

"How do you know what I feel for Rachel?" Puck sneered. "It's not like we stay up at night talking on the phone and divulging our innermost secrets."

Finn got defensive. "You're not that hard to figure out. You like Rachel because of the way she looks. You could give a damn about her as a person."

Puck felt anger brimming inside him.

Instead of using his fists (like he wanted to do), Puck settled on a different tactic.

"You and I have been friends for awhile right?" Puck asked.

Finn shrugged, "So?"

"So, if you know me like you say you do, then you could probably answer some simple questions about me, right?"

Another shrug.

"What's my favorite color?" Puck started off.

Finn ventured a guess. "Blue?"

"No, red."

"Let's try another one. What's my favorite TV channel?"

Finn didn't know so he joked, "Skinemax."

"No, I like the History Channel. Don't tell anyone, but I actually enjoy learning about the past."

"Come on man, this is stupid…" Finn started to say, but Puck kept going like he hadn't heard.

"Why did I start playing the guitar?" Puck's voice got a little louder. "You've known me for years, so this should be an easy one."

Finn though for a moment before saying in a quiet voice, "I don't know."

"Take a guess," Puck insisted.

Finn had never seen Puck act this cold before, it was very disconcerting.

"Guess," Puck repeated.

"Fine." Finn rubbed his eyes with his hands. "You started to play the guitar because you wanted to look cool and pick up chicks."

Puck gave out a quick laugh that was clearly faked, "Not even close man, not even close."

Rachel locked eyes with Puck. Without a sound, she asked him to answer his own question. Puck wasn't sure why, but he wanted Rachel (especially Rachel) to hear his answer.

While keeping his eyes on hers, Puck said, "My dad left us when I was a little kid. At first, I thought he had just gone away on a short business trip or a temporary vacation. I think my mom tried to explain the reality of the situation, but I was either too young to understand or I just didn't want to hear it. Every day, for weeks, I would try and stay up all night to wait for him to come back. I didn't watch TV or read; I just sat on the couch and stared at the door until I either passed out from exhaustion or I got up because it was time for breakfast."

Puck stopped to get some air; he wasn't used to talking so much. Rachel gave him a small smile of encouragement.

"My mom did everything she could to get me to go to sleep, but I wouldn't budge. I wanted my dad to know that I hadn't forgotten about him. I wanted my face to be the first thing he saw as soon as he walked in the door. Eventually, my mom brought down a used guitar from the attic and told me that I should be doing something constructive with my time. She said that the guitar was my dad's, and whenever I wanted to feel closer to him, I should play some songs."

He continued, "So, I practiced. I scraped my fingers raw running through the chords over and over again. I drove my little sister crazy when I started to learn rock songs, but I wanted to be ready in case my dad ever walked through that door. I thought that if I got good enough, somehow, my dad would know and come back because he was proud of me."

Puck straightened up, "Suffice it to say, my dad never came back. But, at least I learned how to play a kickass instrument. Personally, I think it was a good trade-off," Puck finished bitterly.

Puck blinked and looked away. Rachel turned her own head and gently wiped away a tear that was pooling at her lash-line and threatening to spill onto her cheek.

Finn felt a bit ashamed that he knew so little about his supposed friend. But, when he spotted how moved Rachel was by the story, he immediately felt his jealously flare back into full force.

"I'm sorry man, I know what that feels like. But, I don't get how this little exercise proves that you are actually capable of being there for Rachel."

Puck had practically just bared his soul, and yet Finn still didn't get it. He was being a total d-bag, and Puck was sick of it. Puck's voice gained intensity as he gave his response.

"This _proves_ that you don't really know anything about me. This _proves_ that you care little about our friendship. This _proves_ that you think you're better than me. And, it _proves_ that you're **jealous** and **scared shitless** because you're afraid that Rachel just might **like me back**!"

"You can't possibly** love** her the way that I do!" Finn screamed.

Whoa.

Puck was taken aback. Who said anything about love?

There was no way Finn could love Rachel.

But, Puck worried, if Finn did love her, did any one else stand a chance?

*********

The acoustics in the room allowed for Finn's declaration to bounce off the walls and deeply resonate within the group.

All the people that had been standing in the room quietly dove for their chairs. They wanted to be out of the line of fire for whatever was to come next.

Surprising the group, it was not Puck or Finn or even Rachel who spoke up next.

It was Quinn.

Quinn stood up slowly.

In a calm voice she said. "I'm done. I am so done."

Quinn nodded towards Finn. "You want Rachel, you can have her. It's over between us."

Finn didn't know what to say. He knew a hundred apologies wouldn't even begin to make up for the damage he had just inflicted.

Finn realized that he had to try something. He and Quinn had a bond; they were connected by that baby…

"Q-Quinn," Finn sputtered, "I am so sor…"

"Save it," Quinn held up her hand. "You can't fix this."

Quinn's stare was too icy to look at. "I feel sorry for you. You are the most oblivious person I've ever met. I'm so sorry that the existence of my child has interfered with your carefree life of playing video games. You must be so relieved that now you can go back to being the lovable blockhead who has no idea that the girl he supposedly loves is a liar and that his best friend is a cheater and a snake."

Finn glanced over at Rachel. "What are you talking about?"

Quinn's comments were sharp and quick; cutting her intended targets with the precision of a surgeons' scalpel.

"I cheated on you. Rachel's not pregnant with Puck's baby, I am. That paper was mine."

Finn looked like he had been punched in the gut. His jaw dropped open in shock.

"Why?" Finn managed to get out.

Quinn's face remained passive. "I cheated on you because I felt like it. I lied because I knew I could get away with it. You were stupid enough to believe the hot tub story, so I let you."

Having observed Rachel's avoidance of Puck at the beginning of practice, Quinn guessed that Rachel had already known about the baby's paternity. Quinn decided to dig the knife a little deeper into Finn because she had nothing else to lose.

"I know that you probably hate me right now, and that's fine. I also realize that you are probably going to use that hatred to justify the fact that you have been emotionally cheating on me with Rachel for months. I'm going to warn you not to make the pedestal you put under Rachel too high because she might hurt herself when she falls off."

"Rachel's not the one who cheated on me," Finn spat.

"No," Quinn agreed.

She was going to savor each and every one of the next words she uttered.

"Rachel didn't cheat on you. But, she did lie."

Rachel's face immediately took on a guilty look, and Quinn knew that she had guessed right.

"Rachel figured out that Puck is the father of my baby. Instead of telling you, she decided to keep that tiny piece of information to herself. Maybe she does have feelings for Puck after-all," Quinn finished.

Now it was Rachel's turn to try and explain.

"Finn…I wanted to tell you…" Rachel began.

Finn shook his head; he didn't want to hear it.

Quinn thought making Rachel look bad would make her feel better—it didn't.

Quinn felt worse.

She looked around and saw Puck scowling, Finn on the verge of tears, and Rachel looked hurt as well.

Quinn didn't want to be there anymore.

With as much dignity as she could muster, Quinn grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She ran the last few steps because she was damned if she was going to let anyone see her cry.

*********

Puck watched Quinn run out of the room. He knew that she talked a big game, but he recognized that on the inside she must be feeling crushed. He was feeling pretty crushed himself.

Puck knew that he had been a lousy friend to Finn, but he wanted to do his best to make things right.

Puck faced Finn and said, "Okay. You can punch me in the face if you want, just try not to break any bones."

Puck hoped he aimed high on the face.

Puck reasoned that having a couple of black eyes would be okay because they would only add to his badassness quotient (which was already pretty high).

Finn walked close, and Puck tried not to grimace.

Puck squeezed his eyes shut and waited for an impact that never came.

Puck opened his eyes back up, "What are you waiting for? Punch me in the head like a man."

Finn had a maniacal glint in his eye. "I am not going to hit you. You're not worth it. Hitting you would imply that I actually care about you as a person or a friend. But, I don't. You're now nothing to me. In fact, I hope I never see your face again."

Ouch.

Puck thought that a punch might hurt less than that scathing rebuke.

Finn turned around, gathered his belongings, and stalked toward the door. On his way out, he paused next to Rachel.

Rachel knew better than to say anything that might further upset him.

Judging from the look in his eyes, Rachel could see that Quinn's words had already tarnished her in Finn's mind.

"I don't know what you see in Puck," Finn whispered, "But if you continue to hang out with him, then you get what you deserve."

Finn left, and Rachel stood speechless.

Puck closely observed Rachel's body language. He could see her weight shifting towards the door. Puck didn't know if she wanted to leave and go comfort Quinn or Finn.

Puck was unsure of what to do himself.

The right thing to do would be to go after Quinn. She was the mother of his child. But, she hated his guts right now. And he didn't want to make things worse.

The easy thing to do would be to stay here with Rachel. Puck liked being with her. She had a brightness and light to her that made everything seem better.

Puck alternated between the choices in his head.

Easy thing.

Right thing.

Easy.

Right.

Eventually, Rachel chose for him.

Leave it to Rachel to always do the right thing, Puck thought.

She gave him a sad smile and left the room.

Puck was now free to go after Quinn. Even if she didn't want to admit it, Quinn probably needed him. This time, Puck was willing to be there for her.

Puck stood unmoving in the choir room, giving Rachel a bit of a head start.

While he was standing, he saw the door begin to swing open.

For a moment, Puck hoped that it was Rachel coming back.

Instead, a curly mop of hair peaked through.

It was Mr. Schuester.

He walked in and stood in the center of the room.

"Hey guys, sorry that took so long."

Mr. Schu surveyed the empty chairs and the trash can with faintly glowing embers.

"What'd I miss?" he asked earnestly.

A lot. A whole hell of a freakin' lot, Puck thought as he walked out with no explanation.


	18. Chapter 18

*****This chapter is about Rachel/Finn. Puck will return in the next chapter. I will try to update as soon as possible*****

Rachel crept slowly into the locker room and watched as Finn angrily stuffed some of his clothes and other personal belongings into a gym bag. With the force he was using to put the stuff in, Rachel almost expected the bag to be ripped in two by the time he was finished.

She stood awkwardly waiting for Finn to notice her.

When he didn't, Rachel cleared her throat softly.

No response.

She cleared her throat even louder.

Still no response.

Rachel began faking a coughing fit as a way to announce her presence.

When Finn refused to turn around, Rachel knew he was just ignoring her. She decided to take a more direct approach and said sharply, "Finn!"

Finn didn't turn around, but he began to speak. "Rachel, when did you get here? I'm surprised you don't have pretend birthing classes to go to with your fake boyfriend."

Rachel's face fell. This was going to be harder than she had thought.

Finn grabbed a sweat towel and shoved it in the bag while saying, "You should have stayed behind in glee club. With me out of the room, it would have been the perfect time for everyone to talk about ways to screw me over. Or, maybe you don't need me out of the room, since you think I'm too stupid to notice when I'm being lied to."

Rachel had no excuses to offer, none that sounded convincing to her ears anyway. She decided to ease her way into the conversation and see if she could get Finn to cool off a bit.

Rachel sat on one of the benches in the middle of the room.

"Why are you cleaning out your locker?" she asked.

"The season's over." Finn mumbled.

While staring at Finn's back, Rachel barely heard him add in a whisper, "A lot of things are over."

"Are you gonna miss it? Football, I mean."

"Not really. We didn't win too many games."

"Maybe you should have kept Kurt on the team," Rachel said.

Finn almost smiled at the memory of the football players dancing to Beyonce on the field before he stopped himself. He finished cleaning out the locker, wiping down the shelf to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, before slamming the door closed. He sat on the bench a few feet away from Rachel, pretending to arrange the items in his bag into some sort of order.

Rachel sat in silence for a few moments trying to gather her thoughts. She didn't want to say anything that would hurt Finn more than he had already been hurt.

Staring at her shoes, Rachel said, "I'm sorry Finn, I should have told you the truth about Quinn's baby as soon as I found out."

Finn kept his eyes focused on the dark red spot on the wall where one of the players had smacked his head during a particularly lively pre-game pep-talk. That guy had needed eighteen stitches, and they had still lost the game by three touchdowns.

If Finn squinted, the dark spot kind of looked like a bird.

Maybe even a crow.

Finn was stalling. He couldn't look at Rachel, not yet.

"Why didn't you tell me?' he wanted to know at last.

"I wanted to." Rachel piped up immediately, "I even came over to your house the same day that Puck told me."

Finn thought back to that night and remembered that Rachel's behavior had been slightly odd, even for her.

"Is that why you kept mentioning biology class and junk?"

"Yes. I was trying to get you to see that Quinn's version of the conception was highly unlikely. I don't even take Biology."

Finn kept looking at the spot-shaped-like-a-bird, but he moved a few inches closer to Rachel on the bench.

"I thought that was kinda weird. I mean, we're in the same science class. You even sit right in front of me. I just figured you came to my house because you were lonely and wanted to hang out."

Rachel shrugged, "I was hoping that with a little push you could guess that Quinn was lying. But, then I realized that you trusted her too much to ever think that she could be so underhanded."

In regards to Quinn's little story, Finn felt like such a moron. He should have done a little more investigating; hell he could have read one of his mom's gyno pamphlets (he had stumbled across one as a child, and had yet to fully recover) and gotten some information.

"I was all set to tell you when you mentioned that Quinn was staying at your house because her parents kicked her out. I was afraid that if I told, Quinn would have no place to go."

Finn knew how Rachel thought.

"Is that the only reason you kept quiet?" Finn queried.

"No. I knew that Sectionals was going up, and I didn't want the group to fracture before then. I wanted to give us a chance to win without any outside distractions."

"I guess that makes sense. I'm not saying it was right, but I understand why you did it. Rachel Berry's got career ambitions." The visceral anger in Finn's voice was all but gone. Now he and Rachel were just having a conversation.

Rachel half-smiled. "Did I mention how sorry I was?"

"Yeah, I think you got that covered."

"Good."

Finn moved a few inches closer.

"Did you actually think that I would kick Quinn out of my house if she had no where else to go?"

"I don't know. Quinn's problem is not really your problem."

"I hate what Quinn did, but I would have my mom make sure she was set up with some friends or back at home before I ever told her to leave."

"That's very sweet of you Finn."

Finn felt his cheeks flush a little. "Whatever," he mumbled.

"I hope that you will continue to be my friend," Rachel said quite seriously.

Finn finally dared to turn to look at Rachel, since now he was sitting only mere inches away.

"Rachel, I'm mad that you didn't tell me, but it wasn't your responsibility. Quinn should have told me, or Puck should have. They put you in an awkward situation."

Rachel wasn't ready to let herself be fully absolved yet. She had been keeping a secret of her own from Finn.

"Finn," she started hesitantly, "before you forgive me, there's something you should know."

Finn raised an eyebrow.

Rachel rushed to get the words out, "the reason I started dating Puck in the first place was to make you jealous enough to break up with Quinn. Puck said that he wanted to be with Quinn and now I feel stupid because I know now why he did it, he wanted to be closer to his child…anyways, I just wanted to apologize for that too because I shouldn't have been so manipulative, and I should have realized that a girl shouldn't resort to tricking a guy because that makes her no better than a cheap whore…" Rachel gulped in some air.

Finn hadn't gotten all of that, but he had gotten enough. He laughed to himself, when he heard Rachel refer to herself as a "whore." She was the least whorish girl he knew in high school.

Finn felt kind of silly but he said, "Rachel, you're not a whore."

"Thank you."

Finn thought about the fake-dating scenario, and felt his anger levels rise at another person.

"Puck's the whore. He's a backstabbing, lying, sneaky, bastard, manwhore. I can't believe I ever thought he was my friend."

Rachel wasn't used to hearing him talk that way, and she was a little put-off. But, she understood that Finn needed to vent his frustration instead of potentially taking it out on Puck's face. For some reason, Rachel really didn't want that to happen.

"I mean seriously, Puck could have any girl he wanted in this school, and he had to choose mine?"

Rachel rested her hand on Finn's arm.

"I should knock his lying teeth out!"

"But," Rachel said, "You won't do that because it wouldn't solve anything."

Finn settled down a bit. "Fine, I wouldn't do that."

Rachel bit her lip, not sure if she should say what she was about to say. "I don't know if this helps or hurts, but I spent a lot of time with Puck when we were pretending to date…"

Finn clenched his jaw.

"…And I think I know why he did what he did. Quinn told Puck to keep his mouth shut because she could make sure that he would never have anything to do with his kid. Puck thought that Quinn only felt that way because she was dating you. He thought that if you got jealous enough to break up with her, then Quinn might come around to the idea of Puck being the actual father. Since Puck's own father left, I think that he was afraid that history was going to repeat itself. Puck wants a shot at being a dad."

Finn moved his arm out from under Rachel's hand. "Are you saying that this is Quinn's fault? Are you saying that Puck played no part in seducing Quinn or convincing her to sleep with him? I bet Quinn just threw herself on Puck and said 'Take me now.' There was no way he could say no to that."

Rachel was getting a little sick of Finn's mocking tone. "Are you finished?" she asked, referring to his little tirade. "I'm not saying Puck is blameless. I am simply saying that it takes two. I just want you to keep that in mind."

Finn nodded slightly.

He tried to ignore Puck and Quinn for the moment, and focus on what Rachel had said earlier

"So…you decided to pretend to date whatshisface so that I might get jealous and break up with my girlfriend?"

Rachel turned beet red. She wasn't expecting the conversation to take this turn.

"I realize how stupid that sounds," Rachel confessed. "I wish I hadn't done it."

Finn threw his hands up in the air, "Well, it worked. I'm single."

Rachel laughed self-consciously. "This isn't exactly how I expected things to turn out."

"Me neither, but here we are."

"I don't know what's going to happen next," Rachel said.

"I do," Finn asserted. "You and I can continue to be friends. We will work our asses off and win Regionals, and we never have to speak to Puck or Quinn again."

"That sounds good," Rachel said referring to the first part, "but can you really expect to never speak to them again?"

"Once I make sure that Quinn has somewhere to live, my obligation to her is over. I can't see ever wanting to interact with her or Puck again. In a way, they betrayed us both. I'll play nice during glee club, but that's it."

Although she had been hurt by Puck's lie, Rachel didn't feel mortally betrayed. He was the one who had eventually told her the truth. Besides, Quinn had the biggest problem out of them all to deal with—a baby. She would need more help than anyone, and Rachel would provide assistance if she could. Plus, they were all in glee club; they would need to work together in order to be successful.

Rachel hoped that once Finn analyzed the situation, he would calm down.

"Aren't you the least bit relieved that you aren't going to be a teen dad?" Rachel asked trying to get Finn to see a brighter side to things.

Finn was silent for a moment. "A part of me is, I guess."

"You can quit your job if you want," Rachel said.

"It is kind of hard getting around in the wheelchair; I'm too tall and my legs kind of drag on the ground."

"You won't have to worry about changing diapers or midnight feedings. You can go back to staying up all night just playing video games."

"I have been neglecting my _Wii_ lately," Finn stated.

"People around school will stop calling you _The Impregnator_."

"Yeah I…wait…I didn't know people were calling me that."

Rachel coughed, "They're not…that must have been…someone else…"

Suddenly, Finn inched a little closer, "Plus, there's the fact that I'm single."

"There is that," Rachel agreed.

Finn grabbed Rachel's hands in his. He looked her straight in the eye, "I've liked you for awhile now Rachel."

Rachel gulped.

"I mean, you're not like other girls. You're smart and you're funny. You don't care what people think, and you go after what you want."

"That's not true, I do care what others think, and I'm neurotic, and I rub people the wrong way."

"Yeah, but you're a regular person. You're not stuck-up, shallow, or conceited. You don't walk around the halls with a stupid cheerleading uniform on pretending that you're better than anyone else. You don't lie, if you can help it."

Finn used one hand to gently brush the hair off the left side of Rachel's face.

"I can trust you," Finn whispered.

"In other words, I'm not Quinn." Rachel spoke the truth.

"I don't want to talk about her; I want to think about _us_."

Rachel didn't know what to do. "You think there's an 'us'?"

"There could be." Finn said.

With that, Finn leaned closer and kissed Rachel on the lips.

Rachel panicked.

Her mind was screaming: _Rebound! Rebound!_

But, she tried to keep her body relaxed.

This is what she had wanted for months.

She had wanted to be kissing Finn Hudson.

The kiss was nice.

It was soft.

It was sweet.

It was free of any major mash-ups of tongues or teeth.

It was…it was…boring.

She remembered back to that day in the hallway when she had kissed Puck when they first started "dating." Finn and Quinn had been coming, and she had wanted to make them jealous. She had kissed Puck wildly, and had even suggested he grab her in places she normally wouldn't let people. That kiss had been exciting, and nerve-wracking, and a little bit dangerous.

All the things that this kiss wasn't.

It wasn't just the exhilaration of potentially being caught that had made Puck's kiss good. Rachel remembered the kiss that Puck had given her when she had visited his house. Puck's sister Emily had insisted on it, but Rachel had gone home that night feeling giddy all the same.

Rachel let Finn kiss her for a few more seconds.

Maybe she wasn't trying hard enough.

That wasn't it.

Maybe Finn was trying too hard.

Rachel thought that perhaps Finn was forcing himself to believe that this what he wanted.

In a weird way, Rachel and Finn made sense. Being together would be simple. It would be easy.

Rachel didn't want easy. She craved a bit of drama. If she couldn't have that, then she would rather be alone.

Slowly, Rachel pulled away from Finn.

"I'm sorry Finn, I can't do this."

"Do I have bad breath or something?" Finn said covering his mouth.

"No, I don't mean physically. Mentally, I can't do this. You just broke up with Quinn, and you're hurt and confused. You want to be with somebody, anybody, but that person can't be me."

Finn backed up some. He scratched his head; he had thought this is what Rachel had wanted. "Are you sure?"

"This is what I want," she said with determination.

Rachel got off the bench and headed for the exit. Before she left, she turned around and said, "I'm here for you, if you need me. You can call me anytime, day or night."

"Thanks Rachel."

Finn watched as Rachel's back disappeared out the door. He stretched out so he was lying on the bench with his hands supporting his head.

Finn closed his eyes. Girls were so confusing. He thought about cutting them out of his life for awhile.

He could always take Kurt to the prom if the offer was still on the table.

Finn thought about matching cummerbunds and splitting the cost of a limo as he let his mind drift off to peculiar places.


	19. Chapter 19

It didn't take Puck long to figure out exactly where she would be.

Puck took pride in his vast knowledge of (what he liked to refer to as) the whinier sex.

Excluding a few rare examples, Puck often knew what chicks were thinking and why they were behaving in certain ways. He had studied hard. One might say that _Girls_ were his favorite subject in school.

Puck also gained wisdom from popular culture. He felt it was a good indicator of human behavior.

Whenever a chick in a movie or on TV made a big scene and ran out of a room, she would inevitably end up sobbing in her car.

Puck approached cautiously and saw that Quinn was in fact sitting in her car in the school parking lot using a tissue to mop the tears off of her face.

If Puck were a betting man, (he occasionally played the ponies) he would guess that she was also blasting the radio.

She was probably playing some crappy chick music, like a sad Celine Dion song (as if there were any other kind).

Taking a deep breath, Puck grabbed the handle of the door on the passenger side.

It was unlocked.

Puck opened the door and his ears were immediately assaulted.

_Every night in my dreams_

_I see you_

_I feel you_

_That is how I know you go on_

Damn.

A part of him was amused that he had guessed right, but he could have sworn he felt his eardrum cracking from the sheer suckiness.

Puck moved to turn the radio dial, but Quinn slapped his hand away.

"I can't listen to this," Puck said pathetically.

Quinn turned the dial to the right, increasing the volume even more.

"_You_ got in _my_ car jackass," Quinn said between sniffles, "Feel free to exit anytime."

"Come on Quinn, you and I both know that we have to talk."

Quinn blew her nose on the tissue. "I guess so," she stiffly admitted.

Puck leaned forward again. "Right, but I can't talk if my ears start to bleed."

"Now that would be a shame," Quinn said as she turned the volume up even higher.

_Near_

_Far_

_Wherever you are_

_You are safe in my heart and_

_My heart will go on and on_

Puck clasped his hands to the sides of his head in a futile attempt to block out the noise.

Forget waterboarding, this song was its own kind of unique torture.

Quinn was amused by his actions and relented slightly by lowering the volume.

Puck removed his hands. "Thank you."

Quinn bit her lip. "To be honest, I wasn't even paying attention to the music when I got in. I can change the station if you like."

Puck nodded.

Quinn pressed some of her pre-programmed buttons.

A _Backstreet Boys_ song came on.

Puck wished they had just stayed gone.

Strike One.

Quinn pressed another button.

Keith Urban.

Puck had to admit that the dude had good hair, but still no.

Strike Two.

Puck told Quinn to keep going.

She spun the dial.

A Taylor Swift song.

Oh hell no.

Big freakin' Strike Three.

Puck mimed stabbing himself in the heart to accurately convey his feelings about the "music."

"Fine," Quinn said, "You get one spin to pick something better. Whatever you land on is what we are listening to."

Puck blew on his hands like a player at a casino would blow on dice to make them lucky.

Rock Gods don't fail me now, Puck thought as he twirled the dial.

_You're herrrrrrrrre, _

_There's nothing I fearrrrrrrrrr_

_You are safe in my heart and_

_My heart will go on and on_

There is no God, Puck thought bitterly.

He was even on a different station then before.

Preferring silence to this travesty of a "song," Puck quickly switched the radio off.

He leaned back, and settled in his seat.

Now, they could talk.

All he needed to do was break the ice.

Puck turned to face Quinn; he stuck out his right hand, and said, "Hi, I'm not sure if you remember me or not, but I'm Puck. I'm the one who knocked you up."

Quinn couldn't help it, she smiled a tiny bit.

"You're an idiot," she said.

"Okay," he agreed. "I'm Puck, the father of your baby, and a complete and utter idiot."

"Ain't that the truth."

"And you are?" Puck continued with his fake introduction.

"I'm Quinn Fabray: a pregnant teen, an ex-cheerleader, and a proud member of glee club."

"Glee club? Sounds kind of lame if you ask me." Puck joked.

Quinn smacked Puck on the shoulder.

"Just kidding, just kidding," Puck promised. He grabbed Quinn's hand in his, and shook it. "It's nice to meet you."

"We'll see."

Puck noticed that Quinn had gotten most of her tears cleaned up. Except for her blotchy eyes, she seemed fine considering the circumstances.

"You okay?" Puck asked even though he already knew the answer.

"I'm just peachy," Quinn responded. "I loved telling our peers that I am a betraying tramp. I also loved the look on Finn's face when he found out the truth, that look of anguish. And, I loved making such a dramatic exit, you know, running out with my tail between my legs."

"It could be worse," Puck thought out loud.

"Really, how?" Quinn wanted to know.

"Well," Puck struggled, "You have a family…"

"That hates me."

Oops, Puck had forgotten about that.

Quinn continued, "I can't wait until my parents hear that Finn isn't the father, but a Jewish juvenile delinquent is."

"Hey," Puck protested, "Jesus was a Jew."

Quinn wasn't impressed with that logic, so Puck moved on, "You have friends…"

"Who hate me."

"You have extracurricular activities…"

"That I've been kicked out of."

"Well…you have me…"

If anything, Quinn looked even more depressed as he started to say that.

Puck decided to add, "And my friendship…if you want it."

Quinn said nothing.

Puck had to convince her that they could do this, that they would be okay.

"Look, I may not be Ivory League material, but I got ambition. I got heart, and I have a kickass CD collection. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that you and the kid are taken care of. I promise everything will work out."

Quinn gave off a short laugh.

Puck wasn't sure if she was making fun of his speech or if her hormones were making her act crazy. He wasn't sure which he would prefer at the moment.

"What's the deal?" Puck asked.

"You said Ivory League…"

Puck failed to see what was funny.

"So?"

"So…Ivory is a type of soap. You meant to say Ivy League."

"I was just…" Puck scrambled for an explanation, "proving my point. I'm not the brightest kid and I hate to clean. Case closed."

Puck wished he had a gavel that he could bang on the dashboard to emphasize his point. That would be so badass.

Note to self, Puck thought, buy a gavel.

Time to switch topics.

"As your _friend_, I want to help you. Do you need a place to stay?"

"No," Quinn said, "Brittany said I could stay with her. She said her family would welcome a normal problem like teen pregnancy into the house. Although, Brittany's a little sad that I told her she has to put her love of taxidermy on hold while I'm there."

"Errr…okay."

Never one to back-down from a challenge, Puck decided to go for the big question next.

"Have you decided what you want to do? You know, like _do_, after the baby's born."

Puck knew she was leaning towards adoption, but he hadn't spoken to her about it in a while. For all he knew, she may have changed her mind.

Quinn let out a big sigh. She squirmed in her seat a bit, but Puck waited patiently. He took a pee break before he came out, so he could totally wait all day if he had to.

The seconds ticked by, but finally Quinn spoke up.

"Adoption. I want to give the baby up for adoption."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't think any one can ever be completely sure, but I've made up my mind. I think this is the best decision for everyone."

"Do you think your choice would be different if Finn was actually the father?"

Puck wasn't sure why he wanted to know that, but he did.

Quinn looked away, "Maybe…"

Puck felt like he had been kicked in the gonads. Quinn really seemed to hate him.

"But probably not," Quinn continued. "At my age, I just don't feel ready to raise a child…with anyone. I don't think I can handle the responsibility, and I don't think I want to try."

Maybe Quinn did hate him, but it sounded like the person she was most mad at was herself.

Even if it hurt like a bitch, Puck was going to try and do this Quinn's way.

"I could still help you," Puck said.

"How?"

"We're both kind of hated right now. Finn doesn't want to see either of us, and Rachel basically told me to go screw myself. We're kind of short on friends. You're not gonna pop that kid out for another couple months, so you could probably use a friend."

Quinn looked thoughtful. "It wouldn't hurt to try, I guess."

Not the enthusiastic response Puck was looking for, but he would take it.

Puck's legs were starting to fall asleep, so he went to adjust his seat to move backwards. As he reached for the little lever, he realized that Quinn's storming out of the school reminded him of something. It reminded him of the time Quinn cornered him in that classroom…

Puck pulled the lever too far, and his seat went flying back.

Hello ceiling, Puck thought as he struggled to sit back up.

"What are you doing?" Quinn asked.

Puck managed to right himself before he pointed a finger at Quinn.

"You kissed me," he accused. "What the hell was that about?"

"Huh?" Quinn was confused.

"You kissed me, that day in the classroom. You pulled me in, then pounced on me, and then ran away. Why did you do that? I thought you didn't like me."

Quinn looked guilty.

"Well?" he prodded.

"Well…I was conducting an experiment."

Puck was annoyed, did he look like a frickin' lab rat?

"I guess I was giving you a test run, but then I chickened out."

Great, now Quinn was comparing him to a car. Did she run out because he didn't have that new car smell?

"You said you wanted Finn and you wanted me, so which is it?"

"I've always felt a certain…physical…attraction for you," Quinn's face turned red, "but I've also always had genuine feelings for Finn."

Puck needed a little help, "So what you're saying is?"

Quinn rushed to spit the words out, "What I'm saying is that I liked you enough to sleep with you, but I don't trust you, and I don't think we would ever work out as anything more than friends. When I saw that you were getting close with Rachel, I panicked. I got jealous and I wanted to make her feel insecure."

Things were beginning to get clearer.

"Is that why you told Finn at practice that Rachel had kept the secret from him? You were jealous?"

Quinn's voice got softer as she explained. "I wanted to hurt Finn like he had hurt me. Do you know how hard it was to stand by and see Rachel get the two guys that I wanted, the two guys that I cared about the most?"

Quinn sniffed back a few tears. She was done crying.

"Even when Finn was with me, I knew that he talked to Rachel behind my back. I knew that they were good friends, and it bugged me so much. And when you started dating Rachel, I really began to resent her because you stopped trying to call me. I know it's stupid, but I felt hurt."

Puck had been right. "So, you didn't want me…"

"But I didn't want Rachel to have you either," Quinn finished for him.

Although it hadn't turned out the way he thought it would, Puck's plan with Rachel had succeeded in making Quinn jealous.

Puck rubbed his mohawk, this conversation was giving him a headache.

"Quinn, if you had crooked your little finger at me, even once after we hooked up, I would have come running. Once I found out about what happened, I wanted to take care of you and the baby so badly."

Quinn acknowledged that Puck had used the past tense. His feelings had changed.

"Face it Puck, if I hadn't gotten pregnant, you would have moved on. Yeah, we had a good time that one night, but it would have ended there."

Puck had never really thought about it that way. He started to protest because he felt like it was the right thing to do, but Quinn held up a hand to stop him.

"If I weren't pregnant, would you still want to be with me after I've been such a bitch to you?"

Forget aspirin, Puck needed a drink (and he wasn't talking about getting a Yoohoo).

Quinn patted her expanding stomach. "Your feelings for me are wrapped up with this baby. I know that your father left you when you were little, and you don't want to be anything like him. Therefore, you had yourself convinced that we would make a good family, the three of us. But that's a fantasy, it's not real. A part of me wants to give it a shot anyway because I love this baby, but I realize now that I could never be with a guy who feels obligated to be with me. I should have never tricked Finn, and I should have never forced you to lie. If I hadn't done that, then maybe we could have spared some people a lot of hurt."

Puck had to give the girl credit; she had described the situation perfectly. The thing he was most afraid of in this world was becoming a deadbeat like his dad.

Puck didn't see how adoption was much better though, leaving was still leaving.

"I'm not sure I can do it," Puck confessed. "Just hand the kid over to some strangers and wave good-bye. That doesn't seem right to me."

Quinn grabbed onto his arm. "It won't be like that. The adoption agency has a strict screening process for prospective parents. We'll find a good couple to take care of her. Besides, there's such a thing as an open adoption. That means that you could get updates and pictures of your daughter as she grows up."

Puck liked the sound of that.

"Besides, we're not giving her up because we don't want _her_, we're giving her up because we want what's _best for her_. And that's not us, at least not right now."

Quinn searched for Puck's eyes. "You're gonna make a good dad one day. When you're ready."

Puck felt moisture well up in his eyes.

But, Puck reasoned, he wasn't crying. It was something else that was causing that inexplicable liquid to slide down his face. It was probably just sweat dripping down because the car was too hot. Or, he must have inadvertently poked himself in the eye while not paying attention. Or, he was just allergic to something. That must be it. Because there was no way that he was crying.

Noah Abraham Puckerman didn't cry.

Oh hell, who was he kidding, he was verklempt. He was crying like a sissy little girl who skinned her knee playing sissy little girl games.

But, if you asked him to admit that fact in a court of law, he would deny it (he really needed to get that gavel).

Puck squeezed Quinn's hand before letting go. He needed to leave this car before his castration was fully complete.

He looked to Quinn for confirmation that he could go, and she gestured toward the door.

"Don't make me throw you out of this car, I got places to be and a future to plan," Quinn teased.

"Yes mam," Puck tipped an imaginary cowboy hat, smiled, and got out of the car.

As he watched her drive away, Puck let the truth of Quinn's words sink into his brain.

She was right, maybe it was time to let go and move forward.

He would always love his kid, but somebody else would do a better job of taking care of her.

And as lame as it sounded, Puck hoped that he and Quinn would get to a place where they could completely trust each other. He wanted to be there for her in the coming months if she needed him.

Now that he had settled a few things with Quinn, there was something else that was weighing on Puck heavily.

Rachel Berry.

He had missed her these past few weeks.

Puck needed to see her, to talk to her, and beg her forgiveness if necessary.

It had been hard letting Rachel go after Finn, even though he knew it was probably for the best.

Puck tried not to imagine how Rachel's encounter with Finn had gone. Finn had probably been weepy (understandable considering the circumstances) and Rachel had probably wanted to comfort him with a hug where their bodies would inevitably be pressed close together, and with Rachel's skirt already so short…

Nope. Puck wasn't going to let his mind wander there. He would put his hands over his ears and hum the Battle Hymn of the Republic before he let that mental image completely form.

No matter what had happened in the past, Puck had to find Rachel and convince her that things weren't over between them.

He hoped with everything he had that it wasn't already too late.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Author's Note: I've decided to make this the last chapter. Thanks for all the comments and nice reviews. I can't wait until Glee returns in a few weeks. **

Puck walked down the halls of William McKinley high school, guitar in hand, dreading what he was about to do.

He was Noah freaking Puckerman.

A stud.

A God among the testosterone-challenged underclassmen.

He was a man who refused to follow the rules.

Instead, he liked to make up is own.

If someone asked him to jump, he would say "No thanks," and punch them in the face.

If a teacher asked him to write a report on Canada, he would reply "Why don't you write a report on why your life sucks so much that you decided to become a teacher, eh?"

Puck didn't take crap from anyone.

And yet…

And yet, Puck had gotten up that morning with the express intent to…well…to grovel.

He would beg.

He would plead.

He would get down on his hands and knees (get your minds out of the gutter) and pray if that's what it would take for Rachel to forgive him.

He _needed_ Rachel to forgive him.

Speaking of Rachel, Puck spotted her in the hallway, standing about thirty feet away. She was taking some star-encrusted notebooks out of her backpack and placing them in her locker.

As always, Rachel looked pretty hot.

Puck decided that half her hotness quotient was reliant on the fact that Rachel had no idea just how pretty she was.

Puck didn't even care that her orange argyle shirt and purple skirt were a bit clashy. Puck liked that Rachel had her own sense of style.

Taking a deep breath, Puck approached his target.

He felt his palms get sweaty and the grip on his guitar loosen.

This was the moment of truth.

Puck was ready to strum the strings and make his big declaration.

He was close now.

Puck opened his mouth to sing…

"I see you Noah Puckerman. I'm onto your games. You better not be planning a prank."

The words he was about to say got jammed in his throat as he watched Rachel whirl around. Puck thought he had prepared himself for any eventuality, but Rachel looked really angry.

"Cat got your tongue?" Rachel asked while moving closer to him.

Puck shook his head mutely. In his mind, he was silently screaming RETREAT!

She had some crazy eyes going on.

"Well I'm waiting," Rachel said expectantly.

Puck still hadn't regained his ability to speak.

"There aren't any cameras around, are there?" Rachel asked with the faintest hint of a smile, "Because you know I don't give free press or interviews."

That statement sparked a memory. Puck thought back and remembered how paranoid Rachel had been when he had first approached her to be his pretend girlfriend. Although only a few short months ago, it now felt like a lifetime.

Puck looked into Rachel's eyes, and realized that she had just been playing with him. She wasn't really mad.

Confident that she wasn't going to bite his head off, Puck leaned charmingly against the lockers.

"There aren't any cameras."

Rachel batted her eyelashes. "That's okay, I know why you're here."

Puck straightened up a bit, he was not that transparent. Was he?

"Oh really?" he asked.

"Yup," Rachel answered. She looked down at his guitar. "I mean, it's pretty obvious."

Puck was desperate, but that didn't mean that Rachel had to know that.

"Actually," Puck shrugged, "You were standing in my way. I was just trying to go around you."

"Then by all means," Rachel used her hands to make a sweeping gesture down the hallway.

Puck had no intention of moving.

"You know, Berry, you can be the most infuriating person sometimes."

"What a great way to start an apology," she commented.

"Who says I was going to apologize?"

Again, Rachel looked down at the guitar. "I've seen enough teen movies and romantic comedies to know when someone is planning on making a grand gesture. You were going to apologize through a song."

Well, it sounded stupid when she put it that way.

Puck set the guitar on the floor. "Ha, I was just carrying this to the band room."

Nice recovery, Puck thought.

"The band room's the other way."

Shit. Puck winced.

"Besides, your fingers were on the strings when I turned around."

Puck faltered. "Sometimes, I just like to hold things…"

What? Puck was mad at himself. He was trying to be coy, not sound like a pervert.

Rachel shook her head as if to say that she didn't believe him.

"What song were you going to sing to me?"

"I wasn't…"

"Come on, what song?"

Time to come clean.

Puck lowered his head and mumbled, "Why can't we be friends?"

Rachel's voice was gentle, "Is that what you want, for us to be friends?"

Puck kept his head down. "Yes. I do. I'm really sorry that things got screwed up, and I'm sorry I lied in the first place. If you give me another chance, I promise not to be such a jackass."

Rachel reached into her locker and pulled out a small stack of CDs. "If we're friends now, does that mean I get to hold onto these?"

Puck recognized that these were the CDs he had lent Rachel when she had come over his house. Except for the CD on the top, Puck hadn't let Rachel borrow that one.

Puck tried to grab the top one, but Rachel pulled it back. That particular CD had the following words written on it in black magic marker: _Songs by Puck_.

"What the hell Rachel, I didn't give you that one."

"It must have accidentally fallen off your shelf and into my bag when you weren't looking," Rachel said by way of explanation.

Puck was perturbed. He didn't like sharing his private stuff. "Did you listen to it?"

"No, I used it as a coaster," Rachel joked.

Puck was not impressed.

"Of course I listened to it, and the songs were great. I especially liked the one where you talk about getting lost in the quicksand of a particular girl's eyes. That line was so poetic."

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, I'm being sincere Noah. I almost approached Mr. Schuester with one song because I thought it would be a lovely choice for us to sing as a group. But, I didn't want to go behind your back."

"So, you didn't show it to anyone else?" Puck asked feeling relieved.

"No," Rachel assured him, "But I think that you should. There's a lot of great stuff on here, and I should know because I have excellent taste in music."

"Hey _friend_," Puck said, "I think you should hand it over now."

Rachel casually put the CD into her bag and out of sight. "Well, _friend_, I would love it if I could hold onto it for a little while."

Puck knew something that might change her mind. He reached into the front pocket of his jeans, and pulled out a tiny scrap of paper.

"I propose a trade. If you give me back my CD, I will let you see what's written on this paper."

Rachel's curiosity was piqued. "Is that the paper…?"

"Yup," Puck confirmed. "This paper is from the writing exercise in glee that went terribly wrong. I didn't put it into the hat when everyone else did because I didn't want to potentially share my business with the entire school."

"Smart move," Rachel acknowledged.

"I thought so," Puck said smoothly. "So do we have a deal?"

Rachel thought for a moment before saying, "No."

"No?"

Puck thought that he had convinced her.

"No, that paper could be blank for all I know. I've watched _Let's Make a Deal_; I know how these things can turn south. Therefore, I think I'll stick with what I've got." Rachel smiled sweetly.

Puck pretended not to care, and put the paper back in his front pocket.

Rachel turned back to her locker, and Puck gestured vaguely toward his pocket, "Are you sure you don't want to know what's hidden behind curtain number one?"

Rachel pointedly stared at an area of his jeans that was suspiciously close to his crotch, and said, "I think I can guess."

Whoa, that's not what Puck meant at all.

Puck coughed, slightly embarrassed by Rachel's perusal.

He was looking around the hallway, trying to gain some composure, when he heard Rachel say Ouch!

Puck quickly glanced over at her. "What's the matter Rachel?"

Rachel wriggled to the side slightly, "It's just that my bra strap is pinching my back, and I can't untwist it."

Puck's mouth went dry. "Uh, do you want some help?"

"Sure, thanks." Rachel presented her back to Puck.

Hmmm, Puck was suspicious. She was up to something.

He knew that this was some kind of trick.

He should resist.

He was going to resist.

Oh hell, he didn't care.

Puck reached down the neck of Rachel's shirt. He didn't see any major tangles in the straps of pink lace. He ran his hands down one strap and then the other just to be sure.

It was a difficult job, but somebody had to do it.

Finally, he pulled himself away. "Rachel, did I fix the problem?"

"Rachel?"

Rachel turned around with a triumphant look on her face. She raised her hand, and grasped in her fist, was the tiny scrap of paper that had previously been in Puck's jeans.

Puck immediately reached for his pocket, but came up empty.

That little sneak!

"You picked my pocket," Puck said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, yes I did."

Puck pretended to be disgusted. "What kind of person would do such a thing?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you were well compensated."

Puck couldn't help but smirk, heck yeah he was. He just wished that he was paying more attention when Rachel had reached into his pocket…

Puck had secretly wanted Rachel to read it, but now he was nervous. What if she didn't feel the same way?

Rachel unfolded the paper. She read it once, and then read it again. She turned it every which way, but the paper contained only two words:

_**Rachel Berry.**_

"I don't get it," she said at last. "All this says is my name."

"Exactly," Puck said.

Rachel bit her lip. "What is this supposed to mean?"

Puck remembered what had prompted him to write what he did in the first place.

"Mr. Schuester told us to write down a hope, a fear, or a wish. Well, you're all those things wrapped into one. I like being with you and I hope you like being with me, you scare the crap out of me, and I wish things weren't so damned complicated so that we could just be together."

Rachel was silent for a few moments.

Puck was wicked antsy. He felt like he was going to jump out of his skin. He wildly thought that anyone who walked by right now would think he was about to pee his pants.

Right when Puck was ready to take Rachel by the shoulders and shake a response out of her because he could wait no longer, she managed to squeak out one word.

"Wow," she said.

What the heck did that mean? Puck couldn't tell from her intonation. Was that a good wow like—yay I just won the lottery, or a bad wow like—oh no, I just found out I've got the clap.

"Wow," she repeated.

"Yeah wowzers," Puck half-mocked. "I'm gonna need a little more than that Rachel."

Rachel looked up shyly. "So, you like me huh?"

Puck moved his thumb and forefinger a few inches apart and held them up like a measurement, "Just a bit yes."

"Thank you," Rachel said simply.

Leave it to Rachel to pay attention to manners.

Because he felt like he had to, Puck said back to her, "You're welcome."

Rachel sagged against the lockers. "You're right about one thing, this sure is complicated."

Puck nodded his agreement as he listened to Rachel think her thoughts out loud.

"I mean," she continued, "you're still the father of Quinn's baby and she's gonna be pregnant for another couple of months. Plus, we should be focusing on getting ready for Regionals, we still have a lot of work to do. And, if we have a relationship that might adversely affect the dynamics of the whole group, especially now that I've kissed Finn and he might have lingering feelings for me…"

Puck's ears perked up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You kissed Finn?"

"You know that I kissed Finn before I ever kissed you."

"I know, but have you kissed him recently?"

"Yes, but you kissed Quinn," Rachel said defensively.

"She kissed me," Puck pointed out.

"You didn't exactly push Quinn away."

"Well it sounds like you didn't exactly push Finn away either."

"Huh, did you ever notice how weird it is that their names rhyme?" Rachel observed while getting off topic.

"Now that you mention it that is kind of weird. Quinn and Finn, Finn and Quinn, that sounds lame. Hey, maybe they should wear matching outfits."

"Yeah," Rachel laughed, "and maybe they could be in one of those _Doublemint_ gum commercials."

Puck snickered at the thought.

"Listen," Rachel said getting back on track, "I did kiss Finn. But while I was kissing him, I realized that he wasn't what I wanted."

"I thought Finn was the perfect guy for you," Puck said half-kidding and half-not.

Rachel tapped the side of her head, "I thought the same thing in here. But," she tapped the center of her chest, "I didn't feel it in here."

Puck inched closer. "Do you feel it now?"

Rachel's heart began to race a little faster. She placed her arms around Puck's neck, and let one hand drift lightly across his mohawk.

"I knew it," Puck said smugly. "You're just using me to get close to my hair. I don't blame you, it is pretty badass."

"You caught me. I only like you because of the mohawk; I find myself being drawn to such a rebellious display."

Puck put one of his own hands on top of his head and referred to the mohawk by saying, "This baby has turned heads in its day."

"Oh God," Rachel stifled a chuckle. She didn't want to encourage him when there was something else she had to say.

"Hey Noah," she maintained steady eye contact. "I need to tell you something."

"Hit me."

Rachel kept her arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders. "Well, I meant what I said before about things being complicated. I mean, you are having a baby with Quinn, and the glee club does need to practice if we have any hopes of winning."

Puck didn't like the sound of this. "So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I want to be with you, but…" Rachel trailed off.

Puck knew her well enough by now to know what she wanted to say. "But, you don't think that now is the right time," Puck finished.

"I think we should wait a little while. You know, let things settle."

Puck wasn't angry, just disappointed. He understood where Rachel was coming from. He had broken her trust, and it would take more than a measly apology to gain it all back.

"You're not gonna back out on me, are you Berry?" Puck teased.

Rachel blushed. "Not a chance. I just think we need to wait until it's the right time for both of us."

Puck backed Rachel up against the lockers. "It's the right time for me. So, when you're ready, all you need to do is give me a sign."

Rachel was intrigued. "What kind of sign?"

Puck smiled the smile that only he could pull off. "You figure it out."

"Should I write a note?" Rachel asked.

"You know I don't like to read." Puck's eyes twinkled.

Rachel thought hard. "Should I call on the phone?"

"You know, I'm not too great at the verbal thing either." Puck's eyes positively sparkled.

Rachel had it this time. "Should I write you a musical number and sing it?"

"Uh, too dramatic. I'm not the biggest fan of grand gestures, you know that." Puck teased.

Rachel was stumped. "Well, what kind of sign do you want?"

Puck leaned closer so that there were only scant millimeters between them. His eyes drifted to Rachel's lips and lingered there.

Rachel noticed the attention and licked her lips for her captive audience.

"Well?" she prompted again. "What sign do you want?"

Puck thought back over the past couple of months, how Rachel had stormed into his life and changed it for the better. How she had made him want to grow up and be a responsible person that someone could depend on. He thought about all the fun times they had had together, and all the serious times too. When Puck took into account the way Rachel made him feel, there was really only one sign that he needed from her.

In a voice barely above a whisper, Puck revealed what he wanted most in the world.

"Pucker Up, Rachel."

"Just Pucker Up."

At that moment, she had no choice but to comply.

**The End**


End file.
